Soysauce111 Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 I was with my girlfriend for about 1 and a half year. We were very loving and couldn't wait to see each other everyday. About a 2 months ago, it seems like the relationship is going downhill for a little bit. We fight over such small thing that i think is just very stupid. So we both agree to take a break from each other to have some space. Afterward, it was fine again, but wasn't for long till another break. Then, i start to feel like she doesn't find me attractive anymore, because we talk less, and hang out less. On top of all things, she is transferring to a University for 2 years this Fall 2010, that is 2hours away from home and i think that might have put some pressure on her about the distance. We had talked about the distance relationship before and i said that i would drive to visit when i have the chance or she can come back home when she have her chance but i told her that i don't expect her to have to come back to just to see me and i don't want to pressure her. And about a month ago, we talked and she called it quit. At first i did not expect that coming because the reasons that she told me was she wanted some time alone, she wanted to be single for right now, and that she doesn't want to be bother having someone behind at home. I really love her and really want it to work again. I tried to talk to her about getting back together a few times but it didn't work and she said let her think about it, and that she want some space. And we haven't talk for about 2weeks now. She also told me that "how about wait till i transfer to a University too, and we can start talking about reestablishing this relationship." I don't know whether she really mean that or she just say that for me to move on because she think it might take me a year to transfer out and by then i would have no feelings for her anymore. I feel like there is no hope left. I really want her back, but it seems like there is no chance left because i have already talked to her a few times and there is no change in her. At first she was feeling guilty for hurting me, then she realized that it was just guilt and not love. I really love her and i know that its too late now to have anything with her. I find it really hard to move on because i keep on thinking of her everyday. My biggest questions on getting my ex back is: -Why did she want to break up and not go for another try and start fresh? -Why did she give me hope of reestablishing the relationship in the future, when she has no feeling left? -I want to start talking to her again but is it too soon? I don't want to lose her as a friend also. -If we can be friends again, is there a future of getting back with her? -I have read so many things about re-attracting your ex back to like you, then can you bring her feelings back to you. Is that true? How can i do that? when should i do that? -Should i give her some space, and try to be friend with her(only when i have moved on) and start over by re-attracting her again? -I really want to get over it but my love is still strong for her. How can i get over it? -If i should move on, then can you guys tell me how? I find it really tough to move on even when I'm out with friends i still think of her and I still have strong feelings for her.
Nappeal Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 Ok...I realize now most of your questions are basically the same...asking if its possible that you both become friends, all w the hope of rekindling the relationship as a result. It is not going to happen that you both become friends, and it will be incredibly painful and unfair to you IF that were to happen. Once you're in the 'friend zone', there's just no going back. She has let the relationship go in her mind and has lost all interest in trying to make it work. Its terribly unfair, but for there to be a relationship, 2 people must be involved, and she does not want to be involved. Commit to no contact and learn to move on. It will be a long process, but worth it in the end. We are all struggling w this right now, but letting go completely is the healthiest and most beneficial thing you can do for yourself in the end.
BiAxident Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 Ask yourself, would it be worth it to go through the pain of another breakup in exchange for enjoying her company for a little while? Even if you do return to being friends, and even if she is attracted to you, that doesnt mean that it will work the second time around. At least, that was my experience. http://tinychat.com/myrelationship
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