PrettyPoppy Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 I keep ruminating on how insane I got at times. I cannot/do not handle when people play weird hang up/non answering games. I need to just tell someone once I don't like this and then, if they don't stop, I need to just leave. That being said, what a crazy person I became and it's humiliating to recall. Begging/Long text messages/crying. What was I thinking letting myself lose control to this degree? How do I not lay in bed at night and cringe with mortification? I have visions of these long text messages being passed around. What can I say, I own the lunacy. Card carrying reactor here. Has anyone learned to deal with this well? I was completely blindsided by these interactions and would completely freak out. How have others handled someone who refuses to answer a phone or plays phone power games? What worked to keep from blowing up in anger and or acting like a begging sap?
jerbear Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 It seems like you are into those games and thrive on them. My advice is to seek professional advice.
Author PrettyPoppy Posted August 22, 2010 Author Posted August 22, 2010 Huh??? I'm not understanding this response.
9Lives Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 I keep ruminating on how insane I got at times. I cannot/do not handle when people play weird hang up/non answering games. I need to just tell someone once I don't like this and then, if they don't stop, I need to just leave. That being said, what a crazy person I became and it's humiliating to recall. Begging/Long text messages/crying. What was I thinking letting myself lose control to this degree? How do I not lay in bed at night and cringe with mortification? I have visions of these long text messages being passed around. What can I say, I own the lunacy. Card carrying reactor here. Has anyone learned to deal with this well? I was completely blindsided by these interactions and would completely freak out. How have others handled someone who refuses to answer a phone or plays phone power games? What worked to keep from blowing up in anger and or acting like a begging sap? you just didn't know better. unmtil I came on LS I made these mistakes. its a normal reaction to heartache. you will learn from being on here that it is better ways to get thru these kinds of things. u should be fine one day
D-Lish Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 Has anyone learned to deal with this well? I was completely blindsided by these interactions and would completely freak out. How have others handled someone who refuses to answer a phone or plays phone power games? What worked to keep from blowing up in anger and or acting like a begging sap? Yes- I deal with it really well- I control myself and never give them the benefit of seeing me sweat. Simply don't respond. No matter how much something inspires you to rage- don't respond. It's about self control.
thrownaway Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 (edited) I did a lot of these things too Poppy. Sometimes I wouldn't answer the phone, sometimes he wouldn't answer the phone. Sometimes he punched my laptop, or me. People get 'crazy' in love. I can always go back to a point in all my past bad relationships where I had a 'vision' of sorts... I don't know how to explain it really well, I got nauseous and dizzy and was almost like I was having an out of body experience, and I could see what was happening between us, that the relationship had gone very bad and I knew there was no turning back, and that things will always be the way they are in that relationship. It was like reality hitting me in the head. THAT was when I needed to walk out. Once I come to that specific 'realization moment'... I need to learn it's time to pack up and just walk. It only gets worse from there. I think also that the thought stays with me, from that point forward I have it set in my mind that it is not going to work, yet I stay... and I stay maybe because I am... co-dependent and/or who knows what else... crazy?! Yes, I do and have done some very stupid and silly things.... but we have to learn not to do them again.... in the future, when we see it coming we have to stop it before it goes further and gets out of control. We need to stop trying to save relationships that we are not happy in anyway. Edited August 22, 2010 by thrownaway
Author PrettyPoppy Posted August 22, 2010 Author Posted August 22, 2010 "We need to stop trying to save relationships that we are not happy in anyway." Bingo! That is when I started to melt down. I asked repeatedly for all sorts of immature phone/text messaging to stop and I got the "I am what I am" attitude. I was shocked. He relays that family etc. complain that they ring and he takes days, for no reason, to respond. Instead of seeing that is really not ok, rather like an alcoholic who says "well I like my beer so you have to deal with me pissing the bed daily" and running for the hills, I decided I'm going to fight this or change it. Now who is the nutcase now? ....I wonder. More grateful daily for leaving.
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