buzzie2 Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 If a guy is on the shy side and hasn't had much experience with women, how hard is it for him to ask someone out that he really likes? I know that it's probably fear of rejection; but what if he knew for sure that the girl was into him? Is he waiting for her to make the first move? I am pretty inexperienced when it comes to guys as well and am also shy. Do you have any suggestions/adivce?
zengirl Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 If a guy is on the shy side and hasn't had much experience with women, how hard is it for him to ask someone out that he really likes? I know that it's probably fear of rejection; but what if he knew for sure that the girl was into him? Is he waiting for her to make the first move? I am pretty inexperienced when it comes to guys as well and am also shy. Do you have any suggestions/adivce? I'm pretty sure if any fellow knew for sure a girl was into him and was anything besides painfully socially awkward or neurotic, and was also interested in her, he'd ask her out. But how do you know if someone else knows for sure. And how could he actually know for sure. Beyond that, I suppose there would also be fellows so anxious and shy that they might know a girl was interested BUT think that she'd become uninterested soon after they started talking/he asked her out, and might get paralyzed there too, but that would be someone deeply insecure who would likely be exhausting to date. I've had shy guys ask me out, but they generally needed encouragement to do so. I've often had to speak to them first, etc. Maybe even express direct interest. (Actually, most non-uber-alpha, decent fellows need some encouragement, in my experience, unless you happen to catch him on a day his confidence is soaring or he's decided to intentionally challenge himself.) It really depends on a combination of how shy he is + how comfortable he is with you + how comfortable he is in the setting + what kind of mood (recent successes/failures) he's in + probably other factors. Shy is also a broad spectrum.
xpaperxcutx Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 If a guy is shy, another guy would tell him to grow some balls.... I consider shyness and cowardice two different things. You can be shy and still bring yourself to ask out a girl, you just fight through those asthma attacks and risk the chance of rejection to ask out a cute girl. Being cowardly is completely different. It means you're so overwhelmed with putting someone on a pedestal you think yourself unworthy of their time and attention. Then you go behind a computer and post anonymously why you're still a virgin all these years.... :lmao: So do you get my point? You won't know until you ask. Sometimes you just need to play it nonchalant. Try to keep yourself levelheaded when you ask her out and don't talk so much that you start stammering. Go, " hey << insert girl name here>> how have you been. So what's up?" Ease into a light conversation, then immediately bring something up like " Oh I just remember, I got movie tix to see << insert movie name here>>, are you free? Do you want to go?" If she turns you down, you tell her no problem, then ask her when she would be free next time. If she still turns you down, you play the dignfied man and walk away.
alclarkey Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 Go, " hey << insert girl name here>> how have you been. So what's up?" Ease into a light conversation, then immediately bring something up like " Oh I just remember, I got movie tix to see << insert movie name here>>, are you free? Do you want to go?" If she turns you down, you tell her no problem, then ask her when she would be free next time. If she still turns you down, you play the dignfied man and walk away. Works for me.
somedude81 Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 If a guy is on the shy side and hasn't had much experience with women, how hard is it for him to ask someone out that he really likes? I know that it's probably fear of rejection; but what if he knew for sure that the girl was into him? Is he waiting for her to make the first move? I am pretty inexperienced when it comes to guys as well and am also shy. Do you have any suggestions/adivce? How is the guy supposed to know for sure that the girl likes him? Guys that don't have a lot of experience with women are generally very bad at reading women. xpaperxcutx also had a good point. There is a difference between being shy and being scared of rejection. Very few guys are actually shy, while fear of rejection is much more common. Yes it is to ask somebody out when the guy knows the girl is interested. But even then there is a chance that the guy just can't see the interest.
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