Nappeal Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 X and I had our final understanding yesterday. I still have questions and all that blah blah blah, but more then anything, I got some form of closure. He took the time to let me down properly. I understand more clearly our breakup, and I'm feeling better. I feel as if I now I have an opportunity to move on, and I'm even thinking of guys from my past who I'd love to get back into touch w - but I know its because I feel lonely and left. Good thing, right? Yes, absolutely, but its bringing me down to think: If I feel as if I can get over it like this, what makes him any different? He is out having fun, messing around w other chicks, thinking 'Nappeal who?' Its really bringing me back to some sadness. It doesn't make me want to set into a depression or make myself think of him, but I guess it makes me question... If it could be easy like this (or feel it that way) for the dumpee, its GOT TO BE even easier for him, the dumper. Anyone else?
Buccaneer55 Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 I feel like it's always easier for the dumper, especially if they've already found somebody else. In some situations they won't even leave until they have found someone new, and that's why it isn't as hard on them.
Author Nappeal Posted August 25, 2010 Author Posted August 25, 2010 He's a man who LOVES women...he's disrespected me MANY times w other chicks even since we begun dating. The thing w him is that he has very little respect for women - maybe has a lot to do w why I'm here - and goes in and out of interest w them very quickly. He's a self admitted whore. I'm surprised we lasted as long as we did...go figure, he lost interest. LOL I guess I shouldn't be surprised why I'm going thru what I am! I wouldn't be at all surprised if I found out he was talking to other women even long before we broke up. I know itll sound totally sick, but that doesn't bother me because I know he used and left them. He's a serial womanizer who likes women until they start expecting things from him. He used to tell me 'every woman I've dated says I'm terrible in relationships'. I couldn't put my finger on why @ first, but dear Lord do I get it now. I honestly believe things were to a degree different between us, but @ the end of the day, the relationship wasn't fun anymore, so like w every other woman, he left. I think I'm not as crushed because I'm pregnant and have no choice but deal w him for basically ever-I will have to speak to and see him in the future. That's terribly bittersweet. Sorry went way off lol...of course its ALWAYS easier, but I mean like, I'm a little discouraged to think that if it's like this for me, he MUST be NOT thinking about me like deep down inside I wish he were.
BiAxident Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 Definately easy for the dumper. In my case, my XXGF was exchanging e-mails with guys she had met on match.com, while we were dating. Then she met one this past weekend and that was that. Seamless transition. [COLOR=#800080]http://tinychat.com/myrelationship[/COLOR]
I am a guy Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 This is hard, but I hope you figure out a solution bro.
spriggig Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 The dumper often makes the decision to dump long before "we have to talk" passes their lips. And, it was before the decision that the dumper got over the dumpee. They have a head start--sometimes years worth--that's all. My wife broke up with me in December of 2007 (according to her journal), she just didn't bother to tell me until January of this year.
You Go Girl Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 Naw. No easier for the dumper than the dumpee. Of course every situation and couple and individual is different. One of the two may step out, start a relationship, or go on a rebound, but the fact remains that both have to think through what they've been through, sort it out, and make peace with themselves. I suppose there are some that aren't cerebral enough to even bother thinking it through. I also suppose those are sometimes the dumpers, and sometimes the dumpees. It would be easier to start a new relationship in that case, certainly. Easy come, easy go type of thing. In the long run, the ones who think it through, recognize their own shortcomings, do something about those shortcomings, learn a few lessons, and make peace with themselves, are the ones who will end up ahead. That's the long run. Who cares about the short run if it's all rebounds? I become excited when I read the title of this thread. I never see a thread entitled that in here! What if we CAN finally, get over them! Whoo hoo! There's stages though nappeal. One day you may feel up and up, but there's no avoiding certain weaning and breaking the habit of them, etc. You still have to go through it.
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