StartingAgain2010 Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 I will keep this short and sweet to give some background. My ex made the decision to leave about a year ago. No cheating, no horrible things, just life. Bills, daughter, responsibility, etc. He remained living in the same house as me until January of this year so he could "save money" to leave. After living on his own for 8 months he has come to realize that he can't do it by himself...doesn't have the money. So he is moving in with his girlfriend and her son. Here is my issue...I do not think it is appropriate for my 3 year old to be exposed to them living together. He sees nothing wrong with this. I don't understand how he can move on so quickly and move in with her so easily? I have tried to date myself and just can't do it...I'm not emotionally there. How is it he can be?! I guess my question is am I overreacting to his moving in with his girlfriend? He says he's only doing it for financial reason, but I'm not stupid...I want to not care...but this girl was the one that he had a "bond" with because she and her girlfriend (yes you read that right) were having issues the same time my ex and I were. It really hurts me still. How do I let go? Anyone have any suggestions?
Loquacious Miss L. Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 I think that the fact that you're so honest with yourself is a great thing. I think that he has issues with dealing with reality and sounds like a first rate ass to be honest. I think it's "easy" for him to move on because he never learned how to deal with real life and as such he really has no "problem," moving on because he never dealt with the issue at hand unfortunately.
You Go Girl Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 Does he have primary custody? Are there behaviors that you find dangerous to your son, or bad influences? You can discuss your concerns with him calmly, unless there are dangerous or rather bad conditions, in which case, you get the friendship of the court involved. Yes, if it is just emotional on your part, and nothing bad is going on, you do have to simply move past it, and accept it. It's shocking to you, and hurtful, because you are alone and picturing this family scenario going on with the three of them. Stop torturing yourself with imagining this stuff. Just pay attention to how your son acts after spending time there, and question him about conditions, but don't grill him on things endlessly.
shawnc Posted August 27, 2010 Posted August 27, 2010 Ask yourself, why does it annoy you that your son spends time with the two of them? Are you being completely honest with yourself? Regardless of how much it hurts, your ex has every right to move on - and it has been a year. Perhaps he never loved you as much as you loved him? We are all different - and we deal with emotions differently. I wouldn't be too quick to judge him just because he is moving on with his life. If he is not hurting or jeopardizing your sons emotional and physical wellbeing I see no reason why your son shouldn't be spending time with his dad. My advice would be for you to evaluate how you really feel about your ex, and evaluate where the negativity towards him moving on is coming from. (These are my honest opinions, no hard feelings) Shawn
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