WallyExPRESS Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 My name is wallace, i am 23, me and my ex who is 20 broke up 3 weeks ago, and i been trying to work things out with her, she went away for the weekend and she met this kid who is 18, just got done with high school and are moving to where we are to go to collage, she change her facebook to be in a relationship with him 4 days ago and he just moved in to his dorm today, and they been hanging out tonight, and i know they are back at me and her's apartment right now, i been living with my friend since the break up, today she said she still love me but she want a week to clear her head and find out what she wants, she told me she know is not going to last with this guy and he is not what she wants, and she didnt talk to me at all today, didnt reply to my text or call....... and i know she is with him, what am i suppose to do? i can see it in her eyes that she love me, that i am the one she wants, but why is she doing this? she told me she wants to work things out, is she lie-ing? i can tell when she is not being truthful with me because i am a psychology major and read a lot of books on profiling, because i plan to work for the FBI one day, and so many times i was able to know what she is going to do before she even think about doing it, but right now i am just lost, i dont know what to think, i dont know what to believe, i dont know what to do, please help please!!!
cookie2 Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 Sorry man but she is in denial and so are you. If she loved you then she would not want to be with anyone else. If she knew it would not work out with this guy then why is she with him? As my sig says, judge her on her actions, not her words. She has GIGS (grass is greener syndrome). She thinks she may be better off with the other guy but she wants to keep you around as a backup, in case it doesn't work out. She is what they call a cake eater. By allowing her to do this you are making yourself into a doormat. You should tell her to make a choice right now, or else you should be the one to make a choice to get rid of her.
jon3105 Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 From the fact that she is still with this other person, but telling you "oh dont worry, it wont last", it is clear she just wants to keep you strung along incase it doesnt work out with him. She has absolutely no regard for your feelings and is being completely selfish. The best thing you can do right now is shut yourself off from her, dont contact her (atleast for a while) and make her wonder what you're doing and who you're with, etc. She's in her comfort zone because she feels she can do what she pleases and then pick you back up at the end of it all. The moment she stops hearing from you she'll realise that you arent going to be taken for a ride. " i can see it in her eyes that she love me, that i am the one she wants, but why is she doing this?" You have to be careful with things like this, its very very easy to see what you want to see. I'm in a very messy situation myself where my ex broke up with me, then apparently decided she'd made a mistake and wanted to try again. I made every effort for things to be perfect and was convinced things had changed and I saw genuine happiness and love in her, a week later I get the "I still dont feel the same" chat and she breaks up with me again. Leaving me completely gutted and having to start the whole process again.
Fruitpunch Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 Agreed. Imagine you had a friend. His girlfriend broke up with him and moved in with another guy. Would you tell him to keep chasing her trying to get her back while she ****s someone else. Of course you wouldnt Look at this from an outside perspective dude. She is being selfish. She is not respecting your feelings and treating you like ****. These are the times when you have to decide if you accept this behaviour or you dont. If you got back with her now it would NEVER be the same again. She broke your trust. You HAVE to live by certain rules. There are things you CANT accept and this is one of them. Its worse than cheating on you. Walk away, dont speak to her and leave it be. The longer you hang around the less attractive you become to her. What girl wants a guy that they can use while they **** someone else? Women are very tribal when it comes to this. IF you aren't considered a rock, a man who has principles then you are nothing to them Man up, walk away, show the world you take **** from no one
Fruitpunch Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 Music helps man. It helps change your mood. Call up some friends, arrange to go hang out then put a kick ass song on as loud as possible and get that feeling that no one ****s with you and you arent going to take **** from anyone. Then go meet your buddies and if you want to talk about what a bitch she is, do that. But dont let your head get in frame that she is on a pedestal. Take that pedestal away, take the power back now and go NC.
BigProc Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 Great advice there, after reading that you wont want anymore. Especially from a friends perspective. If a friend was doin saying what you are you would think he was delusional. Love truly is blind andit throws all obvious logic out of window. Just show you want be 2nd best to some other dude and take no s***. gl
Jeff M Stevens Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 She can SAY all she wants but all she is trying to do is to keep you as a backup if things do not work out with the other guy. If you can accept being in backup mode for life with her, then go ahead and stay around. I am sorry if that sounds harsh. I really do feel for you guy. But I would rather you get the truth now so you can move on to a girl you really deserve. You seem like a great guy and you should not accept being a backup for anyone. When it comes to this girl, keep this word in your mind: NEXT (as in move on to the NEXT girl)
Author WallyExPRESS Posted August 22, 2010 Author Posted August 22, 2010 Thanks guys, i guess is time to end this after 2 years...
Author WallyExPRESS Posted August 22, 2010 Author Posted August 22, 2010 and one more thing, does rebound ever last, and ever work? girls come on in and answer this for me
Fruitpunch Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 There is no point worrying if it will or wont. If you are in that frame of mind then you are still longing to take her back, after shes dumped you for someone else. They have a high tendency not to last , but it could go on for years, you have no control over it What you do have control over is how you react. Blank her, take her off FB, dont look at any photos and remember that this is the best thing for you at this time
JamesB Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 Rebounds can last but in my experience they rarely do. I was my exs rebound. We lasted for 5 months before she left me for someone else. She was using me to get over her ex and was just with me untill someone better came along and when they did she was off as quick as lightning! I went through what you are, hoping they'll split up and she'll come running back but the best thing you can do is try and forget about her, go NC because false hope is dangerous! My best friend however got with a girl 3 years ago on the rebound and their getting married next month, so I guess rebounds can last but this is the only example in know of!
Author WallyExPRESS Posted August 23, 2010 Author Posted August 23, 2010 thanks guy, you guys has been great helping me through this
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