Mad Max Posted August 31, 2010 Posted August 31, 2010 DO NOT contact her back. She dumped you, she needs to learn that she can't have her cake and eat it too. Ignore her.
leftfield Posted August 31, 2010 Posted August 31, 2010 Thanks mate. I dont know what to do 50/50 about it. How can a toxic relationship change? We both really hated each other at the end, I know we had alot of stress on us, but it was really bad. I think Ill sleep on it, give it 36 hours and make a decision. I do however, want to know what she wants and I may give her one chance to win me back. I need to hear the right things about change, counselling, respect etc- I have made some changes in last 4 weeks for me, to make me a better person- she has to do the same if the rship is going anywhere. Is this sensible? Toxic sounds pretty bad. If it got to the point where you hated each other then I think it might be best to leave that one in the past my friend. It's good that you've been concentrating on yourself and taking positive steps towards bettering yourself, so maybe you should continue with that. I think giving it a few days is definitely a good idea anyway, then you can weigh up the pros and cons. Most of what you read on here says that the second time around never really works out, but that's not to say it couldn't work for you two. I think you should just carry on with your cautious approach and keep your sensible head on throughout.
Author a.lyons1 Posted September 5, 2010 Author Posted September 5, 2010 I want to contact my ex, please stop me! I miss her so much!!
Don Ho Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 I want to contact my ex, please stop me! I miss her so much!! I take it you did not reply to her email?? Ok. DO NOT FCKN CONTACT HER! How was that?! Be careful Bro. Post here before you contact her!
pandagirl Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 Hey guys need advice, the ex has broken NC and has emailed me the following, " Hey there, take it you have changed your number? Been really missing you!!! We really need to talk about us!! xxxxx" What shall I do? It was really a mutual breakup, advice guys please!! Do not contact her until you have regained your sense of self and feel like you have moved on. Why did you break up? Are the problems fixable? Was she a bad girlfriend? If the relationship is beyond fixing, then go on with your life, and move on.
Author a.lyons1 Posted September 6, 2010 Author Posted September 6, 2010 Sorry, I did email her back. I said no point talking, all has been said etc. I did speak to her on the phone as she contacted me in work, she asked if I missed her and she seemed pissed off that I have pictures on fb, with other women enjoying myself. Ha! She admitted it was a big mistake and would not contact me again. That was on Thursday so, 5 days NC so far. I had a hard weekend, but Saturday was good cos I went on a date and thought the girl was nice. She seemed v interested in me, and hasnt stopped texting me since, so thats good. Im starting to feel a bit better today, thinking of her less positively and more negatively. That helps. Thanks guys
Don Ho Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Sorry, I did email her back. I said no point talking, all has been said etc. I did speak to her on the phone as she contacted me in work, she asked if I missed her and she seemed pissed off that I have pictures on fb, with other women enjoying myself. Ha! She admitted it was a big mistake and would not contact me again. That was on Thursday so, 5 days NC so far. I had a hard weekend, but Saturday was good cos I went on a date and thought the girl was nice. She seemed v interested in me, and hasnt stopped texting me since, so thats good. Im starting to feel a bit better today, thinking of her less positively and more negatively. That helps. Thanks guys Good job bro. That's funny that she said all that. See you met a new one!! Right on. Now, DO NOT be too responsive with the texts and don't spend more than a few minutes on the phone. Set up the next date and leave all the talk for then. Hang in there Bro, you're doing better.
Author a.lyons1 Posted September 8, 2010 Author Posted September 8, 2010 When does this get better? How do I improve my confidence, self esteem. Effing heartbroken I cant stop pedalisiting her
leftfield Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 When does this get better? How do I improve my confidence, self esteem. Effing heartbroken I cant stop pedalisiting her If you can get an answer to those questions then please let me know. The only answers I can realistically offer are; Q: When does it get better? A: "In time". How much time just depends on you and how proactive you can be in letting it go. It's tough I know, I'm struggling with the same thing. We're all on the same emotional roller coaster as you so just keep posting on here and hang out with your friends to help you ride it out. Q: How do I improve my self-esteem? A: Again, it's pretty much about being proactive dude. Get out there and do "stuff", whatever you enjoy. It's a bit of a vicious circle with this I know, because if your self-esteem was low to start with, getting dumped is the straw that breaks the camel's back. All I can suggest is to try to think positively, maybe plan something like a holiday or a weekend away with your mates. Even just an epic night out where you get to bump into lots of women You need something positive to break the circle of despair.
Author a.lyons1 Posted September 9, 2010 Author Posted September 9, 2010 Hi guys me again! After a week of NC, I get this email, " hey, how are you? This week has been manic, not sure where i'm at with prep for school. Hope you're well. Still missing you xxxx" As you know if you read my stuff, I love this girl, but her low self esteem took a toil on rship and my love towards her. But, I just simply love her. I think she is reaching out, I did treat her bad the last 6months, but so did she towards me. I wanted space to sort me out and try to raise my confidence. Help? Shall I reply- thinking keeping it neutral and let her do the running?
Don Ho Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 Hi guys me again! After a week of NC, I get this email, " hey, how are you? This week has been manic, not sure where i'm at with prep for school. Hope you're well. Still missing you xxxx" Shall I reply- thinking keeping it neutral and let her do the running? You could reply in a day or two. Keep it neutral. Here's exactly what I would say: "I'm really good! I know, it's been a crazy week for me too. Hope you're well also. Thinking about you too!"
Author a.lyons1 Posted September 23, 2010 Author Posted September 23, 2010 Hi there. Well guys do not break NC ever. Last week the ex emailed me with hey there, miss you so much, can we sort things out? Are you seeing someone? I replied that ok we'll meet, I dont want to discuss our relationship over email and that I find it strange you ask me this. She agreed to meeting up a week later, but emailed me back with something along the lines she couldn't make it as she had a meeting in work. Since that I have really gone downhill. Not sleeping, not eating, loss of confidence. I did email her back with a positive message like no worries, take it easy, hope work is well. Just feel like **** and I want her to either want to see me and sort things out or just leave me alone. Any thoughts?
Don Ho Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 Hi there. Well guys do not break NC ever. Last week the ex emailed me with hey there, miss you so much, can we sort things out? Are you seeing someone? I replied that ok we'll meet, I dont want to discuss our relationship over email and that I find it strange you ask me this. She agreed to meeting up a week later, but emailed me back with something along the lines she couldn't make it as she had a meeting in work. Since that I have really gone downhill. Not sleeping, not eating, loss of confidence. I did email her back with a positive message like no worries, take it easy, hope work is well. Just feel like **** and I want her to either want to see me and sort things out or just leave me alone. Any thoughts? Bro, you're doing better. I totally understand why her contact sent you spinning, but you have to get a grip on your emotions. Sounds like you were a little defensive in your reply to her. So, she is missing you which is good, she may have just scared herself or even though she was honest in what she was saying, was testing a bit to see how you'd react and what you'd say. You have gone downhill? Bro, WTH? I understand it's upsetting, but at this point you should try not to let it effect you too much. Be careful what you say in your replies; it sounds like you're being too nice .... again. Get back to being busy like you were. Let HER contact you. Hang in there Bro.
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