Griffey Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 So two year relationship with my ex gf, talked about marraige, etc. I became distant near the end, not making her a priority, it broke her heart, and she asked for a "break" to clear her mind, etc. This was exactly 1 month ago. Every other day during the break we got in touch somehow and I begged, and stated my case why we were good together. Every time she ended up saying something like - "I don't know yet". She then went to California for 10 days, and IMed me on facebook 6 days in. I asked her how it was going, she said amazing, then I resorted to stating my case again, with her responding that she is still unsure. Finally she came back and I called her and pretty much instigated that she break up with me completely if she doesn't know by now in her heart. She broke up with me. 4 days passed without contact and she texted me to come over and get her stuff at some point. She ended up calling and we talked for 2 hours where at one point she said, I know I can get past all the hurt because of how much good times we had together, I just need time, etc. So she came over 3 days later, got her stuff and we cried together for hours (I cried in front of her, probably showed her too much weakness) and we talked about the relationship, etc. Not a relaxing evening. 3 days later she texted me about money I owed her. I asked if I could drop it with her, she said not a good idea to see each other yet, and then I proceeded to bury myself in another hole. She called me immature and needy sometimes and that maybe we shouldn't keep in touch if that was making me be like this. I agreed, and we both agreed to time and space. I wished her a safe trip to Texas (where she is going to work for a month next week) and she wished me luck moving out of my apt, which is happening in a week as well. Basically it looks like we aren't expecting to talk for AT LEAST a week/week and half. I'm going to start up no contact so I don't keep burying myself. But my question is....did I dig myself too deep a hole already with this month of me being pretty needy on and off? She clearly still has feelings but have I killed them? Looking back, the day she asked for the break if I had just said "I agree, things have been bad lately, let's take some time to work on ourselves" we'd definitely be back by now. If I go a few weeks, maybe months will that counteract the neediness I displayed that month??
mizundastud Posted August 27, 2010 Posted August 27, 2010 i think so...go NC give her time to think about the good times and miss you....live your life and show her your doing fine....and she'll call wanting to talk.
Thorgs Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 i think so...go NC give her time to think about the good times and miss you....live your life and show her your doing fine....and she'll call wanting to talk. This is great advice. Go NC and focus on yourself. This is time for YOU! Not time to beg for her back. Take yourself to the gym, hang out with family and friends, start a new hobby. Do whatever you have to do to take your mind off of her, it's the only way to recover. You can even do what my good friend from Colorado would suggest, go skydiving! Give it time, NC is hard as hell. I'm on day 24 for the 2nd time around. The first 2 weeks are extremely hard, especially if you're just idle. Keep yourself busy. I've noticed I think about my ex constantly still, but it doesn't hurt as much. If I was ever to see her though, I have a feeling I'd be back to square one. So keep full NC and you will be a happy camper in the long run.
mizundastud Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 This is great advice. Just wish I would have followed it myself...now Im back at square one.
Thorgs Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Just wish I would have followed it myself...now Im back at square one. Yeah, I am the same way. I can give great advice but I have a hard time following it. Things will get better for us all though
Author Griffey Posted August 28, 2010 Author Posted August 28, 2010 Thanks you two - I really appreciate the advice. And I agree with it for sure. I became pretty lazy and took her for granted the last few months of the relationship (I was studying for the bar exam though) so I pushed her away big time. It's now been 7 days NC and I miss her terribly, but not as bad as it was when she first broke up with me. I'm hoping time heals wounds for both of us.
Recommended Posts