cesar13 Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 Long story short, gf and I have been going through alot. I thought we were fine until she started talking to a friend at odd hours of the night. As far as I know that's all that's happened. She's going to therapy , we been trying to work it out but last night she says that she needs a break. She says she wants a break to think things through , in our break we can do whatever. She says she's going to probably go out with her female friend and her male friend and his friend. She also said " if we do something lets not tell each other". I proposed a month long break but she stopped all that talk and said that by a month she would've already figured it out ( i don't know how she is such a fortune teller). I then said ok three or two weeks and she agreed. Now I'm not stupid. I know she knows what she has at home , but I think that since she's never been with another guy besides me , she wants to test the waters. I'm not an idiot, this break isn't really to think **** over at all. Girl wants to go out with this guy to probably **** and get it over. She hasn't ****ed me in like four or five months. She says her libido is almost non existant so I have nothing to worry about. She also said if we do anything not to tell each other anything. I told her I was going to get in contact with an old friend of mine who is a female and she got FURIOUS. I know she still has feelings for me , I can probably bet the farm that after the two weeks she'll say she loves me and wants nothing else. What gets to me is how can you call a break just to do this. She's been wanting this break for a while now , I know, she tried telling me this before but she didn't have the balls to do it. I had to do it myself and get it out of her. I have a feeling this is all she wants because she said " we can keep in contact during this break if you want". Ok.. if you want a break why in the blue hell would you still want contact. " we don't have to avoid each other". Really ? That's just plain stupid. I know that she knows what she has at home , and maybe she just does want to hang out with friends and chill , maybe get a lil flirty with guys , I don't know. I just think its stupid that she thinks I'm stupid.
Author cesar13 Posted August 26, 2010 Author Posted August 26, 2010 and for the record.. i'ma go out and have as much fun as I possibly can have. When I get home I'ma take a sleeping pill to make sure I'm not there when she gets home , to make sure I don't talk to her for the entire two weeks. I know she's going to try to initiate contact , and I am probably going to ignore her, or tell her that i'm on my break to talk to me in two weeks.
a.lyons1 Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 and for the record.. i'ma go out and have as much fun as I possibly can have. When I get home I'ma take a sleeping pill to make sure I'm not there when she gets home , to make sure I don't talk to her for the entire two weeks. I know she's going to try to initiate contact , and I am probably going to ignore her, or tell her that i'm on my break to talk to me in two weeks. How old are you? Listen break it up mate, ring her and say its over, impose NC, and mean it. Go out, drink, flirt, take up the gym, play sports, etc. Thousands of girls out there, get one that loves you and wants to be with you period. Only take her back if she begs at your feet.
kickintheaz Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 Op I hate to say it, and it can't be sugar coated but em, this is a BREAK UP.... Girl wants to go out and 'chill' with 'friends'... 'lets not tell each other if we do stuff'...WHY would she say those things? sorry to say friend, her libido is low only with you... Start prepping now to move on with your life, this girl has checked out of your relationship a while ago, emotionally, she wants to 'go have fun'... em well if that was me, I'd gather up all my self respect in a big duffel bag and go get my life back, without her... I think be the bigger man here, sit her down, explain you are not accepting this behaviour, either she wants in or out, but the fact she has the gall to say all that to you and get annoyed when YOU mention contacting an old friend.. well, I'd be using those 2 weeks to sort out your stuff and move on in life.. sh**ty deal I know, but I gather from you posting here, (and presumably reading other threads) you just need someone to confirm your worst case scenario.. it has arrived, now its how you deal with it that wil get you to a better place.. and thats where we can try and help.. stay strong, but don't take this b/s from ANYONE.... its time to take back your life and go live it for you on your terms....
Author cesar13 Posted August 26, 2010 Author Posted August 26, 2010 A little additional information. I'm 26, she's a year older. She's never gone out to bars or clubs or anything except once with a gay friend and that was like 6 years ago, doesn't have any friends except this one who she says she'd never hook up with because he's a womanizer and also an athiest. She has one female friend whos she is very close but doesn't go out with her either. She only goes out with me , she's always with me. She doesn't know how to drive , she depends on me or her father to take her anywhere. She is going to therapy due to alot of crap going on in her life , she knows I'll always be there for her. Maybe I was a bit hasty saying she's gonna **** him , but you never know. Maybe she just wants to see what the rest of the world is about besides me. She says that last year , I left her for a week and she cried for me everyday. She wants to feel that again. I told her if we take a break this is the last break we ever take. All indications to me show she just wants to go out and be a girl and have fun without the ol ball and chain. I think we both deserve time to go out , she's very insecure , hasn't really gotten over that either and so am I. Maybe this will do us both some good, lord knows.
Author cesar13 Posted August 26, 2010 Author Posted August 26, 2010 Op Girl wants to go out and 'chill' with 'friends'... 'lets not tell each other if we do stuff'...WHY would she say those things? . i asked her that before we do anything we should come up with some sort of rules , like what's ok , is kissing ok , what's too far. She said " its a break you do what you want just don't tell me what you did. "
a.lyons1 Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 Sorry for being harsh, but get some balls and live your life. WHETHER or not you love her or not, no woman has the right to treat you like a second class citizen. Please get out now before she breaks your heart. Please!!!
kickintheaz Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 A little additional information. I'm 26, she's a year older. She's never gone out to bars or clubs or anything except once with a gay friend and that was like 6 years ago, doesn't have any friends except this one who she says she'd never hook up with because he's a womanizer and also an athiest. She has one female friend whos she is very close but doesn't go out with her either. She only goes out with me , she's always with me. She doesn't know how to drive , she depends on me or her father to take her anywhere. She is going to therapy due to alot of crap going on in her life , she knows I'll always be there for her. Maybe I was a bit hasty saying she's gonna **** him , but you never know. Maybe she just wants to see what the rest of the world is about besides me. She says that last year , I left her for a week and she cried for me everyday. She wants to feel that again. I told her if we take a break this is the last break we ever take. All indications to me show she just wants to go out and be a girl and have fun without the ol ball and chain. I think we both deserve time to go out , she's very insecure , hasn't really gotten over that either and so am I. Maybe this will do us both some good, lord knows. All indications to me show that she is a selfish, immature, confused, 'the grass is greener' type person... She has little or no regard for your relationship or for you as a person. IF she did, she wouldn't be wanting to do this. You are going into a cycle of a 'break'.. again... and what about the next time Op, and the next time? You really need to start reading what you're writing Op and then looking at each and every detail... So.... WHY are you making excuses for her? WHY does she think you'll be there for her? WHY is she so dependent on others for help? (e.g driving) WHY has she no other friends? WHY have you been on 'a break' before? WHY is this the 'last break'? WHAT makes you insecure? Do you WANT this relationship to work out? If so, what do YOU want out of this relationship?
kickintheaz Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 i asked her that before we do anything we should come up with some sort of rules , like what's ok , is kissing ok , what's too far. She said " its a break you do what you want just don't tell me what you did. " oh ok, so you want an open relationship where ye can each go and do whoever and whatever you want... is that right? surely thats the ONLY reason you would come up with kissing rules?? so whats the problem??? (and yes, Op, I'm being sarcastic, but thats what it reads like)
Author cesar13 Posted August 26, 2010 Author Posted August 26, 2010 (edited) All indications to me show that she is a selfish, immature, confused, 'the grass is greener' type person... She has little or no regard for your relationship or for you as a person. IF she did, she wouldn't be wanting to do this. You are going into a cycle of a 'break'.. again... and what about the next time Op, and the next time? You really need to start reading what you're writing Op and then looking at each and every detail... So.... WHY are you making excuses for her? I have no idea. WHY does she think you'll be there for her? because I will WHY is she so dependent on others for help? (e.g driving) because she never learned WHY has she no other friends? this is partly my fault and hers. she's insecure , made me get rid of my friends , she never had friends. Until recently she's been saying its ok for us to have friends and I bet you anything its because of the guy texting her. I kinda made her stop talking to people which was my fault. WHY have you been on 'a break' before? I was verbally abusive and she said that she wanted it to stop so I told her to do something about it... so she did. She had an emotional relationship witha guy online and I got angry and left her for a week. She called me back crying and wanted me back saying sh e made a mistake. WHY is this the 'last break'? It's really our first one , but I said if this is a break this will be our first and last. She said she wanted to talk to the therapist about what was going on. WHAT makes you insecure? The fact I've been ****ed over by all my girls because of my insecurity. Do you WANT this relationship to work out? Of course I do. She says the same thing , we went to therapy and is willing to do the same , but she says she wants to think about things. If so, what do YOU want out of this relationship? Equality , fairness , and love. In all fairness I think she wants to fix this relationship b ut she wants to have her male friends too, which I think is a problem. I'm insecure. I'm going to therapy for it. She also doesn't want me to have friends that are girls but these things have to be figured out before anything else can happen. This break is either going to make us or break us , if I love her I am going to let her go for now and if after the break she doesn't want to fix things then she's not worth it. Edited August 26, 2010 by cesar13
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