Lost Fish Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 Gah! Just posting here to keep me from breaking NC. So it's day 23 after going No Contact on August 1st (going NC on the 1st makes it easy to keep track of the day, lol). The first week was REALLY hard. We used to talk every day. Then I went on vacation and when I got back she was weird, distant. I called her on it and she asked for a break. I said fine, then over the course of a week I asked her to define "break" and she couldn't. So I told her I was going to treat it like a "break up." I've made a ton of progress and even have been on a couple dates - I actually met this amazing girl and we are going out again this Thursday. But then this morning I left my IM on at work while I went to lunch. I just got back and had an IM from the ex that said "i miss you." I have her blocked, so I have no idea how the IM even got through. The funny thing is that I had assumed she met someone and moved on and I'd probably never hear from her again (this is probably due to my struggling self-esteem). But I should have known better. Of course she'd reach out after some time. The majority of the month of July was so tense and strained with her. I fought tooth and nail to try to keep things alive and probably looked pretty pathetic. Maybe now after 23 days of NC I'm finally getting my power back. I'm mainly posting here just to keep from wigging out and sending a flurry of communication to the ex. I was so excited this morning because things are really starting to turn around in my life, but even her just reaching out like this pulls me back a bit and makes my heart ache a bit again. Grr... Stay NC... stay NC... stay NC...
Drummergirl_23 Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 Stay NC!! Trust me, "I miss you" isn't the sort of "I miss you" you wanna hear. "I miss you" could mean "I miss your friendship or company". "I miss you" could also mean "I'm feeling low today and need the boost to my ego that you provide". What you really want to hear is "I miss you, I've made a huge mistake and I want to try and work things out because I love you". Those are the only words you should respond to if you truly want a second chance that is. If you are not over her and want to move on, trust me, don't respond. It won't do you any good but it will give her all the satisfaction in the world.
Author Lost Fish Posted August 23, 2010 Author Posted August 23, 2010 Ahh, Drummergirl thanks. That was just what I needed to hear. I have a second date with a fantastic refreshing new girl (who's quite attractive too, lol) this week and the last thing I want to do is screw that up by backsliding. I will DEFINITELY stay NC. It's sad because if she had tried to reach out maybe 10 days ago or so it might be a different story, lol. Her loss. Rawr.
whatadeer26 Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 Fish, she is just fishing for a ego boost. Don't respond anything. Her contacting you may sting in a few days, but you'll get over it. Remember do not say anything back to her. You'll be fine, we all will be fine. Her life has changed without you just as much as yours has.
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