LostInTurn Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 I think this may be one of my longer threads I've posted, so thank you for reading and helping. I'm going to explain a couple things and fast forward. It will make sense... So, prior to the breakup, my ex and I were fine. He told me he had no issues with the relationship, was happy as could be. I however, was pulling away a bit. I didn't want to go to his sister's baby shower, he invited me to a concert and I didn't go, I wasn't going home with him on weekends anymore, etc. We had spent time together that week and were fine. Everything was 'happy go lucky' with him. The day he took the 'break', I knew something was wrong. He told me he wanted a break. I didn't know what to say. The previous night he told me there were no issues. I asked if we could re group in a couple weeks, he said that wasn't long enough. I was upset, obviously. I could see in his eyes... he stopped at one point when we were talking and said... 'I just want...' and stopped himself and said he needed the break. So, the next day and over the weekend, I text and called. I was upset. He got frustrated with me and just ignored me. So I went NC. 1.5 weeks later, I cave and write him an email. I just had some things to say, I wasn't looking for a response. At this point, he was blocked and he knew that. However, he messaged me on Facebook. He told me I was a fool to think he didn't miss me. He missed running his fingers through my hair and my nose. He missed so much about what we had. However, he was upset because I had said things when we broke up. We emailed a bunch that day and he just got more frustrated. He said he would have called, but was mad now and it was my fault so he wouldn't call. So, I write his friend an email that next weekend. The email that yesterday I posted about that I couldn't open. All she said was she knew the break was going to happen when it did. So, I went NC after that weekend. About one week later I text and he answered me. He told me he wishes things could be different and the texts and calls aren't helping. We text, whatever. So, we haven't been in contact since this past Friday. I'm angry and sad. When I think about it. There were all these red flags that I chose to ignore. Three days before the 'break' he told me I was the one. That week we were going to dinner all lovey dovey. I feel like if I hadn't said what I said that night, this wouldn't have happened. But then I remind myself I wasn't happy all the time. There were days when I would look at him and think it wasn't what I wanted. I guess I'm angry because he ignores me. I'm angry because I didn't walk away when I wanted to walk away. I'm angry he wouldn't just shut me out. I'm angry he wouldn't call. I'm angry I allowed this to happen. I'm angry that I'm angry! Someone please say something to make me not freak out and email him...
PegNosePete Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 Don't email him, you will be angry with yourself if you do! There is really little point being angry. You need to just let it go and continue NC. The past is the past and you can't change it. Try never to have any regrets in life. As long as you do what you do for the right reasons at the time, then there is no reason for regrets. Sure I wish I'd never got married, but at the time it was the right thing to do, so I do not regret it. Try to look at it that way. You did what you did at the time based on how you felt at the time, not how you feel now.
Author LostInTurn Posted August 25, 2010 Author Posted August 25, 2010 I'm angry that everything was fine in his mind, but he did this. Then he tells his friends it was over (obviously I knew that, but... !) I guess over the past few days, when I look back (as we all do) and review what happened having had some time away we look at the situation. I recount everything in my mind. He wasn't unhappy. I was pulling away. Sh*t, I don't know why I'm angry and upset right now. I know how much that as*hole cared.
BiAxident Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 For what it's worth, I'm jealous of the fact that you're able to be angry. I look forward to that stage of my grieving. Still, you dont want to e-mail him, it will only serve to keep your wound open longer. [COLOR=#800080]http://tinychat.com/myrelationship[/COLOR]
USMCHokie Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 I'm angry that everything was fine in his mind, but he did this. Then he tells his friends it was over (obviously I knew that, but... !) This is the problem...you assumed everything is fine in his mind...how the heck do you know what is going on in his head? I went through the same anger stages as you after my breakup...and let me tell you something...he cared...but the relationship wasn't working for him...just because he decided it was time to end your time together doesn't mean he didn't care about you or your time together... But in the end, you won't be able to get over this until you're willing to get over it...and I don't think you're quite at that point yet...just maintain NC, don't call, text, or email him, and let time do its magic...
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