beachwrangler Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 Shes 20 and im 23. Been dating for 8 months. This past weekend was amazing she told me she felt the closest to me she ever has before. Well sunday I screwed it all up. I requested a girl on facebook that one of my bestfriends use to date that ive known since my childhood. When she added me I deleted the notifcation of us being friends. Well I was on my email and left the room and my gf saw that I had an email confirming us of now being friends but saw I had deleted the notification of us being friends on my actualy facebook page. She took this as me hiding it from her and now she thinks I did it because I was either trying to talk to her or already was. I wasn’t at all I love my gf to death and would do anything for her. I shouldve never tried to hide it. Was really dumb of me and is not worth the hurt Ive caused her. She told me she missed me yesterday and wants to eventually marry me but then that night told me she doesn’t know what she wants and if she can be with me. Shes afraid if I hide something that small I will hide something much bigger. When im not gonna hide anything from her not anymore. I have always been loyal to her and want to spend the rest of my days with her. I just feel its too late. I already feel like im losing her as she told me last night ” i was happier single, no stress, no worries, no jealousy” but then she tells me her life sucks when im not there and isn’t happy without me. I just want to make things right. Already told her how sorry I was and how much I loved her and sent a long apology note. So she texted me this morning telling me she loves me and wants to see me today. So after class she came over and everything seemed find. She told me she loved me numerous times, had sex, cuddled all the norm like nothing had ever happened everything was perfect. Then she flipped the switch. She was on top of me kissing me and seemed to want to have sex again and she stopped looked at me and said she was going home. I told her I loved her got no reply and she drove off. Once she got home told me she was confused and that she was talkin to her friends (most of her friends happen to be guys) that said guys who hide small things always will hide big things such as cheating. This hurt that she would believe them over me. She then sent me a text saying “I know you like to look at other girls and request them on fb for all i know your probably looking for another gf. I responded with “Im putting everything into you bc I wanna be with you. I found the girl i want more than anything if i was just lookin for another i wouldn’t care about any of this. I swear on everything your who i want i dont give a **** what other dudes say im tellin you i want you and will always love you. just be with me baby ill prove you and all of them wrong. Havent heard anything since. I really do love this girl but dont know what to do to make her believe me. Sorry for the long post.
flutterbya Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 Hello beachwrangler, I had this exact scenario happen a few weeks ago. I felt just like your girlfriend did. May I ask what was the reason for deleting the notification off your page? Do you know why you did it? and Was it only this girl that you did it to? See how suspious that looks? Our history was that he had been shady before so of course I flipped out. Just give her a few days to get over the hurt and remain transparent in everything else you do. Her trust has taken a hit because basically you tried to fool her or trick her( in her mind anyway). You have to admit it was a dishonest move if you were trying to hide it. If you are straight up it shouldn't be a problem then. She will nurse the hurt and remember what you two have. Good luck
JusChill Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 (edited) Seems like they weren't much trust in the relationship...actually you didn't do anything wrong so don't blame yourself. Sometimes as a guys, we do not like the girls to worry about stupid things so we tend to hide it....i completely understand. Look at this in my perspective, no matter how perfect this relationship seems to you. Everyone makes mistakes and in a relationship we should learn to let go sometimes and move on.... that girl your dating seems to hold grudge over every little thing you will do to her. And that's freaking scary, cause it'll be just a matter of time until you break up again because of something irrelevant. What you can do now, is just wait. If she misses you and love you, she'll come back. ps. one more thing, your 2 young to be thinking about marriage, get that **** out of your head. Until u stayed and lived with that woman for yearsssss, then you can maybe consider it. Edited August 26, 2010 by JusChill
Hop_prophet Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 Don't beat yourself up too much. Sure you made a mistake and it looks a little sketchy but you apologized and a strong relationship should be able to recover from that. Giver her some space and let her think about it for awhile. She is really really reaching and for her to jump to the conclusion that you are cheating is pretty ridiculous given the circumstances. I would be offended if my gf accused me of something like that. I think it is kind of a red flag, honestly. I made a mistake like this early on in my relationship and learned from it. I'm sure you will too. Hopefully she comes around, but if not then she probably didn't have enough trust in you to begin with.
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