PrettyPoppy Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 (edited) It's sort of the weird dread I've been noticing on these boards. The fear that the X former relationship will move into an eternal silence. There is something really harsh about coping with that. It admittedly invokes fear, yet it is a real possibility. I'm interested in those who have stayed NC for a bit of time with nary an attempt by the X to make contact. How did you work with your feelings adjusting/accepting reality? Did you eventually cave and contact or did you just move on? Edited August 24, 2010 by PrettyPoppy further clarity
USMCHokie Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 Went NC for almost a year...didn't hear a peep from her...finally caved and sent a short email wishing her a happy birthday...exchanged a few emails that day updating each other on our lives...nothing since then...recently discovered that she is happily dating another guy now...I'm happy for her...and I think I've finally moved on and don't intend on talking to her again... Time will heal your wounds and alleviate that "fear" you have of eternal silence...certain relationships in your life will only last for a certain period of time...after those relationships end, it is up to you to pick yourself up and find new relationships with new people...it's just the way life works... It certainly is harsh, as you say, to accept that someone who is once such a huge part of your life will soon fade away into obscurity...it's something I still can't quite fathom myself, and it makes me feel a little sad to let go of someone, even if I had only been casually dating them for a few weeks and things just didn't work out...but like I said before, people will come and go in your life...whether they are acquaintances, friends, or lovers...but with each person that goes, rest assured that there will be someone new to come...
Username37 Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 I'm in that situation. I'm afraid that NC pushed them away forever.
Beeotch Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 (edited) It hasn't happened.... The longest NC was a year, and he did come back into my life to explain things. We emailed back and forth for a while (I was over him and had just broken up with my most recent ex). He called....then I didn't hear from him for a year. It didn't bother me though. This year we emailed back and forth again for a while, and now it's been a while since we haven't. Still doesn't bother me. I think once you really do heal from that relationship, it doesn't become a big deal. The person kind of becomes someone whom if you talk to them, cool...but if not, cool too. Just like some associates I have. I don't call them or talk to them often, but if we run across each other we're cordial. All my exes, except the most recent, we aren't bffs, we don't talk often but we're cool enough to talk occasionally or see each other and be cool. But I don't expect or care if we're actual "friends". I think once you're over that person the friendship wish becomes overrated and fades away.... So yea...the fear goes away into indifference after a while. Although, if things ended badly, I personally for my peace of mind would reach out to bury the hatchet (once Im over it) so that I won't feel awkward that there is some dude out there whom if I saw, we'd have to avoid each other or some other awkward thing. Edited August 24, 2010 by Beeotch
bboy Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 About a year is the limit for me too. Then in some sort of way there is a reconnection. Usually a birthday or a major holiday with some wishes and then some sort of communication. The last one, I though expect, is gone forever.
Eeyore79 Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 The last ex I was in love with stopped contacting me, although he would reply if I contacted him. After doing that for over a year, I simply stopped contacting him because it was too painful hanging on for a reply which was inevitably unsatisfying. It's been 7 months since I went NC and he hasn't contacted me at all, which I guess demonstrates that he doesn't really want to talk to me. When it comes to exes who I've dumped, a good few of them have gone NC. I'd have liked to remain friends, but I don't want to cause them additional pain, so if NC is easier for them then I respect that. So when my significant ex doesn't contact me, I wonder if he feels the same way about me as I do about the guys I dumped - i.e. he doesn't love me, but he regrets causing me pain and doesn't want to hurt me further, so he's just letting me go.
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