It's not really a question of "why?" but more of "what do they look to achieve?"

[ALombard]

Hey LS'ers. It's been a while, sorry I've been really busy with work and I haven't had much time to come on here and post. Also, as it seems customary for some, when things start getting better you find you don't that much anymore.

 

Either way I just have to vent a little. The last few weeks since my last post have been great, minus a few bumps here and there. So here's my story thus far. The last time I posted I believe I had told my ex to "go f*ck herself" over something she did that struck me as disrespectful. To sum it up as easily as possible, she brought her new boyfriend to my house when she came to pick up our dog for the day. After that little occurence I was livid and just didn't really care about her anymore.

 

Fast forward a few days later. I'm living it up, being happy, and she calls me out of the blue. I was inclinded not to pick up but I wanted to see what she possibly could have wanted to say to me. The conversation was light, she apologized for what she did and all the things she said to me that day after I flipped out on her. I ended the conversation cooly. I just told her "ok" and hung up. Well a few days later she calls me again and wants to talk, so we do. A week later or so I get completely obliterated drunk with some friends, the girl I am dating at the moment got mad at me for being so drunk and left me by myself at home. Only thing I can say was that I was a little depressed, seeing as she was mad enough not to pick up my phone calls. Anyway, I end up e-mailing my ex. I woke up the next morning not knowing this. When I checked my e-mail that day I saw I had sent her an e-mail. After reading it I saw that it was nothing really that bad, I basically said that I still had feelings for her and that she needed to stop calling and texting me.

 

Few days later, like clockwork my ex calls again. Tells me she got the e-mail and then proceeds to keep talking to me. It totally blew me away that she could just not care. The e-mail was pretty vivid and clear, saying how even if I drunkenly called, texted, or e-mailed to just ignore them and not respond. So we fall back into talking and texting again, she even began calling me on weekends. Fast forward a week or two later and I once again send another drunken e-mail telling her to please just stop talking to me. I was being honest saying that I can go without calling her but if she calls me I am always inclined to pick up. Call it a weakness. Either way she calls me the next morning I don't pick up. She calls me again later, still I don't pick up. She texts me that night asking if I could please talk to her tomorrow because she wanted to talk to me. She says it's nothing bad. So I pick up the next day and we talk...a lot. I just tell her how I honestly feel, how I felt, how I understand my mistakes, and so on. She tells me she still has feelings for me and still thinks of me, then tells me I should make someone very happy.

 

I don't get it, she calls me. I never initiate contact. She has a boyfriend who has told her before that he would leave her if he found out she was talking to me, yet she still calls me. She has recently told me that I should go and visit her at work. But then somedays she will be cold and just bitchy. Also, she does that whole, "You're such a different person now and I believe you will make someone very happy one day" bull****.

 

So there, there is my vent.

 

My only question is what exactly is she trying to pull. I've sent her two e-mails in the last month telling her to just leave me alone. To not reply to my e-mails or bother calling me again. Yet she still does it. I've texted her countless times saying we should stop talking yet she continues to call me. The one time I stood my ground about it she actually became sad. She's doing all these things that make it seem like she wants something out of me but then says things that make me think different. What's her deal? It's frustrating and it bugs me.

 

PS. I told her again tonight that I believe it's time we leave eachother alone, no response seeing as it was late. Lets see what happens tomorrow.

[bboy]

She's a ALombardoholic and can't really get it out of her system. Looking for a quick fix.

[TaraMaiden]

After that little occurence I was livid and just didn't really care about her anymore.

No.... of course not.....

 

Fast forward a few days later. I'm living it up, being happy, and she calls me out of the blue. I was inclinded not to pick up but I wanted to see what she possibly could have wanted to say to me.

 

You nerk....

 

Well a few days later she calls me again and wants to talk, so we do

You're still a nerk.

 

....I end up e-mailing my ex. ....I basically said that I still had feelings for her and that she needed to stop calling and texting me.

Great! Fantastic! Well done you, that's the spirit!!!

 

 

 

Few days later, like clockwork my ex calls again. Tells me she got the e-mail and then proceeds to keep talking to me.

Ooops...spoke to soon. Back to nerk-mode...

 

. It totally blew me away that she could just not care. The e-mail was pretty vivid and clear, saying how even if I drunkenly called, texted, or e-mailed to just ignore them and not respond. So we fall back into talking and texting again, she even began calling me on weekends. Fast forward a week or two later and I once again send another drunken e-mail telling her to please just stop talking to me. I was being honest saying that I can go without calling her but if she calls me I am always inclined to pick up

Jeesh, you really have this nerk thing absolutely bang to rights, doncha?

 

Call it a weakness.

I can think of a better term...

 

Either way she calls me the next morning I don't pick up. She calls me again later, still I don't pick up. She texts me that night asking if I could please talk to her tomorrow because she wanted to talk to me. She says it's nothing bad. So I pick up the next day and we talk...a lot

.

Oh stop it now. You're just bragging....

 

I just tell her how I honestly feel, how I felt, how I understand my mistakes, and so on. She tells me she still has feelings for me and still thinks of me, then tells me I should make someone very happy.

How wonderfully generously kind and selfless of her. (Read 'Patronsing'.....)

 

I don't get it, she calls me. I never initiate contact. She has a boyfriend who has told her before that he would leave her if he found out she was talking to me, yet she still calls me.

 

Hang on a minute....let me guess..... could it maybe..... could it have anything to do, d'you think.... with the fact that -

YOU KEEP ANSWERING HER - ?!??!!?

 

 

 

So there, there is my vent.

Impressive....

 

My only question is what exactly is she trying to pull.

She wants you to keep talking to her because you are her soft place to fall, in her friend-zone and nicely tucked onto a back-burner, awaiting the next command.....

 

I've sent her two e-mails in the last month telling her to just leave me alone. To not reply to my e-mails or bother calling me again. Yet she still does it. I've texted her countless times saying we should stop talking yet she continues to call me.

 

Well, if you will keep replying, this is a nice, fine and dandy little vicious circle you've got spinning, there.... tell me, are you aiming to do this until retirement, at all? I'd buy a comfier chair if I were you....

 

The one time I stood my ground about it she actually became sad.

Aaaah. Bless.

 

She's doing all these things that make it seem like she wants something out of me but then says things that make me think different. What's her deal? It's frustrating and it bugs me.

Ok, read it again. Friend-zoned, soft place to fall, call me Ol' Reliable, breadcrumb-fed Nerk.

 

PS. I told her again tonight that I believe it's time we leave eachother alone, no response seeing as it was late. Lets see what happens tomorrow.

Doncha just love how well this NC stuff works?

Let us know what you guys end up talking about this time......

[kickintheaz]

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Albert Einstein, (attributed)

US (German-born) physicist (1879 - 1955) (I think this guy was actually a Genius!)

 

I used to be insane too.... but then I stopped calling/answering/calling/answering.....

 

funny, I feel better now..

[TaraMaiden]

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Albert Einstein, (attributed)

US (German-born) physicist (1879 - 1955) (I think this guy was actually a Genius!)

 

I used to be insane too.... but then I stopped calling/answering/calling/answering.....

 

funny, I feel better now..

 

Or Rita Mae Brown.....?

 

In any case, I think the point is well made.

 

I wrote a comic sketch, but you wrote the punchline.

Bravo......

[kickintheaz]

Or Rita Mae Brown.....?

 

In any case, I think the point is well made.

 

I wrote a comic sketch, but you wrote the punchline.

Bravo......

 

 

ah, Google, only as good as the idiots that use it.... but I bow to your wisdom!

 

I think either way, this OP and ALL OPS on this particular forum need to finally understand that regardless who said it, they are subject to it...

 

we've all been there and done that, and that, and that and that... its when ya stop doing 'that' and start doing 'this' that the light bulb moment happens....

 

and then ya can come back and post everything that was said to oneself on here during the dark times, but this time ya actually believe in it...

[kickintheaz]

OP

 

You need to go back to that question that is the heading of this thread..

 

and ask yourself those 2 questions about your behaviour....

 

just my $0.02

[ALombard]

Wow brutal. I deserved it though.

 

Ahywho... Yeah, haven't talked to her. It's been nice and quiet so I can't complain. I'm out of another dark time.

 

By the way Mikleb, the girl I'm somewhat dating...she hasn't left.

[kickintheaz]

Wow brutal. I deserved it though.

 

 

AL, you've been around here long enough to know that sometimes just sometimes (read that as ALL the time) sugar coating doesn't do it...

 

glad to hear your out the other side of the tunnel... make sure ya stay there though..

 

as to other girl.. +1 to Mickleb's sentiments..