TomerT Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 Hi all, After 9 days of complete No contact my X girlfriend (that broke up with me 12 days ago and I really want her back) just called me. I didn't answer, since first of all I was really busy, and secondly was not sure what I am going to say to her. So my question is should I call her back or should I stick to 30 days no contact rule ? I think (but I can be wrong), that she called "just to be nice", or may be to "keep tabs on me"... What should I do ?
noname1 Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 (edited) delete please Edited August 22, 2010 by noname1
noname1 Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 sorry to bother, I posted in the wrong thread ... ugh at least your ex is contacting you though lol
Author TomerT Posted August 22, 2010 Author Posted August 22, 2010 sorry to bother, I posted in the wrong thread ... ugh at least your ex is contacting you though lol Actually, I am not so sure about this. I have no idea what she wants....
WallyExPRESS Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 i know is hard cuz i cant do it myself, But stick to NC, i am trying myself and i know how hard it is
Username37 Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 Hi all, After 9 days of complete No contact my X girlfriend (that broke up with me 12 days ago and I really want her back) just called me. I didn't answer, since first of all I was really busy, and secondly was not sure what I am going to say to her. So my question is should I call her back or should I stick to 30 days no contact rule ? I think (but I can be wrong), that she called "just to be nice", or may be to "keep tabs on me"... What should I do ? She's checking up on you. Doesn't mean she wants to reconcile. It's probably the guilt hitting her. My ex did the same ****. Don't contact, that's the answer you'll probably get around here. If she wanted to reconcile, she would make it totally obvious. Could be possible she's trying to keep a hook on ya.
Author TomerT Posted August 22, 2010 Author Posted August 22, 2010 I do tend to agree with this, and I do not expect her to say me "Honey, please forgive my stupidity and take me back" If I want her back in some point I shall answer her... So when and how can I know she is just "checking me" or really want come back ?
Username37 Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 I do tend to agree with this, and I do not expect her to say me "Honey, please forgive my stupidity and take me back" If I want her back in some point I shall answer her... So when and how can I know she is just "checking me" or really want come back ? If she wants you back, she would be obvious about it. I'm sure she won't "test" the waters.
Author TomerT Posted August 22, 2010 Author Posted August 22, 2010 Complication of all this - is that she broke with me (on Skype) while she abroad...she will be back only in one month..
Bikram Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 its good that she is contacting you and she may probably ask you to be her friend..listen to me for one thing ..dont be rude and dont ignore her..just response to her calls for 2 to 3 mins and tell her that you would call her anytime and then dont call her..dont let her suck your emotions outta you and be friends with you and get everything she got from you in a relationship just by being her friend..this will raher make her feel she made the right decision..!! just follow the no contact rule but do respond to her sometime and give her 3 to 4 mins and then finish the call. and do this no contact rule till she goes to the boiling point of getting you back and craving to come back. try this..it may help..anyways ur doing good..!!!
Author TomerT Posted August 22, 2010 Author Posted August 22, 2010 I just called her (6 hours after), she didn't answer (how surprising ? ) This "cat and mouse" game is really draining me. I am already not so sure if I really love her and actually want her back for the right reasons. It's feel like she becoming completely distant person now.
Bikram Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 well dude..then dont contact her..and moreova if you think u dont need her anymore ..guys you both need space..trust me if you give yourself and her a space of atleast a month or may be less...there may be a spark in u guys..look brother ur girl friend is not in a love forum like you are...so trust me your more desperate..so kindly calm down ..only recieve calls nd dont call her then.when she calls pick up..say hi ..then let her lead the conversation and then drop it..u guys need space ..both of you..are you guys in the same class or place or work..watever..do u guys meet evryday ..????
Author TomerT Posted August 22, 2010 Author Posted August 22, 2010 she on long vacation (to her family and country) now, she will come back in a month. BTW, she broke with me few days after she left on Skype...I know her, she will call me again (even though I already told her that currently "friends" is not an option since I need time to heal..latter - will see). So, her favorite question is "Honey, do you still love me?" or "Do you want us back ?" or something like this... In this case I really don't know what to say...On the one hand (by saying "No") I don't want to run her away (eventually I would like us to be together), and on the other hand (by saying "Yes") it will just give her an indicator that she can keep me hanging some more time....I feel helpless...
VeveCakes Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 No contact. Like the other posters say, she will make it obvious if she wants to reconcille.
Iconoclast Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 Another vote for let her come to you, she can text you, or leave you a voice mail saying she wants back.
Lost Fish Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 She probably broke it off with you to be free in her own country and to do what she wants guilt-free. Now that her vacation is ending she may try to reconcile. But if you take her back and call her all the time you are teaching her that it is ok to treat you like dirt. I'm sure part of her may love you, but she certainly does not respect you. You need to go complete NC. I tend to disagree with Tomer. You need to go complete NC. No calls, not texts, no email. Nothing. And give it at least 2 weeks from right now. Because every time you call her back you are feeding into the problem - that it's ok to treat you this way. It's not. Start respecting yourself man. If she wants you back she will fight to get in touch with you. Settle for anything less and you are selling yourself short and teaching her that this type of behavior is ok - and the more respect she loses for you, the less interested she will be in you. Be a man. Be strong.
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