DandyBears Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 (edited) I was wondering if someone can help me with my situation. This will devastate him for sure and but I can't take it anymore. Within next month from now will mark down our 1st year but don't think I was ever in love with him. He was really a rebound as I was trying to get over my true love (let's call him M) and we were each others' first as well as childhood friends. To my surprise he called me out of the blues and from then on those sparks came back alive once again. I always loved him and he feels the same too. We couldn't stay together for reasons I don't want to share because it's a very long story. I never got over him. I tried to call if off the wedding but everyone kept telling me to go along with it and things like how can you do this to him. Anyways I really want to be with M and not my husband. I don't know how to break this news without completely tearing him to pieces. He's really a nice, sweet man but I don't love him. Is there a cop-out of this? A less painful way to tell him? Edited August 24, 2010 by DandyBears
Lacuna Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 It is incredibly difficult to go through what you are going through but you are being very unfair to your husband to not just be honest and cut ties, now. You made a mistake. Yes, it's a terrible, heart-breaking thing. But, he deserves a chance to be happy, and so do you. This is not about "M". This is about you and your husband. If it's not right, let him go so he can find someone who does love him.
aerogurl87 Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 Cut him loose now before he invests more time into what will be a losing battle to win your heart. You don't love him, you love "M", so cut ties with your hubby (please do not have an affair) and then see if those feelings for M are still there. If they are, go back to him if you want, that is AFTER you're divorced.
Author DandyBears Posted August 24, 2010 Author Posted August 24, 2010 What a mess I gotten myself into!! I was trying to figure out the less painful way of asking him for a divorce but the truth have to be told even if that means deeply hurting him and his family hating me forever. aerogurl those feelings for M (and vice-versa) has always been there and still are. I got to get this done ASAP.
aerogurl87 Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 What a mess I gotten myself into!! I was trying to figure out the less painful way of asking him for a divorce but the truth have to be told even if that means deeply hurting him and his family hating me forever. aerogurl those feelings for M (and vice-versa) has always been there and still are. I got to get this done ASAP. Well better to get it over now than later. I'm not going to condemn you for still being in love with your ex and marrying your hubby as lots of people do this unfortunately. I was in a relationship with my most recent ex where this was a major issue. I didn't love him, he was a rebound and at the time my heart was still with my ex despite our horrible history together. He could've went through hell and high water for me, but it wouldn't have phased me one bit. Luckily that relationship came to an end. Anyway to get back on track, not many people have the guts to confront their partner about a truth like this, which leads to resentment for the most part. It takes courage to tell your partner that you don't want to be with them because you're still in love with your ex. Yes it will hurt him, but staying and being miserable will hurt even more and you both deserve to be happy. So if you go through with it I actually commend you for being honest with him and good luck.
Chrome Barracuda Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 Holding on to exes are F=ing stupid. This woman basically married a man and now she wants to divorce him, because she still has feelings for her ex? wtf, who does this. U know saying no when he proposed would have been the ideal. Would have ended all this nonsense. Let me guess your going back to your ex with open arms, think its gonna be forever. Marry him? lets see how long it lasts...again.
Mme. Chaucer Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 Do you have kids? Hope not. Though it will be very painful, you have been married for only one year and your husband will recover from your betrayal. If you do have kids, it will be more complicated and it will go on and on. Do you believe that you and your ex are going to be able to live happily ever after? Why not give us the short version of why you and he did not embark on this path in the first place?
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