L3stat Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 ok, so i have been doing the NC for 2days now and she had text me but i didnt respond cuz she said something stupid to me, but this morninig she called me and left me a long voice mail it wasnt about us or anything, and i guess you can say it sounded like tying up lose ends. the backround story is my gf of 2yrs broke up with me 3weeks ago and ofcourse i plead and tried to get her back and i think that push her away cuz shes been a real bitch to me, ignoring the calls and the texts and just being completely heartless....but i still love her, and i want to be with her so bad, and i know tomorrow tuesday and weds shes off and im almost certain that she will call and either i or her is gonna want to get together to "talk" i know im gonna get my hopes up cuz the scenerios are already running in my head, i know she told me that she does not love me and doesnt want to love me but shes dont this more times than i can count and we always got back together, i dont know what i should do..i am pretty sure that i am gonna see her, cuz im just that stupid but what can i do to like i dont know think about it making it work, again or something cuz i dont want to lose her.. im still tryying to help her out cuz of her voice mail she left me but i dont want her to reject me or tell me she doesnt want me...................................HELP
Don Ho Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 Bro. Back off! Getting her back is NEVER going to happen if you keep calling and texting her .... if it all. IMO, you NEVER meet a woman when she wants to "talk" in the way you're describing. She will be a biatch, says things you don't want to hear, will crush you and so on. If I told you "bro I want you to come over to my house so I can knock you in jaw", would you come over? She's not telling you she's gonna knock you in the jaw, but she might as well. DO NOT meet her this week. If she texts get back to her many hours later and say "I'm really busy this week, but next week is good". That's all you say!! If she does not contact you, DO NOT contact her about getting together. The ONLY time you MIGHT consider getting together with her is ONLY when she says "I made a big mistake, I miss you, can we get together and talk about us?"
LostInTurn Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 I agree. No texts, no calls. When they don't answer... forget it. Get the ball back in your court. You own this situation. If you want her back, think about it. She broke up with you. I was recently broken up with. I text, called, broke NC, BAM... the whole deal. I wish I hadn't. He makes me feel guilty for it. I feel like I need to ground myself and when he's over his upsets he'll call. No. Not happening. You need to look back at the relationship and think about it. If you're still invested, she'll know this. They always know. Don't give her more ammo against you. She'll then take her time in deciding what she wants to do. Don't see her. She doesn't deserve to see you. I agree with the other post. Only see if her she tells you she's sorry and wants to work things out. But think about that if / when it happens. For now, take out advice. No communication. It's ok to take a break for awhile... the world will not turn upside-down.
LostInTurn Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 she told me that she does not love me and doesnt want to love me I tried to get my ex to tell me this countless times. He wouldn't. If someone is telling you this, no way. Stop.
Author L3stat Posted August 23, 2010 Author Posted August 23, 2010 i know you guys/women are right i should just keep NC but its hard..i want her back so bad....i know the next 2days are gonna be tough, im almost certain that she will call and i might not pick up when she does call and then shes gonna send me a text with something along the lines " you ignoring me? fine have a nice life" and i swear on all thats holly im gonna come running, i dont know what to do here, she knows how to push my buttoms what to say to get me to come.... i do want her to say shes sorry and i do want her to come to me but i know her shes too stuborn and too prideful to even admit she was wrong or made a mistake the world would end before she admits wrong.....i dont want to lose her but at the same time i want her to come to me.
LostInTurn Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 i know you guys/women are right i should just keep NC but its hard..i want her back so bad....i know the next 2days are gonna be tough, im almost certain that she will call and i might not pick up when she does call and then shes gonna send me a text with something along the lines " you ignoring me? fine have a nice life" and i swear on all thats holly im gonna come running, i dont know what to do here, she knows how to push my buttoms what to say to get me to come.... i do want her to say shes sorry and i do want her to come to me but i know her shes too stuborn and too prideful to even admit she was wrong or made a mistake the world would end before she admits wrong.....i dont want to lose her but at the same time i want her to come to me. I still say no. I wanted my ex back. No calls, no texts. If she wants things to work out, she will let you know. I'm sure you both know how to upset one another. My ex said things that he cannot excuse himself for, I said things. Ex's can be mean. No matter what you say, they will twist it so you feel like a jerk. You don't need to feel any worse than you do already. They have a wonderful way of just making us seem like the 'mean, terrible' ones. No matter their actions, words. Don't answer your phone. They will realize in time. They always do. May not be when you would like to see it happen, but they do.
LostInTurn Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 FYI... I think my ex and myself both told one another to have a nice life. Why? Because we were angry. Let things sit.
skydiveaddict Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 lost in turn is correct. your just setting yourself up to get your heart smashed to bits, again. dont do it
Author L3stat Posted August 23, 2010 Author Posted August 23, 2010 aw man you guys are right, i have been down this road with her many times and i know i will get my heart stomp on again. i just cant believe how someone can go from being the sweetest person in world to being so heartless.. everything she has is because of me from the clothes she wears the car she drives and even the job she has, how could you be around that all day and not feel anything, thats what makes me upset the most i think..all i can say is im gonna do the best i can i know shes gonna test me really hard. she wants to talk about me taking over the phone plan that we are on together cuz she cant afford it...basically taking me off her phone plan.....cutting it off so i have no choice but to talk to her cuz alot of people have that number, but i know myself lol what can i do?
Don Ho Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 i know you guys/women are right i should just keep NC but its hard..i want her back so bad....i know the next 2days are gonna be tough, im almost certain that she will call and i might not pick up when she does call and then shes gonna send me a text with something along the lines " you ignoring me? fine have a nice life" and i swear on all thats holly im gonna come running, i dont know what to do here, she knows how to push my buttoms what to say to get me to come.... i do want her to say shes sorry and i do want her to come to me but i know her shes too stuborn and too prideful to even admit she was wrong or made a mistake the world would end before she admits wrong.....i dont want to lose her but at the same time i want her to come to me. Yes it is tough bro. And YOU WILL tough it out. If she calls, DO NOT answer. No matter what she texts, DO NOT reply. You're not a puppet. You can choose not to react and not to get back to her. DO NOT try to rationalize it or blame on the fact that she is "stubborn". The most stubborn woman will chase the guy she REALLY wants. It's human nature. If you don't want to lose her, then stay the fck away and do not contact and do not respond. If she contacts you, come here FIRST before you make any move.
Don Ho Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 What can you do?? NOT talk to her about the phone plan or anything. Let her shut it off, change your number, who gives a fck. Get your phone book downloaded out of that phone if you need to. Text your FRIENDS with your new number. Don't be lame and use that as an excuse.
Author L3stat Posted August 23, 2010 Author Posted August 23, 2010 thanks Don Ho it really helps out alot im gonna try really freaking hard not to cave in, but i do love her alot and shes knows that...its gonna be tough, i look at my phone every min hoping for some kind of sign, its really sad lol well this is my second bad break up, and the first one wasnt really love, it was complicated as fck, but this one im sure, but i know there is other bettter women, but right now i just dont want other women, i tried i went on a date with an x and i know she wants to be with me and cares about me which is fck up because i shoudnt be doing that to her and i had since said sorrry and told her what happen, but anyways the whole day just felt wrong, and dirty and every where i went reminded me of her and even when we had sex it felt so fck unsatisfying which was odd cuz my x lol boy let me tell u she knows her stuff, but i just felt sick to my stomach but god grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change and the courage to change the things i can the knowledge to know the difference
Don Ho Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 HUH?? Did you say you just slept with a different Ex?
LostInTurn Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 aw man you guys are right, i have been down this road with her many times and i know i will get my heart stomp on again. i just cant believe how someone can go from being the sweetest person in world to being so heartless.. everything she has is because of me from the clothes she wears the car she drives and even the job she has, how could you be around that all day and not feel anything, thats what makes me upset the most i think..all i can say is im gonna do the best i can i know shes gonna test me really hard. she wants to talk about me taking over the phone plan that we are on together cuz she cant afford it...basically taking me off her phone plan.....cutting it off so i have no choice but to talk to her cuz alot of people have that number, but i know myself lol what can i do? Listen, this is the worst case scenario right now, correct? Guess what, no! No contact! I cannot stress this enough! I just contacted my ex twice in three weeks. Mistake. That only shows you're still there. My ex used it against me. I am telling you from experience. They will twist it, as I said in an earlier response to you. Not answering the phone is the most difficult part. It gets easier. I had days where I was fine, then all of a sudden I was composing emails at midnight until day five of composing the stupid email and I sent it. That led to a response which led to h*ll. Get it? Now I hear 'if you hadn't done this', 'the texts and calls aren't helping the situation', 'if you didn't act like this things might be different'. Please, give me a break. Just save yourself the time and energy. People miss what they do not have. If you disappear from her life, she will eventually wonder. Look at me, I broke NC twice. We fought. Now he's ignoring me. I looked like a pathetic fool. But wait... where did I go? I loved him so much and all I wanted to do was talk. No more. Then the questions will set in, in his mind. Sh*t, she might actually be gone. Then he won't remember the upsets during the past three weeks, he'll remember what a doll I was while we dated and he'll start to think about it. No, too late. Do not let someone have this power over you. No contact. I'm serious. Take it from me. I know. Read my posts, gain some insight, observe the roller coaster I kept getting in line for the past three weeks. No one deserves, nor should they feel that way. Nor should they allow someone to let them feel that way.
Jeff M Stevens Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 This article I wrote should tell you everything you need to know my man. I wish you well. I hate to see good people in pain! Getting Your Ex Girlfriend To Want You Back - A Waste Of Time If your thoughts are bent towards getting your ex girlfriend to want you back, then please FORGET IT. I know that sounds harsh. I know you are hurting. I feel for you. On the dating women radio show that I co-host, we see good men go through bad break ups all the time. Sometimes they chose the wrong girl. Sometimes they treated the right one badly. Either way, you get one chance per woman, per lifetime. Please consider the following things. She WILL NOT forget Say you do get her back. Do you think she will not forget what broke you two up in the first place? It is now burned into her brain. The "high" of your previous relationship will never be the same. Generally women break up with us (or make it so obvious they want to break up that we are forced to break up with them) and they just never feel the same. Future Happiness Warning: She will never be as interested as she was. If you can put up with a woman that you do not have all of simply because you just cannot live without her, then go right ahead and try to get back with her. Just do not be surprised if you are always in 2nd position and/or she breaks up with you again because its just "not the same." Do you want to be the last man standing? Your relationship is over and now she is dating around. Finally, she realizes that you were the man for her after she kisses a number of frogs. Cue the sappy music. Roll the credits. A beautiful Hollywood ending, right? Yes, if you keep it in Hollywood only. This scenario does play out but here is what happens after the movie screen is dark. She does not want to be with you because either she was wrong for you or you lowered her feelings for her via your actions. You break up. She goes out and gets waxed in a number of relationships. You are still pining away for her and she does not want to be alone. Enter Mr. Reliable once again! Make no mistake, in this scenario, you are the best of a bad lot. Guys that accept this end up a decade into their marriage asking her "honey what is wrong," when she is in her 10th bad mood of the week (and it is only Tuesday). She would love to scream "I really cannot believe I ended up with you, is this really my life," but she just sulks. Again, it gets back to being with her without really having her. Once a break up occurs, it occurs for a reason (or many reasons). Can there be a situation where the woman was really in love with a guy that had a bad habit that he cleaned up and they got back together once he changed? Yes, that does happen. The woman was interested all the way through and was waiting for the man to change. Generally, though, the break up plays like this: Guy meets girl, they date, it is her idea to break up because he was either not the right guy to begin with, or he changed from the guy she fell in love with and then it is over. So, please stop pining away and find a girl that you can start fresh with or you will spend your life as a second class citizen just because you cannot forget your ex! Getting your ex girlfriend to want you back is not only a waste of time, but it is a waste of your life if you end up with her. Remember guys, you get one chance per girl, per lifetime.
Author L3stat Posted August 23, 2010 Author Posted August 23, 2010 yes i did have sleep with an ex but thats not the point man......the point is that it felt wrong i just looked at my phone just now and lord and behold a text from her, that says " shawn im not gonna pay the phone so you can use it to talk to other girls so by the end of the month it will off and you will be off my plan" WTF see this is her mind games she freaking check the call and the text records to see who i am talking to and i can almost say that she has been in my email/ bank account to to see activity now what the fck is up with that man, now im going crazy trying to firgure out what to say here i cant admit that im talking/going out with another girl which right now im not but i did, but it was a mistake **** i should of known better this is what she does to me.....but i didnt respond cuz i dont know what to say to her i dont know what proof she got....i wouldnt put it pass her to call the number and if she did and find out what i did man theres no chance in hell of her comming back....any ideas guys?
LostInTurn Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 yes i did have sleep with an ex but thats not the point man......the point is that it felt wrong i just looked at my phone just now and lord and behold a text from her, that says " shawn im not gonna pay the phone so you can use it to talk to other girls so by the end of the month it will off and you will be off my plan" WTF see this is her mind games she freaking check the call and the text records to see who i am talking to and i can almost say that she has been in my email/ bank account to to see activity now what the fck is up with that man, now im going crazy trying to firgure out what to say here i cant admit that im talking/going out with another girl which right now im not but i did, but it was a mistake **** i should of known better this is what she does to me.....but i didnt respond cuz i dont know what to say to her i dont know what proof she got....i wouldnt put it pass her to call the number and if she did and find out what i did man theres no chance in hell of her comming back....any ideas guys? Listen... When my ex broke up with me, he told me to find someone else. He found out I had a date, he hated me for it. He told me to! He left me! He made that decision! She left you. Her problem. She can deal with it. She created the situation. In my opinion, when people have loss in their lives, they react. It doesn't matter how they react, they react. Whether it be a date that is terrible (which it was in my case and probably most cases), things said out of anger, etc. These are reactions to hurt emotions. None of this matters. She told you she doesn't want to love you? That is unacceptable. I know you love her. I know you want it to work. I love / loved (who knows anymore) my ex, but seriously? I cannot forgive him for what he has put me through and takes absolutely no responsibility. I have cried for days, no appetite, no zest for life. It's not ok. You cannot blame yourself because someone left you feeling terrible and you reacted. Also, it's normal to feel like you need to be the one to make it all better. That's not reality. They do. Bottom line.
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