gh219 Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 [FONT=Tahoma][sIZE=2][COLOR=#000000]I am a woman and I got with a girl behind her boyfriends back and she left him to be with me at first it was perfect and she told me she loved me and it was genuinely amazing, I had never felt like this with someone before. We then had quite a stressfull time and we were apart a lot and seperately under a lot of stress with work. I had previously had bad relationships and i let this effect us and ended up pushing her away, which i have regretted since, she split up with me and said i was a drunken mistake and she never really loved me among some other hurtful things when being defensive which i dont believe but still affected me quite badly. we had been good friends for a long time before anything happened so i was shocked how she treated me after. It was my fault but she wouldnt talk to me and the day after we split up we went on holiday with friends and had to share a room, needless to say it went downhill fast and she wanted to be nowhere near me. She has since told me she wants to be with men and has been which i did react badly to as from the things she said when we were together this didnt make sense to me. She is however a very head strong person and would hate to be confused. 2 months have passed and she is now back with her ex boyfriend of 2 and a half years and her best friend but she has never told him that she cheated on him with me and thats why they really split up, as she would loose her family, friends and bf as she sees it and she says she is ashamed but would rather never say anything. I have no intention of telling him as it isnt my place to and if she is like that and can do that to someone who is meant to mean everything to her I'm relieved we have broken up. I do however have to see her in two weeks as we have another day with friends and her parents I know i will still want her, i was happy before anything happened and she just made me feel more alive, and i still think about her everyday. since finding out i have wished her all the best and been kind and civil but inside im very stressed and need some advice on how to cope with being around her and probably hearing about her boyfriend. we have mutual best friends so she will be in the background either way. She isnt a nasty person, and this isnt really about her. I have accepted we will never be together, she just went through a bit of confusion and didnt deal with things in the best way so i do want to remain friends as we were that for a lot longer and i dont want to loose this,although she is moving away from where we currently live and we arnt really talking at the moment either. She is always civil and replies back and told me before i found out from someone else she was back with her boyfriend but i dont think she wants to keep in contact. Any advice on how to stop thinking and wanting her, and how to be with her so its just a peaceful situation where we can rebuild a friendship, it may or may not work but id like to try. I exercise everyday and work all day and socialise so I am busy, but she is still in my mind, and I just want to get my old, content self back. I am still ambitious and have motivation, but this has only been back a very short while after being very low and lost.[/COLOR][/sIZE][/FONT]
Don Ho Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 I don't think it matters much if you're both women and she went back to a man. Fact is she went back to the relationship she wanted to be in, right or wrong in your mind. Just do your best to move on and don't make any waves for her. Yes it hurts, but stay busy as you're doing. Good luck!
Author gh219 Posted August 24, 2010 Author Posted August 24, 2010 ok thankyou. You are right she did go back to that yes but it does make a big difference that we were two women, its a lot more difficult to accept for some people.
Don Ho Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 I'm just saying that the fact that your both women or that it's a man and a woman makes much difference as far as the relationship dynamic. A relationship is a relationship and, unfortunately, she chose to be with someone else. As a good person, I would hope you would not make waves with her friends and family about your relationship and her orientation. And, all the same, you feel all the pain, anguish and despair that everyone feels when a relationship ends. I don't know that being friends in the future is in the cards. Best to move on.
Author gh219 Posted August 24, 2010 Author Posted August 24, 2010 I have no intention of ever making any problems for her. What makes you say we will never be friends?
Don Ho Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 I think it's difficult to be friends with any Ex. Plus the two of you had a relationship (two women) and that might make it more difficult for her to become friends with you again. I don't think you should hold on to the hope that you can be friends and just move forward with your life.
Author gh219 Posted August 25, 2010 Author Posted August 25, 2010 I'm friends with all my exs and most are women, who are in no one 'box'. I'm not hoping for anything will just see how it goes, we have both said we want to be and it may fizzle out naturally or be how it was..no one knows the future. Thankyou for your advice:)
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