Quantum_Nuka Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 I wrote a week or so ago about my boyfriend who dumped me because "he loves me, but he's not in love with me". I think he has a few emotional issues, he cried a lot when he dumped me, was shaking etc. And was battling in his mind whether us being together was right or not. Naturally, I was devestated and I'm still confused as to why this happened. He wants to be friends, but when I contacted him, he would be very cold towards me. So... I finally took the advice of some great people on LS to go NC. I didn't want to at first because I just wanted to talk to him and be with him (looking back, I look needy)... Anyway, after a failed attempt to contact him (I asked if we could hang, he said no it's too soon for him), I thought **** this, I am going NC. We broke up on the 11th. I stopped initiating contact on the 21st. I start getting texts on the 23rd and have done daily since then. HE has been initiating it. It's very brief, small talk, nothing major. I reply eventually, and I am up beat and happy in the messages. I have not once spoken about the break up once or even mentioned the relationship... What should I be doing in these situations? Am I doing the right thing by replying? I do want him back eventually, not right now because we're both ****ed emotionally from this (like I said, he has issues). We will be at the same gig on Saturday night (small gig, local) and I am wondering how should I act? I know not to act depressed etc (that would be stupid), I'd just like some tips on handling this because I do want him back eventually.
skydiveaddict Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 I wrote a week or so ago about my boyfriend who dumped me because "he loves me, but he's not in love with me". NC. Oldest line in the book. (although usually used by women, no offense meant) he is a total wuss, give him no more attention at all. no matter what he does. You don't want a girly man like that in your life. soon you'll be wondering why you ever dated him at all.
Author Quantum_Nuka Posted August 26, 2010 Author Posted August 26, 2010 (edited) Hmmm... like I said - I think he has some emotional issues. His ex really did a number on him. I've met her, she'd have to be the biggest head case I've ever met... Pretty sure it's contributing to his emotional state. We got together a couple of months after they broke up, perhaps he wasn't ready... I love this person, we were very good friends before we got together. It's very hard for me to just walk away, especially when I think he needs help. Edited August 26, 2010 by Quantum_Nuka
skydiveaddict Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 And you're letting him take it out on you by stringing you along? With "I love you, but I'm not in love with you?" It's up to you, but he's just gonna smash your heart. He is to a wuss or he would have NEVER have said that to you. He would act like a man and tell you the truth. But like I said it's up to you. I hope things work out for you.
Author Quantum_Nuka Posted August 26, 2010 Author Posted August 26, 2010 I know.... I know.... He probably will smash my heart, it's already smashed to pieces. I'm going out this weekend and I have no idea how I am going to have fun because I'm still very upset. The truth, he reckons, is he just see's me as a friend... Why bother telling someone you love them then? I wanted to work it out, and in his head he couldn't see how we could and broke up with me. He really is a very sweet guy, but right now I'm not really painting him in that light.
Author Quantum_Nuka Posted August 26, 2010 Author Posted August 26, 2010 I've been doing a bit of research tonight, with the help of a friend who is a psych. I looked up commitment phobia... He has all the symptoms of this
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