Not the love ace Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 I HATE to admit this, and I am so, so, so embarrassed to say this even over the internet. Good thing no one here knows me personally and vice verse because despite being behind a monitor I feel ashamed that I fell victim to this. Without a surprise, I fear I have become addicted to porn and it's killing me. Every morning when I wake up before going to work and doing other obligations, I put porn on and masturbate. When I get home, I'll masturbate before I go to sleep to porn. It's probably not as extreme as other men that I've seen on documentaries where they can't wait to get home and watch porn and where they spend thousands of dollars buying porn, spend hours online watching it etc but non-the-less watching 3 times a day is enough for me to feel I am an addict. The reason for my viewing of this material is because I hardly get sex. It's not because I'm not attractive, or I can't perform, or I choose not to, it's just because for whatever reason, I just don't have as much sex as I would desperately like to and there seems to be a roadblock in me having sex. The timing is always bad or some other silly circumstance prevents me and the partner from having sex. So this leads me resorting to pornography as a means of my sexual relief. I feel that when I masturbate and watch pornography I am getting some sort of sexual gratification but it's just a big imagination for me compensating for my sexual loss. I feel disgusted a lot of the times. Not because I feel like I'm doing anything wrong but I just feel like I'm wasting precious time watching porn when I can focus on more educational videos that I love to watch, or watch my anime, or just take the time that I'm doing on watching porn to do other things. Like physical exercise etc. Sometimes I'm afraid of going on the computer because one of the first things I'll randomly look at is porn and sometimes it "just happens". I've been dealing with this problem for a 3 years or even more and it's killing me. There are times I refrain from porn for a week and then BAM, I get hit with the addiction againe. My addiction probably hasn't gone extreme but it does get me down, beat me up, chew me out and makes me feel like a loser. I understand that masturbation isn't a bad thing, I understand that porn isn't terrible either and I used to watch it in moderation or once in a blue but I just want to beat this and feel better about myself. I want to put my energy into something much more productive and that's going to make me feel more motivated. Thanks for listening, any tips, advice, helps? Thank you.
Cee Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 There are several 12 step programs for sex addiction: Sexaholics Anonymous (SA) Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (SCA) I was in SLAA and it changed my life. You don't just talk about the addiction, but you talk about your life and relationships. Recovery is hard, but possible. And in these programs, nobody blinks about what you do. They are very much anonymous and everybody is pretty much average except for the addiction. Do some searching on the web for face-to-face and online meetings. Therapy is important too. Most people in these programs are also in individual or group therapy. Good luck.
denise_xo Posted August 27, 2010 Posted August 27, 2010 I haven't been in your situation, but I've been addicted to cigarettes and alcohol. Pyschologically, the big turn is when you see quitting whatever you're quitting as a point of liberation rather than a state where you are depriving yourself. As long as you stop something but feel deprivation, you're always going to subconciously want it back. Frame it as liberation, as it becomes one of the best choices you've made in your life.
Feelin Frisky Posted August 27, 2010 Posted August 27, 2010 I would't sweat the self-recrimantion. No one's getting hurt. But definitely get out more. (And save a load).
Ronni_W Posted August 27, 2010 Posted August 27, 2010 Not the love ace, Both Cee and denise have offered good suggestions. Part of it is using your intellect to "help" you think through what's happening, why it's happening and how to live more according to what you really want. Hopefully you'll find something that works for you. Best of luck. No one's getting hurt. No one except Not the love ace. Or didn't you notice the distress? FF, you strike me as an intelligent and caring human. You'd increase your value if you opted for less of the flippant "advice" and cheap/easy laughs, and more of the substance that you too-infrequently share.
Feelin Frisky Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 (edited) Not the love ace, Both Cee and denise have offered good suggestions. Part of it is using your intellect to "help" you think through what's happening, why it's happening and how to live more according to what you really want. Hopefully you'll find something that works for you. Best of luck. No one except Not the love ace. Or didn't you notice the distress? FF, you strike me as an intelligent and caring human. You'd increase your value if you opted for less of the flippant "advice" and cheap/easy laughs, and more of the substance that you too-infrequently share. Gee Ronni, do ya think? Maybe you should stfu. Pardon my intelligence and caring human nature. I make enough time for sensitive posts and sometimes I don't have that time. I don't recall seeing anything from you ever. Does 5K posts give you an entitlement to drag my head. I don't think so. This is a free forum and you have no more place than me. Spread your cheer on someone else or keep it. Edited August 28, 2010 by Feelin Frisky
Ronni_W Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 I make enough time for sensitive posts Does not entitle you to also make insensitive, dismissive, disrespectful posts; or use others' emotional distress/pain for your own entertainment. I do apologize for my other obvious errors, though.
mohdhm Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 there is a well-known book called the porn trap. Read it, it worked great for me.
Author Not the love ace Posted September 5, 2010 Author Posted September 5, 2010 Thanks everyone for your advice and tips. On a side note, I agree Frisky is a very intelligent guy but sometimes you just can't listen to him.
Feelin Frisky Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 Thanks everyone for your advice and tips. On a side note, I agree Frisky is a very intelligent guy but sometimes you just can't listen to him. Right. No one has to read me just as I pass (quietly) on others' posts that don't resonate with me. It's souring to criticize people for being themselves. And that's exactly what I experienced on your thread (not by you of course). Rock on...
Author Not the love ace Posted September 5, 2010 Author Posted September 5, 2010 Right. No one has to read me just as I pass (quietly) on others' posts that don't resonate with me. It's souring to criticize people for being themselves. And that's exactly what I experienced on your thread (not by you of course). Rock on... Ahahahaha. I will.
skydiveaddict Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Thanks for listening, any tips, advice, helps? Thank you. You know what I would do? Put a big picture of your mom or your wife (if applicable) right in front of your computer screen
Nikki Sahagin Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 Don't be embarrassed - everyone talks about all sorts on here! Are you sure its an addiction? I know i'm a girl and all but I use to want to rush home from school to watch porn. I know I was never addicted but I did want to watch it...A LOT. I'd get people out of the house quick to watch it. And I get why porn is popular; you can watch exactly what you want, have variety and you'll always feel good. Though I sometimes feel guilty afterwards, probably for different reasons than you. I really like the idea posted above about putting a picture of a loved one on the screen as a deterrent.
skydiveaddict Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 I really like the idea posted above about putting a picture of a loved one on the screen as a deterrent. Or perhaps a real life picture right next to the screen, so it couldn't be erased.
Gettin There Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 (edited) I really like the idea posted above about putting a picture of a loved one on the screen as a deterrent. That will not work trust me. You will end up getting off while looking at your loved one and feel like, well, you just had sex with your mom in the room ;P Pictures of your cat won't work either. Hehe.. I say, try just not thinking of it as an 'addiction' so much, as practcie. Think of it as practice. And the more practice the better... A way to put a twist on it. Edited September 10, 2010 by Gettin There
Recommended Posts