Tripp Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 Hey guys, this is my first thread, and recently I've been going through a couple problems so it'd be cool if any advice could be offered. My story starts with me and this girl dating for 2 years. We were together during highschool (and are still in highschool). This girl had dated most of my friends, and had a thing of going from one guy to the next, however those relationships were merely kisses and holding hands. They generally lasted a few weeks. Its until she got to me that we lasted a long time. It started quite wonky, with her ringing me at night time talking to me about all the bad things in her life, family, her history with boys etc. She often talked about cutting, however we were only 15, it was the emo phase back in the day. 7 months into the relationship she cheated on me with my best friend. My parents saw me and the state I was in, and from there on, they wanted me to have as little contact with her as possible. She cheated on me because she thought I was going to dump her, and she wanted to have a safety net. The next day at school I saw her with the other guy. I fought for her back. 1 month later we decided to lose our virginity in order for some sense of commitment. I didn't want to do it. But I did it because i felt I loved her. The continuing months were spent the same. We stayed together at school. We rang at night. Her father wanted me to stay away because he felt we were attached, but continued to be together regardless. She left for China for 4 months. I would stay up till 3am just to talk to her on msn. However at the same time, an exchange student came to NZ, and i started to have feelings for her. Not wanting to hurt my girlfriend, i dumped her to see what else the world had to offer. When my ex had come back, we got back together. It was never really the same anymore. I had a constant fear she'd cheat, and vice versa. However we kept on going till the end of 2009. We were arguing constantly. She worked all the time. Her emotional baggage consumed me to the point where I was sad for what she was going through, and sad i couldn't help. I couldn't take anymore. We ended the relationship, and I found another girl. It was during the school holidays I was with this new girl. Things were quite fine. But it wasn't the same. I had experienced my first ever rebound. (really sorry for the long post...I just thought the background might be needed) February, my ex and I started talking. I realised I wanted her back. She had found someone no less than a few weeks after we had broken up. However she had told me that "she was not going to date for a year". We would talk together before we ended up making out. After a few weeks of this, she told me she didnt love me anymore. But looking into her eyes...I could see a different story. She had txted me before saying her new boyfriend was "likeable but not ****able" and that "you had your time with **** and now i get my time with *****". When I asked her if she was happy with this new guy she said "I dont know". The next day she said "I feel I have something special with him". It got to the point where she took me to her house. We did stuff. We embraced in the shower and after putting our clothes on, we talked in the hallway. I hugged her and said "so are we getting back". She said "I need to move on". (we only had sex twice the 2 years we were together) I came back, same old story. We'd talk, make out. She'd say she didn't love me anymore. I saw her sometimes through the glass of a classroom making out with this guy or sitting on his lap. I asked for her back. I fought once again. I told her I still loved her, and that I thought we could make this work. She lent on my shoulder the whole time. She got a txt saying her boyfriend was here, and she ran off. Fast forward to now, where my problem lies. I see her everyday at school, which is becoming unbearable. For the first time in 5 months she tried talking to me. Her opening line was "I feel like i should apologise for being in your face quite recently" (Im assuming with the boyfriend). However, I shook my head, told her I didn't care anymore and kept walking. I told her to stay away from me and she replied "Thats the plan" (so why talk to me lol). Thing is, theres so much I've wanted to say. I wanted to ask if she thought about me, if she cared, if she really loved me (I don't believe you can just stop loving someone). Her opening line looked like she just wanted to fix her ego. And why would she still be avoiding me? She's still with her boyfriend from 6-7 months ago. The urge is there to talk to her. I notice in class that she looks at me, and another friend has seen it to. Its not the normal look...its different. All i've wanted was the truth. And some part of me wants to know if she has slept with him. I know it'd break me, but it would give me the closure I want. I also found out that the guy shes dating said he loves her, (however he only worships her cos shes older than him by a year). Sometimes I walk past my ex, and we ignore each other, like we don't exist. I don't know what to do anymore. Should I man up and talk to my ex? Should I tell her I still care and love her? Or should I continue to ignore her? But how do i resist the temptation to talk? Or the worry in my heart. Sorry for the extremely long post...But I just want someone to understand, or maybe find someone who went through something similar. Theres a conflict in me. One part feels that there might still be a chance. Yes she hurt me a lot...but she did make me happy. The other part is telling me to ignore. That she has slept with him. And that she does love him, and not me. Please help Cheers-Kevin.
GrayClouds Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 Keep resting conversations with her, if they happen keep it short and to the point but polite. Try to find some interests that you can get excited about, some new and different that you can focus on. Be it hitting the gym and weights, learn to play the guitar, taking acting class, or even skydiving. Right now find a thing or two that makes you feel good about yourself and help you focus on something beside her and her life. Make your life exciting for you, trust if you do that things get much better. .
Recommended Posts