WolfRouge Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 Hi, It's been about 2 months now and I still miss her like crazy. It's not even becoming less. If anything, it's more. I'm even crying as I type this. I just can't get her out of my head. I keep thinking about her voice, the way she looked at me, her smile, the way she held me. Everything! It's driving me insane and I just wish she would come back to me. I know that's not gonna happen though. If anyone has any advice, it would be great. I've tried keeping busy and going out and having fun to distract myself, but nothing seems to work. She's still constantly in my head.
Username37 Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 Hi, It's been about 2 months now and I still miss her like crazy. It's not even becoming less. If anything, it's more. I'm even crying as I type this. I just can't get her out of my head. I keep thinking about her voice, the way she looked at me, her smile, the way she held me. Everything! It's driving me insane and I just wish she would come back to me. I know that's not gonna happen though. If anyone has any advice, it would be great. I've tried keeping busy and going out and having fun to distract myself, but nothing seems to work. She's still constantly in my head. I know how you feel. Going out, having fun and once it's all over. You're alone and you don't have her to talk to about your awesome day. It's been 3 months broken up 2 months of NC and I miss everything. But we need to recover because we're not getting them back. My advice is keep getting busy. And learn something new, get your mind on something new. And LS or course
BiAxident Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 Im afraid there is no magic elixir. It will either take lots of time, based on how long the relationship was, or another girl who is her equal or superior. Other than that, exercise, keep busy, and keep posting on LS. If you want to talk about it, head over to the chatroom. http://tinychat.com/myrelationship
I am a guy Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 just remind yourself that you rule! Other girls would be lucky to have you! It's that simple, really.
Author WolfRouge Posted August 25, 2010 Author Posted August 25, 2010 Thanks for your replies. I tried the chat yesterday. It helped a bit... Was a laugh :-) I guess I'll try and find something new to learn. Maybe get back into Manga. Will keep me busy too. I_am_a_guy - I wish I could think that way, but it's difficult at the moment. Especially when I have self esteem issues.
LostInTurn Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 I think it's fair to say each of our egos and self-esteem have taken a huge hit. It made me sad when you said you were crying as you typed your post. I have been there. It does get easier. I know you don't see that right now, but you will. I promise. You need to remember you. I know right now it's all about her. You're a person too. You have emotions and you were also a part of the relationship. We lose sight of ourselves and who we are in the process. It took me two weeks to get up. It took me three weeks to not shower and put the same pajamas on. When I have an errand, I get in my car, but turn around and go home. Why? Because I'm not ready to face the world. I avoid super public places because I just don't want to be out. I'm not a big advocate of pushing yourself to go out and do things. I know many people are. I tried, I failed. I don't think that works for everyone.
Author WolfRouge Posted August 26, 2010 Author Posted August 26, 2010 I can relate to everything you said there. I refused to go out, but in the end my family and friends forced me. I didn't have a choice. Literally! But I still keep avoiding it. I only go somewhere if I'm forced. I hope you're right about it getting easier. I wish I didn't think about her all the time. It just hurts too much.
LostInTurn Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 I only go somewhere if I'm forced too. Its not easy. It gets easier. I try to push the thoughts out of my mind. I know it hurts, more than words. It won't stay that way. Remember you. Remember what's important to you. I'm sure something that's important to you is happiness. You need to be able to smile and laugh again. That will warm your heart. There are some days I get these terrible chest pains from all the stress. Each time I think 'this isn't ok'. Its not ok. We need to not be sick over this. We need to pick up the pieces. We lived through this. We will all be ok again!
blizzard Posted August 26, 2010 Posted August 26, 2010 I understand. I have been there too. 3 months NC now. It gets easier, but he still crosses my mind at least 10x a day. The urge to contact him is fading... Why contact him? He dumped me and hasn't bothered to contact me. I miss him though. Or the person that I thought he was. I always will. I only hope to find someone someday to love me as much as you loved yours ... and I loved mine. Stay busy. Reading has helped me. And never letting my mind stop long enough to truly wander to those dark places.
Author WolfRouge Posted August 27, 2010 Author Posted August 27, 2010 Well once again, I'm in tears. FFS! I try to push the thoughts out of my head, but they just keep coming back. It doesn't help that I've had problems with depression since I was a teenager, so my head really is in a dark place. blizzard, what do you read?
thrownaway Posted August 27, 2010 Posted August 27, 2010 How do we know if it is even love we feel for them? or Infatuation? Co-dependency? Isn't it just hard to make changes, purge old habits and start new ones? I wonder if they stay in our head because it's what is easiest to do in order to avoid the inevitable, that we have to move forward with new plans and goals. Seems as though re-planning and editing our goals would be comparable to starting a new business, which would be exhausting for anyone. Just some thoughts. I dunno, I am having a hard time letting go too. But it seems that at times I don't miss him, I am happy he is not holding me back anymore.... but then I get angry because I feel it's all his fault that we failed and that if he was just willing to be committed to therapy we could have made it. He had big-time anger issues, he was verbally & physically abusive. He is very smart, may be one of the smartest men I have dated. He could have done anything he wanted in his life, but he is a trade worker. His father was (and still is) an angry alcoholic. Mine is over and done with and we will never get back together, so I KNOW I have to move on.... and I get a little feeling inside telling me that I am holding on to the loser because I am afraid... of the future... the self-esteem issues from the abuse don't help either.
skydiveaddict Posted August 27, 2010 Posted August 27, 2010 Hi, It's been about 2 months now and I still miss her like crazy. It's not even becoming less. If anything, it's more. I'm even crying as I type this. I just can't get her out of my head. I keep thinking about her voice, the way she looked at me, her smile, the way she held me. Everything! It's driving me insane and I just wish she would come back to me. I know that's not gonna happen though. If anyone has any advice, it would be great. I've tried keeping busy and going out and having fun to distract myself, but nothing seems to work. She's still constantly in my head. I dont think there is anything you can do about it. Just dont make the same mistake twice. Never let yourself fall for someone again. It simply isnt worth it
LostInTurn Posted August 27, 2010 Posted August 27, 2010 I dont think there is anything you can do about it. Just dont make the same mistake twice. Never let yourself fall for someone again. It simply isnt worth it And today, I would agree with you. I want nothing to do with anyone.
Author WolfRouge Posted August 27, 2010 Author Posted August 27, 2010 I have to agree. The pain is just too much... No way will I let myself be put through this again.
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