need some mingling support

[denise_xo]

OK, I'd like some help with this:

 

For several years, I've had to do mingling events as part of my work. I'm bad at it. I have no problem with work dinners or drinks or any other part of my social life, but I don't deal well with the mingle format where you constantly have to strike up conversation and fleet around and jump into other people's conversation at some suitable moment and then find the right moment to exit and move on etc. With one of my jobs, the crowd is usually quite hierarchically minded so you have to navigate people's feelings of superiority as well Now I have two mingles coming up shortly and I want to get better at it.

 

Advice anyone? I'd like practical tips for how to improve. It doesn't come natural

[Ruby Slippers]

I hate small talk and idle chit chat, but I force myself to do it when necessary.

 

One of the big secrets to socializing is to ask lots and lots of questions. Everybody's favorite subject is him/herself. Most people will talk about themselves for hours, and all you have to do is show genuine interest and continue asking questions.

 

To get involved in a conversation already going on, when there's a brief lull, laugh/smile and comment, then interject another question. Be the question engine. Help your conversation partner feel smart and important.

 

And a great book on this subject in general, which I am re-reading with a friend right now, is Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. The strategies he describes really do work like magic.

[Feelin Frisky]

Hi Denise. My advice would be to listen to Ruby Slippers. My imposing stature I think kinda scares people off. They don't like being diminished by my view of the tops of their heads. I need to be a CEO so I don't have to kiss @ss and everyone needs to kiss mine. Wish I could be more helpful.

[denise_xo]

I hate small talk and idle chit chat, but I force myself to do it when necessary.

 

One of the big secrets to socializing is to ask lots and lots of questions. Everybody's favorite subject is him/herself. Most people will talk about themselves for hours, and all you have to do is show genuine interest and continue asking questions.

 

To get involved in a conversation already going on, when there's a brief lull, laugh/smile and comment, then interject another question. Be the question engine. Help your conversation partner feel smart and important.

 

And a great book on this subject in general, which I am re-reading with a friend right now, is Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. The strategies he describes really do work like magic.

 

Good stuff, Ruby, thank you.

 

Exactly, the idle chat... I do work the questions, and it seems to have the intended effect once I'm in a conversation. I struggle with the transitions and I like your suggestions there - I'll apply them tonight when I'm off to practice!

 

And thanks for the ref, if there's magic in that book, I'm checking it out

[denise_xo]

Hi Denise. My advice would be to listen to Ruby Slippers. My imposing stature I think kinda scares people off. They don't like being diminished by my view of the tops of their heads. I need to be a CEO so I don't have to kiss @ss and everyone needs to kiss mine. Wish I could be more helpful.

 

Although I'm not sure you'd really want your @ss kissed by some of these people...

[Ruby Slippers]

Hi Denise. My advice would be to listen to Ruby Slippers. My imposing stature I think kinda scares people off. They don't like being diminished by my view of the tops of their heads. I need to be a CEO so I don't have to kiss @ss and everyone needs to kiss mine. Wish I could be more helpful.

And it's only all the more flattering to a person when a towering hottie like yourself shows genuine interest.

 

Seriously, when a person you're very attracted to interviews you with sincere curiosity, it's a heady, intoxicating experience.