Meaplus3 Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 How does one cope with beign used by someone?? Mea:confused:
xpaperxcutx Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 Who's using you? I'll beat them up for you.
Author Meaplus3 Posted August 24, 2010 Author Posted August 24, 2010 Who's using you? I'll beat them up for you. No need for drastic measures. Oh... I'm afraid to say it's a very old friend of mine. I believe I need to cut the person out of my life for good, but that's tough to do. Mea:confused:
PegNosePete Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 It would depend on the situation, you'll have to give us more info!
Author Meaplus3 Posted August 30, 2010 Author Posted August 30, 2010 Wow!! I really did allow myself to be used here. I swear I have hurt me and use me stamped on my darn forehead. Ugh!! Mea
skydiveaddict Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 Wow!! I really did allow myself to be used here. I swear I have hurt me and use me stamped on my darn forehead. Ugh!! Mea It's simple Mea. You trusted someone and you got used, Dont trust people anymore and you wont get used like that. I dont trust anyone anymore.
Author Meaplus3 Posted August 30, 2010 Author Posted August 30, 2010 It's simple Mea. You trusted someone and you got used, Dont trust people anymore and you wont get used like that. I dont trust anyone anymore. Then what a sad world we live in Sky if we can't trust others? I don't like to feel as though I can't trust. And this hurt came from a person I have known for years. Guess I did not know the person that well. Mea
skydiveaddict Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 (edited) Then what a sad world we live in Sky if we can't trust others? I don't like to feel as though I can't trust. And this hurt came from a person I have known for years. Guess I did not know the person that well. Mea Exactly, well put. You knew this person for years, presumably a "good friend". And look what happened. You got betrayed. You are right , it is sad, but true anyway. You simply cant trust people anymore. It isnt worth it. I'll make one exception, you CAN trust the guys in your squad in battle. But that's only because each man's survival depends on all the others. Edited August 30, 2010 by skydiveaddict
Author Meaplus3 Posted August 30, 2010 Author Posted August 30, 2010 Exactly, well put. You knew this person for years, presumably a "good friend". And look what happened. You got betrayed. You are right , it is sad, but true anyway. You simply cant trust people anymore. It isnt worth it. I'll make one exception, you CAN trust the guys in your squad in battle. But that's only because each man's survival depends on all the others. Then how can I trust anything your saying? JK. I see your point.. But not trusting sucks. And when you put your heart in it... Even more so. Mea
skydiveaddict Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 Then how can I trust anything your saying? JK. I see your point.. But not trusting sucks. And when you put your heart in it... Even more so. Mea Because we are disinterested third parties just tossing out opinions. there is no trust involved. I dont know you and you dont know me.
2sunny Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 trust is earned - just as respect is also earned. IF you don't want to be used - you need to get a solid boundary. stick to it. learn to say no! trust your gut when you feel triggered that something isn't balanced... look out for your best interest - cuz no one does that for you. hold your best interest as your top priority - then lean in with the love and compassion knowing that your boundary will keep you happy, healthy and safe! was this the MM neighbor that got to you again?
Thorgs Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 I have found that nice people get used all too often. That's why I am very careful now because I'm tired of being used. It's so draining and depressing. Slowly work them out of your life and you'll feel a lot better for it.
skydiveaddict Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 So then trust equates to risk. No risk = no reward. True, but it's like gambling, if you never win at blackjack you stop playing because the risk outweighs the possible gain. So it is with me and relationships. They never work for me, so I dont try anymore.
Thorgs Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 True, but it's like gambling, if you never win at blackjack you stop playing because the risk outweighs the possible gain. So it is with me and relationships. They never work for me, so I dont try anymore. No need to try and force something. If it happens naturally then it'll be better in the long run.
skydiveaddict Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 trust is earned - just as respect is also earned. was this the MM neighbor that got to you again? Trust is never earned. Like biaxident said so well, it is a risk you take, Respect can be earned. but never trust. As for the MM neighbor comment, I dont know what you are referring to.
Author Meaplus3 Posted August 30, 2010 Author Posted August 30, 2010 So then trust equates to risk. No risk = no reward. Ok.. makes sense. Guess in my situation I knew there was a risk of getting hurt here.. and also was very unclear of the reward. The laugh is to ease my pain. trust is earned - just as respect is also earned. IF you don't want to be used - you need to get a solid boundary. stick to it. learn to say no! trust your gut when you feel triggered that something isn't balanced... look out for your best interest - cuz no one does that for you. hold your best interest as your top priority - then lean in with the love and compassion knowing that your boundary will keep you happy, healthy and safe! was this the MM neighbor that got to you again? Not MM neighbor. That situation is LONG behind me. And yes, Stick to it is what I need. I fall short in sticking to things in life sometimes. This is when I can get into trouble. I need to go NO contact with this friend. Mea:)
TouchedByViolet Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 I cut out my best friend from college 2 years ago and it was probably the hardest thing I have ever done. He was part of my best times in school and he helped me out during my worst times... I always feel good thinking about those times. Still people must mature and life changes, can't allow someone to use you or mess up your life... IME with being used I always remind myself "it wasn't my fault". This is to reduce self destruction which is a very common after effect of being used, and allows for past pain to be brought into the present. Don't feel like you deserve being used or something is wrong with you to warrant this behavior. However, as adults we must maintain healthy boundaries and stand up for ourselves. The best thing you can do for yourself is not let yourself be a victim again. It's never too late to improve and learn. You will feel great about yourself.
JustJoe Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 Mea, you will trust many people in your life, we all do. Some of them will earn and appreciate your trust all of the time, some will part of the time and some will betray and use your trust for their own selfish considerations. The trick is, to learn which ones are which. This can only come with time and experience with those people. If I were you, cut that person out of your life and concentrate on those who deserve your trust. Don't take it to heart, we've all been there.
Author Meaplus3 Posted August 30, 2010 Author Posted August 30, 2010 can you explain what happened MP? Too much to get into! Mea, you will trust many people in your life, we all do. Some of them will earn and appreciate your trust all of the time, some will part of the time and some will betray and use your trust for their own selfish considerations. The trick is, to learn which ones are which. This can only come with time and experience with those people. If I were you, cut that person out of your life and concentrate on those who deserve your trust. Don't take it to heart, we've all been there. Right Joe. And now my BIG news... Drum roll please.... BYE.. BYE friend! Hehe.. hahaha. Deleted him from all forms of contact. No room for a meanie in my life. Pat's self on back now. But, realizes I will probably stew over this decesion for about 2 years.. LOL. Mea:)
freestyle Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 Hey girl........... I'm so sorry you're going through that..(((((((Mea))))))) It really is a crappy feeling, I've been through it myself. I'd rather get mugged by a stranger on the street than be betrayed by someone who I thought I could trust. I'm discovering as I get a little older, that toxic relationships , romantic or platonic, simply aren't worth the stress, and headaches they cause. If someone's making me lose sleep--(consistently)--then I don't need them in my life. My peace of mind is too valuable. Hope you feel better soon...........FS
Author Meaplus3 Posted August 30, 2010 Author Posted August 30, 2010 Hey girl........... I'm so sorry you're going through that..(((((((Mea))))))) It really is a crappy feeling, I've been through it myself. I'd rather get mugged by a stranger on the street than be betrayed by someone who I thought I could trust. I'm discovering as I get a little older, that toxic relationships , romantic or platonic, simply aren't worth the stress, and headaches they cause. If someone's making me lose sleep--(consistently)--then I don't need them in my life. My peace of mind is too valuable. Hope you feel better soon...........FS Right on free. Not worth the stress. Thanks. Mea:)
Author Meaplus3 Posted September 16, 2010 Author Posted September 16, 2010 Welll.. you all know me by now, I'm still having issues with this latest hurt. Gosh.. it's bugging. So go on now.. throw more stuff my way. Mea:)
2sunny Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 Welll.. you all know me by now, I'm still having issues with this latest hurt. Gosh.. it's bugging. So go on now.. throw more stuff my way. Mea:) how is it possible to have "issues" when you deleted him from any way of contact with you? what has happened?
Author Meaplus3 Posted September 20, 2010 Author Posted September 20, 2010 how is it possible to have "issues" when you deleted him from any way of contact with you? what has happened? We are STILL in contact! I AM WEAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mea:confused:
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