nokturn Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 How would you react? What would you say to them? What would you want them to see? I have this 'scene' in my head that keeps repeating over and over. I'm not necessarily saying that I'm hopeful of getting back together, but it's kinda fun to think about. I picture her calling me up to ask if we could talk -- possibly meet and talk in person. Finally we're face to face and she starts going on and on about how she messed up and really regrets her decision. Then asks if I'm seeing anyone. I answer, but I'm very vague about it, not giving her too much information. "I'm just having fun and keeping my options open", I said -- and showing that I happier with my life than ever. Eventually she reveals how much she missed me and ultimately wants to get back together. Then I say something like "I thought this was what you wanted.. I'm sorry but it's much too late now, and I respect myself enough to not put me through this again." Finally we end our meeting, and say our final goodbye. I leave with a sense of relief while she does with a newfound respect for me. Again this is just a little 'scene' I've made up in my head. For all I know, it might all go down completely differently IF the situation ever became real. For me, I feel like it's helping a little with my moving on and healing. Not sure if it's that way for all you others out there. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has this little 'scene' made up in my head. So let's see yours!
PegNosePete Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 (edited) I have to admit my little fantasy scene is exactly the same as yours. I think it's quite a healthy one that shoes we are moving on Another one I have is that she comes round, she says losing me was the worst mistake she ever made, we have wild sex for a couple of hours and then I say oh sorry it was just sex I don't want you back, BYE BYE. That one is maybe not so healthy but it is fun to imagine Edited August 25, 2010 by PegNosePete
LostInTurn Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 I've thought about that... I couldn't. I don't even know if I love this person anymore. When I think about how upset and sad I was / am. Where was he? Not helping me. I don't think there are enough good things he could say to get me back, ever in a lifetime. He crushed me, was all over the map, still is and I'm still dealing with it. Not ok. I'd probably listen to him because I'm nice. But I would probably walk away and not say anything.
YellowShark Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 I am still in love with "who I thought she was," not "who she really is." So I do fantasize about being back with "who I thought she was," but I don't want the emotional and financial VAMPIRE she really is. She cheated on me twice, hid it, denied it, and lied about it. Once a cheater not always a cheater... twice a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater. I don't want a cheater back who will only break my heart again.
Nappeal Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 I find I do this...romanticize that either he comes crawling back and/or that I tell him its too late. I try so very hard not to do that tho since I think its keeps my mind back in a place where I think there's some form of some kind of hope, which none of us need. I have to remind myself when I think about those kinds of things that 'its over; it won't work; he'll never ask for forgiveness; he's probably forgotten your name' just so I will stop. IDK...I think its unhealthy to still remain that focused on one person and one situation that will never happen...I'm not giving all of me a fair chance to move on. I'm trying everything in the book to keep my hopes DOWN.
BeagleGal Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 IF my ex ever came back (and he better not have the nerve to even try), the mature side of me would be like you, nokturn, calmly and matter-of-factly telling him that I've moved on, its too late and bye. The angry, scrappy side of me would spit in his face, drop kick him in the testes and get the beagle to sh*t on him. But then again, he should be so lucky if I even acknowledge his existence. After what he's done, he doesn't deserve to even think about me. And like you Yellow Shark, unfortunately I still love/care/miss for who I thought he was, not who he really is. That's the sucky part to all this. That I still have this illusion of the person I thought he was.
Ingenue Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 I used to entertain all of these revenge scenarios that involved me living a gloriously satisfying life and my ex grovelling back to me. Often, I'd be telling him to hit the road while I had a new boyfriend in hand. The opportunity did present itself to me. Six months after he dumped me by email (after 5 years together!), he came back and beat around the bush. He complained about his current girlfriend, telling me I was still attractive, asked me whether I was dating others. He never came out to say that he wanted me back, but the conversation seemed to suggest it. I ended up just beating around the bush as well and stating very generally about guys I was dating. He was already miserable. Why add to it. When I used to dream of the moment, I thought I'd derive so much satisfaction from it. Here was my ex, who treated me so poorly, complaining about the woman he cheated on me with. Instead, I just felt a type of nothingness and pity because I realized the person I was speaking to wasn't the person I fell in love with. He was just this pathetic person on the other end of the phone who I felt a complete disconnect with. I had changed and he wasn't ever going to be a part of my life as a friend. Revenge scenarios are always so much more entertaining in our heads.
lostandhurt Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 wow I had that scene play out in my mind even once got so caught in the scene thought it was real....then reality set in and the truth about the man I walked away from surfaced and I sometimes think why was I a character in that movie for so long....I wish I could say I moved on and I am happy but the sad part is I moved on from him but have not picked up with anyone else because of fear...I would really enjoy being able to play out the end of your scene though
PegNosePete Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 I am still in love with "who I thought she was," not "who she really is." So I do fantasize about being back with "who I thought she was," but I don't want the emotional and financial VAMPIRE she really is. Yes! Never was a more true word spoken
silic0ntoad Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 If she ever came back i'd simply say: "You said goodbye. Goodbye was and shall remain forever."
BiAxident Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 If she came back, and said that she made a terrible mistake again and wanted me back, it would take some convincing and a lot of long conversations -- but I cant say that I wouldn't take her back http://tinychat.com/myrelationship
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