sarah42 Posted February 17, 2004 Posted February 17, 2004 I'm new to this board and hoping someone can give me some advice. My boyfriend finished with me 12 weeks ago. We'd been seeing each other for over 2 years and we really did have a lot in common. During the time we were together, I had a couple of personal setbacks but my boyfriend was supportive. I did sense however that he did not feel he was the most important person in my life and, looking back, I realise I was depressed because of my setbacks and should have given him more attention than I did. That's not to say I ever showed any interest in anyone else because I didn't and he knows that. Out of the blue, in early December, he phoned me to tell me he wanted to finish. I asked if there was anyone else and he said not, but when pressed he admitted he'd been seeing someone else and was really happy. This totally devastated me and I pleaded with him to let me go round and speak to him but he wouldn't let me; he said he didn't want to see me upset. The problem is, I realise where I went wrong in our relationship and know how to put it right but he hasn't contacted me since and I haven't contacted him. I miss him so much. I know we were right together and he told me many times I was his soulmate. We even talked about getting engaged two weeks before he finished with me. I've tried so hard to move on but I can't imagine being with anyone else. This was the man I wanted to marry. I know I had my problems, but why did he find it so easy to find someone else without letting me know how unhappy he was? I want him back so much. I just don't understand his behaviour. I would really appreciate some advice please. Thank you.
moimeme Posted February 18, 2004 Posted February 18, 2004 It is my theory that many relationships fail because the people in them will not deal with problems when they arise. Your bf was one of these people. I doubt you'd manage a happy and successful lifetime with someone like this. It is unfortunate that he doesn't have what it takes, but you'll be better off finding a man who can and will do the work needed to maintain a relationship.
pinkroses Posted February 18, 2004 Posted February 18, 2004 He mentioned marriage 2 weeks before saying he wanted to "finish", and during this time, obviously, he had already met someone new. I know you're devastated and in shock and still have feelings for this man, but could you really trust and forgive someone who could do such a thing? Instead of you groveling at his heels for a second chance, he needs to be the one who feels he has lost a great person in you. There are some things done and said that just aren't redeemable.
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