LostInTurn Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 B, I feel my last words would best be said pen to paper. I don't know why you wouldn't listen. I tried, with good faith, to reach out twice in the past three weeks. My only question was if we could speak. You would get so angry with me and assume things prior to my even saying anything. I know you. I know how frustrated you get and how you react. I also know you don't like to be pushed. You made so many assumptions about me that were incorrect. I did everything for you, selfless acts because of what I felt for you as the person I was in a relationship with. I was upset with myself. I started to think I was in the wrong and everything was my fault. Yet, none of those thoughts are true. I gave my all. I did everything I should have done for you and us. All of my days were spent giving, for you. I put myself last and always put you first, no matter the cost to myself. I thought we were on to something. I believed you when you said you felt the same. I believed the countless days when you would ask me to believe how you felt, and I did. I did believe your words. I believed in every effort and what the relationship was about. I never thought I would be hurt in a relationship again. I thought the hurt would only happen around us, to other couples. I never thought it would be us. I don't know who you've become. I never knew the method to use when approaching you. You always seemed so nice. Yet, you turned into someone I didn't know for the duration of our time together. I, like you, thought we would last. I believed you when you looked me in the eyes and told me. That was only moments before the break. I don't know what could have been and I cannot think of what may have happened if, and so on. All I know is what's happening now. We know nothing about one another any longer. We don't know where either of us are in this world or what either of us are thinking. Some days I wonder if you think of me. I don't know how you cannot. After all, I do know you and I know how you think. Maybe one day you'll see. I was amazing to you. Funny, the way it is...
AlwaysConflicted Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 It would be great if these wonderful letters we write as the dumpees actually worked. Chances are he's in a totally different mindset so he won't even process everything the way it was intended to be read.
Username37 Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 What we find sweet, heartfelt, and kind, THEY find needy, pathetic, desperate, and stupid. If only they knew.
skydiveaddict Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 for your own sanity, dont send it. Dont put yourself through that. I am so heartbroken tonite I can hardly stand it. But no way will I ever write a letter. That's only a formula for more misery
Jabez Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 Ugh, I can't believe that this Wednesday will be not only my birthday, but 2 weeks TO THE DAY since my ex not only told me she had a new boyfriend but she went out of town with him too. It's so ****ed up I can't stand it. I want to hate her so much but I can't bring myself to. Lost, I feel your pain and that letter was a beautiful summary of your feelings. AC, I agree completely with you. How great would it be if they actually knew our letters for what they were and saw things from our perspectives.
collegeguy_24 Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 I know how you feel, I want to send a letter to, or at least a text asking if we can talk. But as the advice given to me in my other thread said, its best to remain NC until either the ex contacts us, or a deadline we gave before comes up and then we can contact them. I don't know your full story but I can most certainly sympathize.
Author LostInTurn Posted August 22, 2010 Author Posted August 22, 2010 I know how you feel, I want to send a letter to, or at least a text asking if we can talk. But as the advice given to me in my other thread said, its best to remain NC until either the ex contacts us, or a deadline we gave before comes up and then we can contact them. I don't know your full story but I can most certainly sympathize. CollegeGuy, I sent the texts asking if we could talk. We'd either talk via text or he'd say he'd call, but play mind games and tell me I did something so he wasn't going to. I want to send a letter because I have things to say. Nothing mean. Just thinks to say. I don't have anymore questions at this point. He's done so much damage. Inflicted so much pain. Caused so much hurt. It really doesn't even matter. If he realizes one day, which he will it won't matter then. I want to move on, but I also need closure. Closure to say the things I need to say knowing they were sent and delivered. There's something about receiving a letter in the mail that, to me, is powerful.
bonpaw2008 Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 Sweetie, what you are looking for is validation that you did everything right, tried your best, and that everything was perfect. You need to start looking for that validation from yourself, not from him. It is not his job to tell you that everything was great and that he made a huge mistake because that is not his perception, and it is only going to hurt you more when he doesn't confirm. You know what your relationship meant to you, you know that it had wonderful, amazing moments and that you did everything that you could to make it work. It didn't work but now you need to learn something from it, get your self-confidence back so you don't need that validation from anyone but yourself on how great you are.... Find love within yourself for yourself he can't tell you what you need to hear....
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