new wife Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 Lying was an issue in our relationship before (we have been together for 6 years) but when he proposed to me he promised all of that was done.... well it happened again 1month before we got married and again yesterday (the last day of our honeymoon).... it is ALWAYS stupid dumb things..... things he says happens because he "didn;t want to hurt me" or "he just wasn;t thinking".... the problem is that he is a bad liar and i can tell right away... I tell him i know thats not true... and then he lies on top of lies.... and keeps going until i am in tears because he is lying to my face knowing that i know.... he has not and would not cheat... i trust him with that... but i have told him that the problem with lies is that through the very nature of them, how do you ever knwo they are done or that he has stopped???? what if he gets better and i can;t tell anymore? Bottom line, he knew this was a deal breaker for me from the beginning.... now we are married, i meant my vows... and do not want to leave without giving it everything i've got..... I am at my wits end and so sad! if he will do it on our honeymoon then how will it ever end! He is always so sad and so sorry afterwards.... but i dont know what to do!!!!!! HELP ME!
You Go Girl Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 Assuming your H doesn't have a dissociative disorder such as compulsive lying (without logical reason), we are going to need to know what he is lying about. If he's sane, he's lying about something that he perceives that the two of you don't agree on. That would mean trying to make himself happy, and you happy, simulateously, on the lying issue(s), but failing to successfully pull the wool over your eyes. So what is he lying about? We need more insight into his particular quirks. The devil is in the details here, so we do need to know.
Mme. Chaucer Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 Yes, please share the nature of the lies. Regardless, though, you already knew before you married that he had not quit lying. You chose to marry a liar. That would be a tough situation. Probably counseling could help, unless you want to choose to accept lying or to leave him.
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