littlebittle Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 I have a friend who I dated a long time ago. Nothing ever happened between us in the past. He liked me but I didn't like him. But now we're friends again. We have made it clear that we're just going to be friends and not be in a relationship, but he is very sexual. He asks me for back rubs, he says I look cute, and he jokingly told me I was a bad girl who should be punished. He's also pretty flirty and always wants to pay for me when we hang out. I don't think he wants a relationship, but do you think he'd be into some casual sex even though we said we'd just be friends? He's the one who said we should just be friends when I talked about a relationship. I was OK with that, I think I just wanted to know where things were headed between us. I thought we'd be cool as friends but all of this sex talk is making me want him. Is he just being fresh or do you think he'd be into it? What should I do?
Fire Salamander Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 I have a friend who I dated a long time ago. Nothing ever happened between us in the past. He liked me but I didn't like him. But now we're friends again. We have made it clear that we're just going to be friends and not be in a relationship, but he is very sexual. He asks me for back rubs, he says I look cute, and he jokingly told me I was a bad girl who should be punished. He's also pretty flirty and always wants to pay for me when we hang out. I don't think he wants a relationship, but do you think he'd be into some casual sex even though we said we'd just be friends? He's the one who said we should just be friends when I talked about a relationship. I was OK with that, I think I just wanted to know where things were headed between us. I thought we'd be cool as friends but all of this sex talk is making me want him. Is he just being fresh or do you think he'd be into it? What should I do? Are you serious? I think you should lay naked on your bed, then see what he does.
Author littlebittle Posted August 23, 2010 Author Posted August 23, 2010 Well since we talked about just being friends, I don't want to overstep any boundaries. I also thought maybe he's just joking around with this stuff, and doesn't really intend to follow through on any of it. I don't know how guys think about this stuff.
crimsonmike Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 Duh. Yeah, he wants to have sex with you. He most likely wants a relationship with you. He used the oldest trick in the book. He made his feelings clear up front, and you rejected him. He then made himself unavailable to you and now, BAM, you want him. Works almost every time.
Author littlebittle Posted August 23, 2010 Author Posted August 23, 2010 (edited) Duh. Yeah, he wants to have sex with you. He most likely wants a relationship with you. He used the oldest trick in the book. He made his feelings clear up front, and you rejected him. He then made himself unavailable to you and now, BAM, you want him. Works almost every time. Well more than that, since we've decided not to go down the relationship road, he has become soo much more laid back and fun to be around. When we first went out, he was so introverted and uptight, but now we hang out and burp and curse and drink beer and have so much fun. Now that he doesn't seem to have the pressure of dating over his head, he's just way more cool and fun and we get along great. But he's also amped up the sex talk. I'm not sure if he's just trying to be funny and pervy, or if he's actually still interested in me. Edited August 23, 2010 by littlebittle
atlnay Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 Do you need to be in an exclusive relationship before you have sex? Your friend told you the truth, he doesnt want a relationship. If you can handle friends with benefits & you are attracted to him, go for it!
Author littlebittle Posted August 23, 2010 Author Posted August 23, 2010 Do you need to be in an exclusive relationship before you have sex? Your friend told you the truth, he doesnt want a relationship. If you can handle friends with benefits & you are attracted to him, go for it! I'm cool with friends with benefits. It's just confusing when someone says he just wants to be friends, then asks you for back rubs and acts really flirty.
atlnay Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 How old are you & your guy? It'll help me put your confusion in perspective. He wants to have sex with you. That's why he is being all flirty & trying to get physical. What else are you confused about?
atlnay Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 Something else to consider...if you are confused now...already overanalyzing...wanting to know what his actions mean & where this is headed...can you honestly handle a nsa fwb situation?
Author littlebittle Posted August 23, 2010 Author Posted August 23, 2010 Something else to consider...if you are confused now...already overanalyzing...wanting to know what his actions mean & where this is headed...can you honestly handle a nsa fwb situation? I'm 28, he's 30. I haven't had a fwb in a few years but I've never had any issues with them. I wanted to know where this was headed because he was so head over heels for me last year, and I just felt like we would run into the same obstacles that we did when he wanted a relationship in the past. I think he's a great candidate for a fwb; I'm just kind of a neurotic person in general.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 LOL - why is this so complicated to you? The only question that matters at all at this point, and given all you've said, is "Do you want to be ridden hard and put away wet???" IF the answer is "yes, I do, with this guy", then you simply say, bluntly: "I want you to f*ck me tonight" All you have offered in the way of clues here assures anyone reading that he would happily go to town on you, so you need not fear rejection, but you owe it to common sense to be BLUNT about what YOU want/desire.
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