Don't know :(

[Hopelesslyforgotten]

Hi everyone,

 

Thanks for taking the time to read this...i'm in need of some advice right now...my bf and I just recently broke up (i'm taking 2 days ago recent). We just became long distance about a month ago, when he moved out of state for a job back to his hometown to save some money and eventually (what he promised) was to move back down to where I lived and move in together. We were VERY serious...marriage, kids talk...the whole thing. Our relationship was wonderful, I have never been more happy with a person.

 

The only reason why I said yes to long distance was because he promised that he was going to move back to me. There was no set time frame...and I am horrible at long distance...so of course the unknown time frame lead to us arguing about the situation...a lot!

 

So two days ago, I asked if he still wanted to move down...and he said it was a possibility...which threw me off guard because the whole time I thought we had this plan that he was definitely moving back. He eventually told me that he didn't know if he liked the idea of living in the state that I am in (which is where we met)...but even though he didn't like the state he would maybe still move back because of me. So I asked him then what was the point of continuing long distance if he was going to be so unhappy living here. At that point i even said I would move up there, and he said it wouldn't work because I would be so unhappy. We ended up breaking up.

 

I have not contacted him, nor has he contacted me. This hurts so bad, I just don't know what to do because I know I should give time to reevaluate how he feels and if he even misses me. He's so busy and I don't think he has really sat down and thought about it, while I am sitting here constantly dwelling over the situation...dragging myself into a deep depression. When it comes down to it, I don't want to loose him...

 

I just don't know what to do. Do I continue with NC? Should I try to contact him again?

 

Thanks so much in advance for your thoughts.

 

Jen

Edited August 24, 2010 by Hopelesslyforgotten

[angie44]

Hi,

I am so sorry that you are in this awful situation, it must be really hard for you.

Did you actually break up with a no contact agreement? Maybe he thinks you dont want to contact him? and vice versa?

 

Its a very difficult situation, as he is not happy where you live and thinks you will not be happy where he lives! but how will you know unless you try?

Is it just a distnace thing, or is there something else underlying, distance issues can always be worked around if both parties love and want to be with each other.

Try not to dwell on all of this too much as it is obviously making you ill, and that will make you even more emotional so you wont be thinking clearly.

Perhaps you could give him a call to ask how he is ?

Angie

[Hopelesslyforgotten]

Thanks so much for replying!! You are a sweetheart!

 

I actually did break the NC rule...and he seemed shocked to hear from me...so I definitely think he thought I didn't want to talk to him. We talked for a little bit, and he said that he needed some time to think with a clear head to figure out what we can do...so i'm hoping that is a good thing.

 

I'm giving him his time, but I did send him a text this morning just saying that I hope he had a good day...and he responded the same.

 

Really the only thing is distance, we are so happy when we are together, that's what sooooo frustrating about this situation. I'm just worried that the 'out of sight, out of mind' theory doesn't come into play here .