sarahbaby75 Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 Hi guys After a painful break up over trust issues with my ex, and 2 month of seeing each other after the break up we are trying to work things out, and try again. I love him with all my heart.. and want us to work this time more than anything. We spoke about everything in the relationship before that wasn't right, and I realise how jealous and insecure i was. I dont want to be like that atal, as i love him and dont want to push him away again. I had been hurt badly in the past by a cheating ex, and my boyfriend had done small things all the time that would make me doubt him constantly, and tell me stupid wee lies which tore away at me Does anyone have tips on learning to trust someone, and get over jealousy and insecurities? xx
TaraMaiden Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 Perhaps you could see a Counsellor together, to find the root of this mistrust and jealousy. Bear in mind though, that if we want our partners to trust us, we have to, in turn, demonstrate that we are completely trustworthy....
NYCmitch25 Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 (edited) Hi guys After a painful break up over trust issues with my ex, and 2 month of seeing each other after the break up we are trying to work things out, and try again. I love him with all my heart.. and want us to work this time more than anything. We spoke about everything in the relationship before that wasn't right, and I realise how jealous and insecure i was. I dont want to be like that atal, as i love him and dont want to push him away again. I had been hurt badly in the past by a cheating ex, and my boyfriend had done small things all the time that would make me doubt him constantly, and tell me stupid wee lies which tore away at me Does anyone have tips on learning to trust someone, and get over jealousy and insecurities? xx Well, many times they call being afraid of spiders, of heights and things of that nature as "one trial learning". Certainly useful in some cases (spiders are nasty) but in your case it's prohibiting you from actually having meaningful interpersonal relationships. Depending on the severity or attempts on your part to improve your outlook, you may want to seek counciling. Having the opportunity to discuss your feelings with someone removed from the picture can not only feel good, but can provide you with a new perspective as well. A psychologist has no motivation to defend the trust violator, and may provide some insight that will help you move forward. Now if you really think about it, you HAVE to trust your BF, the alternative is simply not an option. Group therapy sessions can also be beneficial, as you will find camaraderie in others struggling to meet the same goals as yourself. Also, take some time to examine your personality and certain pieces of it that may make trust difficult. Are you a recluse? Etc. etc. Good luck Edited August 26, 2010 by NYCmitch25
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