dextm Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 Anyone ever get back together after having a mutual breakup? Me and my then gf decided to have a mutual break up weeks ago, but after having time to think about what happened, it feels silly. It feels like we gave up on each other, rather than one person doing something horrible to the other person to cause a breakup. Even though it was mutual, I'm trying NC to the best of my ability (she works in same office so I can't avoid her 100%).The other day she came to my desk and asked me: "Why are you doing this to me? You treat me like I did something horrible to you." I had no reply. My question - is it normal for me to do NC even though the breakup, or give up, was mutual?
nittanylion Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 Relax and don't contact her. Let's her miss you and contact you. Give it at least 1 months and see what happen. GLTY!
Author dextm Posted August 24, 2010 Author Posted August 24, 2010 Relax and don't contact her. Let's her miss you and contact you. Give it at least 1 months and see what happen. GLTY! She messages me all the time saying "I miss you", "I know you care about me", "I know you need me", "We should hang out like old times", "I know you still want to be my friend". I'm a bit harsh sometimes and told her to cut the bull**** and stop playing games. Perhaps I should have responded differently?
nittanylion Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 She messages me all the time saying "I miss you", "I know you care about me", "I know you need me", "We should hang out like old times", "I know you still want to be my friend". I'm a bit harsh sometimes and told her to cut the bull**** and stop playing games. Perhaps I should have responded differently? Ignore her texts, and dont reply to her texts. Dont play her game, and fall for her bs. Dont be her friend. She is using you as emotional crutch, and a back-up plan in case she couldnt find anyone else. Don'st settle for 2nd best. You need to be strictly on NC, NC and NC.
Don Ho Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 I'm confused. You claim it's mutual, yet it sounds like she is the Dumpee and you're the Dumper by the way you present it. It's never mutual. Which is it?
Author dextm Posted August 24, 2010 Author Posted August 24, 2010 I'm confused. You claim it's mutual, yet it sounds like she is the Dumpee and you're the Dumper by the way you present it. It's never mutual. Which is it? I thought it would sound the opposite - that she is the dumper and I am the dumpee. The whole story if you feel like a long read here - http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t242769/ Cliff notes short version - we got into a stupid argument, she stormed off, I texted her demanding answers, she told me she wanted to take a one week break, I countered by asking: "Why not break up?" (if you don't want to work it out with me as a couple). We fought back and forth, talking about the past, and decided mutually it was best to break up and never get back together ever (unless she's 35 and still unmarried lol). She initiated the one week break, so does that make her the dumper? Or am I assuming/reading into things too much? If a girl wants a break, it means she's already thought of dumping you a loooong time ago already, but wants that week to make sure she's not making a mistake. Am I wrong to think this way? Why should I deal with one week of bullsht if I know what's coming and she don't want to work it out?
Author dextm Posted August 24, 2010 Author Posted August 24, 2010 (edited) I'm confused. You claim it's mutual, yet it sounds like she is the Dumpee and you're the Dumper by the way you present it. It's never mutual. Which is it? I thought it would sound the opposite - that she is the dumper and I am the dumpee. The whole story if you feel like a long read here - http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t242769/ Cliff notes short version - we got into a stupid argument, she stormed off, I texted her demanding answers, she told me she wanted to take a one week break, I countered by asking: "Why not break up?" (if you don't want to work it out with me as a couple). We fought back and forth, talking about the past, and decided mutually it was best to break up and never get back together ever (unless she's 35 and still unmarried lol). She initiated the one week break, so does that make her the dumper? Or am I assuming/reading into things too much? If a girl wants a break, it means she's already thought of dumping you a loooong time ago already, but wants that week to make sure she's not making a mistake. Am I wrong to think this way? Why should I deal with one week of bullsht if I know what's coming and she don't want to work it out? In fact, just 7-10 days prior to our "mutual" breakup, she frantically asked me to "Promise me we'll still be friends if we breakup one day" OUT OF THE BLUE. It was a definite WTF moment for me and a foreshadow of what was coming. Ignore her texts, and dont reply to her texts. Dont play her game, and fall for her bs. Dont be her friend. She is using you as emotional crutch, and a back-up plan in case she couldnt find anyone else. Don'st settle for 2nd best. You need to be strictly on NC, NC and NC. Will try my best to. I've already told her to her face (last Friday at the end of work when she confronted me) that she's needy and she took it hard. Today on IM I told her to cut the bull**** and stop playing games. But she can also see thru me and see that I have pain. It doesn't matter how manly and unfazed I try to act because this woman spent the last 7-8 months with me, knows me inside out and can see thru me. I can't just mask my emotions, even if I say hi/bye or glance at her inadvertently. And yes I know, it's the risk I took when I decided to enter a relationship with someone at work... Edited August 24, 2010 by dextm
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