EthanH Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 My situation is so complicated, it has gone on so long, that despite still caring I feel exhausted by it all. Writing this is tough, My ex broke up with me in Feb. Between Feb and May we hooked back up for a few times it was only for a few days each time, a lot of emotion from both sides, I tried everything, then I backed off. It wasn't that I gave up, I still liked her, but I wasn't getting anywhere. She spent most of her time just being annoyed that I hadn't given up. As 'most' people would have apparently stuck two fingers up to her and walked off, it proved her original theory that I liked her too much. In May, a few of her friends contacted me and said that they thought she was really struggling at uni, she was stressed out with exams coming up and the situation with us was really bothering her. So I took what I thought was the adult decision and went to where she was revising and wished her good luck and told her I knew she could do it. As i went to leave, she started crying and said that she wanted to talk about us. This was pretty unusual as usually it was me pushing to discuss us and her resisting or just saying she didn't know what she thought. That week she texted a lot asking to see me and in the end we ended up getting back together. She was still very scared of it all, told me she liked me, didn't like anyone else, but was scared of commitment and of how things were between us before. I just presumed both of us wanted to take things slowly. For the whole of June, she called me every night and wanted to see me after work. I left it to her as I didn't want to be accused of pushing things. 1st July she went away for 3 weeks for a summer job and called me every night. Then with a few days left before she was due to finish her job, she told me she was confused again and didn't want to be with someone she wasn't sure she liked enough, and that she needed to think. I decided I needed to send her an email just saying that I knew she needed to have more respect for me, that until she knew that she wanted to be with me, just to leave me alone. Things like how she said I was 'annoying' for still liking her, she slagged me so much and yet has since admitted that she did like me all along. They say people fight fiercest against things they know to be true, and this was certainly the case. Everyone who knew us saw that she lost respect for me as the relationship went on, I went through some pretty tough times, and my confidence dropped. I was a pretty confident, verging on arrogant guy when I met her. It was in May that I was able to get my life back on track and she admitted to me that she found my confidence attractive. The problem is now, I wrote the email firstly for myself, I knew I needed to have more respect for myself. But I also did think, as did all of her friends I discussed it with, that it would cause her to see the issue as a decision she wanted to make, rather than feeling it was something she merely was being pressurised to do. 3 weeks have gone by, one of which she was away on holiday with her mother, where I know it was very lazy and she just thought about things. She spoke to one of my friends recently and said that the 3 months we got back together, she was just really confused. Said I seemed to have accepted it now. It annoys the hell out of me, as I never wanted to break up with her, I knew things were wrong with us, but the issues we had have been largely due to our situations, it had nothing to do with us not liking each other enough. It feels like she is now moving on as she thinks I am doing the same and that has forced into this situation. Any comments would be gratefully appreciated.
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