museumchick Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 I dated a guy back in 2008. He lived in another state and traveled here on business. We only went out 3 times and that was it. He emailed me a year and a half later to tell me he was moving to my city and hadn't forgotten about me. We met for a drink. The chemistry was unreal. The drink led to dinner and another drink. We went on a few dates and I was blown away by what he remembered from when we first dated---things I couldn't believe I told him. We went out for about a month before he decided that he "wanted to keep it casual" so he could "get a social circle together before he thinks of his romatic life." I agreed that we could be casual even though I was crushed. I never heard from him again. That was a year ago. Fast forward to 3 weeks ago... I saw him on the train. He saw me get on--I walked past him and I didn't realize until I sat 2 rows back that it was him. He was rubbing his temples and shaking his head. So I got up and walked over. He chuckled and I said "anyone sitting here? as I sat down next to him. He thanked me for coming over (I guess he was feeling guilty and wouldn't have approached me?), looked at me "that way" and complimented me on my hair, etc. He put his leg against mine for the duration of the ride. We made small talk until his stop and he thanked me again for coming over. He was like"no-really. Thank you for coming over." Now I can't stop thinking about him. Dreaming about him. I would love to be with him. I know he's single--he's checked out my profile on an online dating site we're both on--and I am dying to reach out, but I feel like I opened the door for him by approaching him and it's his turn. Should I reach out?
Don Ho Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 NO!! Unless of course you want to feel and look like a fool. Let him come to you and if he doesn't, then he doesn't. Sounds like he's a bit of a flake, not that into you or a player. Doesn't really matter, do not contact.
boltsfan17 Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 Don't reach out to him. If he was really interested, he would have reached out to you. This guy sounds like a player. I honestly wouldn't waste my time with him.
bboy Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 Think strongly about what didn't work the last time you met. Have any of these signals changed?
Author museumchick Posted August 25, 2010 Author Posted August 25, 2010 Thanks--i needed someone to slap some sense into me. He knows how to find me. I guess I was just thinking "if I don't do it, then I'll never know,maybe he's scared," but his not reaching out is answer enough.
Don Ho Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 (edited) You needed a slap? Well ok! LOL. Seriously, you have to look at reality. If he's not contacting you, he's not that interested. Sorry. Do not use "he's scared" as an excuse to break NC. Edited August 26, 2010 by Don Ho
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