When to contact him after his fling leaves...feedack is appreciated

[rose45]

I decided to make a shorter thread and maybe more or different people will read and give their feedback.

 

My ex and i were together for a few years; I was very young when i met him..learned from my mistakes and really think things can be different this time. We have been talking on and off for about a year. He told me this is hard for him and he buried alot of those feelings.

 

my ex told me in june he has a girl visiting for a few months and she will be going home once the visa is up. He said they met over a year ago when she was on vacation and she came her to see him. It was only supposed to be for a few weeks but it turns out it will be a for a few months. I am assuming when she crossed over they gave her a 90 day visa b/c they decide then how long can you stay--you can't choose it yourself from what i know. We spoke about this June 11th or so and he said 2 and a half months she will be gone so its not a permanent thing. He is content with the situation right now and its convenient. I am assuming he must have some feelings for her as well unless its just an opportunity for se* for a few months.

 

Has it been 2.5 months yet since then? i want to call him and see what can happen after this but i was hoping she was gone by now. My birthday passed over a week ago and he called at night and left me a voicemail. I decided to call back while away at the time and told him where I was. We spoke for about 15 minutes or so and he said he just came back from the so and so area. I just said ok because I didn't want to have to ask was it with her or what.

 

He said it was for a family thing and him and his mother went. During the conversation I did say maybe we can talk soon and catch up and he said ok sort of in a laughing/happy tone..maybe suprised by how ok i sounded and at ease. Because when he originally told me this i was upset and even cried on the phone with him. I asked if he had time for his side jobs and he said with everything going on not really but he is supposed to have one next week..i don't know what that meant--with her being there, leaving, the short trip he had to go on etc? He asked was i with family or friends and asked if i was getting crazy and i said no you know me.

 

maybe she left already? I have wanted to call him all week. I feel pretty sad right now wanting to talk to him and ask if we can start talking more like we were and get together. I think once we actually spend time together we will see what could happen.

 

A few people say I should wait another few days to a week before calling so i don't look too eager and i am not calling him so soon after he called me. They also say its important to not wait too long either.

 

I am just worried about a number of things--if i call and he has time to talk but she happens to still be in the area--and i start asking him these questions...i will feel pretty bad when he says she is still here right now and can't really think about this yet.

 

A friend of mine thinks she is gone if he called me at night for my birthday and went on this trip..unless she was visitng extended family in another state while he was gone and then flying back to him after and then flying home.

 

Another friend is saying to call the first week or so in september and in that way i will have increased my chances she is gone and he might be more open to talking.

 

Apart of me was debating about texting him..simply asking hey--can i call you sometime next week or so? and see what his response is. He will know by my text i am making sure it is ok to call and asking if she is still here. If he says he will try to answer then i will assume she is still here and maybe wait another week to phone him. A good friend of mine said she wouldn't text--it looks kind of weak to have to ask and maybe even slightly desperate and if i want to talk, call and if he doesn't answer just leave a voicemail.

 

For some reason; it is really hard to wait..a week feels like a month. I guess i want to know if she is still there or if he has any more bad news for me like they are engaged.

 

What does everyone think? Any thoughts besides forgetting him? I know i want to try asking one last time and even tell him maybe it was a good thing we spoke this year and took our time and if we are still talking and on good terms after everything--then maybe it isn't a bad idea for us to spend some time together.