Delacy Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 I am in a LDR myself and her always planned to get married and her move near me, then she suddenly says she needs ALOT more time at least two years to get used to being away from her family and friends, this has compleatly broken my heart, should i still hang around and risk the heart ache of her changing her mind again two years down the line? she said it would happen but how can i believe her after this? i was so happy before she said this. SHOULD I END THE RELATIONSHIP?
BloodBerry Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 I am in a LDR myself and her always planned to get married and her move near me, then she suddenly says she needs ALOT more time at least two years to get used to being away from her family and friends, this has compleatly broken my heart, should i still hang around and risk the heart ache of her changing her mind again two years down the line? she said it would happen but how can i believe her after this? i was so happy before she said this. SHOULD I END THE RELATIONSHIP? Oh gosh no... you have to understand her side too... I have never been away from my family since birth, but I am willing to leave them for my SO. IT WILL HAPPEN eventually. But I admit I might also find it hard to be away from them at first. Just trust her word on this Think about this though, if you're thinking of giving her up for something like this, do you think what you have for her is real love? Maybe it is, but to leave her because you got hurt and the uncertainty, well, maybe you are being selfish in a way. My SO and I have been through worse things than this. My SO even said worse, he had plans to live with me and after a while, poof, I wasn't part of his plan. It hurts like hell, but I tried to understand. Try to compromise. If you really love her, be strong for her and support her all the way. =D
tornandmarried Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 hang in there....dont just end it....you could try to sweep her off her feet to make her reconsider waiting longer
xpaperxcutx Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 You sound selfish. If she'd moved she will be leaving all her close friends and family behind. Some people don't take to that very well, especially if the possibility of being alienated in a new place is higher than not.
Els Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 Why did you two decide to have her move to you instead of the other way round?
Arizonaheart Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 Oh gosh no... you have to understand her side too... I have never been away from my family since birth, but I am willing to leave them for my SO. IT WILL HAPPEN eventually. But I admit I might also find it hard to be away from them at first. Just trust her word on this Think about this though, if you're thinking of giving her up for something like this, do you think what you have for her is real love? Maybe it is, but to leave her because you got hurt and the uncertainty, well, maybe you are being selfish in a way. My SO and I have been through worse things than this. My SO even said worse, he had plans to live with me and after a while, poof, I wasn't part of his plan. It hurts like hell, but I tried to understand. Try to compromise. If you really love her, be strong for her and support her all the way. =D Relocating for a LDR is a HUGE decision. In my opinion I would venture to say it may even be more difficult than the decision to marry. If she is close to her family & enjoys the company of friends, perhaps even a stable job well that alone is a lot to leave behind. Rather than take it personal, put yourself in her shoes. Could you easily pack up and leave all emotional attachments behind without batting an eye? Sure she might have the promise of occasional visits but it just isn't the same. Be patient and understanding even when you feel like you can do nothing more than cry and hurt for yourself. She will appreciate that more than you know. OH and whatever you do- DO NOT try to convince her to change her mind just yet. Trust me on this one...I am currently in her shoes. Haven't verbalized it yet but boy am I having my doubts about moving 1800 miles away from my stable job, close knit family and my college age kids
Guitarjeff Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 Hmm, maybe I am on the other side. I can understand her feelings but saying two years? That's just a little much. How does she know it will take two years? I think that asking a little too much of you in my opinion. I can see 6 months or even an extra year, but two? I think she should have discussed the problem with you first without a time frame, that should be both of your decision. I don't like the way she just made that decision without your input, doesn't seem right, and two years is over the top.
carvidep Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 I am in a LDR myself and her always planned to get married and her move near me, then she suddenly says she needs ALOT more time at least two years to get used to being away from her family and friends, this has compleatly broken my heart, should i still hang around and risk the heart ache of her changing her mind again two years down the line? she said it would happen but how can i believe her after this? i was so happy before she said this. SHOULD I END THE RELATIONSHIP? There are so many unanswered questions here. I'm adding another one. What does she mean by needing "at least two years to get used to being away from her family and friends"? It sounds to me like she wants to try living away from them for the ***first time in her life*** to see if she can handle it. Does she say she wants to spend those two years with you, just dating? If so, don't look at that as a bad thing. Just because she isn't moving to immediately marry you does NOT mean that she doesn't want to be with you. These are just the ideas that I came up with, so I could be completely wrong. Regardless I do agree with the majority here that you should really give her a break and try to put yourself in her shoes.
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