f/u on 1st date - online match

[WintersNightTraveler]

Most of us aren't very focussed on her text, though

 

But it reveals so much more about why she did what she did. Swaggering tales of macho derring-do are so common around here. Just take 'em for the lulz they are worth.

[Tayla]

So I take it that you two don't actually believe women are or should be considered equal to men, but our lessers to be coddled and treated like children? Asking again, does your mother/father/family member call you every night to make sure you made it home all right? Why not? Perhaps because they attribute adulthood to you, that as an adult you can take care of yourself on a daily basis? Why is a date any different then?

 

It's not.

 

Meerkat, we are to an extent our brothers keepers. Learn that and maybe someday you can grow up and be a polite adult. Not sure where you intrepreted that Human kindness is to be tossed out the window once a person is an adult and goes out on a date. Its ones' choice to have manners and chilvary but at no point is it dead. Its simply only used less and less as this thread has suggested....thru post.

[SpanksTheMonkey]

1. Ya'll are the ones making statements that not contacting a first date to see if she got home safely is a lack of basic manners, a ridiculous standard to expect of men after first dates. The exception would be if he had picked her up at her house and something prevented him from taking her back himself. Women are completely capable of getting home safely on their own, and unless they are generally getting "did you get home safe" calls from family or work on a nightly basis, expecting it of first dates is ridiculous. It's a gesture, like paying for a first date, not an obligation.

 

Actually I was talking about him not contacting her AT ALL a real man would have at least text something to her the next day even if it was a polite "thanks but not interested message" No one was sayin he had to "see if she got home ok" its really not a ridiculous expectation its just basic manners

 

2. Others want to jump on OP for his "gleeful tone" in describing his date's imperfections. I can cite dozens and dozens of such threads by women here microanalyzing their date's features, yet no one gets their feathers ruffled in those threads. OP merely expresses his honest feelings. If he doesn't like her tits, he doesn't like her tits, so what?

 

Other then it can make him look shallow I personally don't care if he didn't like her tits long as hes not disrespectful to/about her we all have personal preference but would prob serve him better to keep it to himself

 

3. Another bogus line of reasoning is that he is somehow "leading her on" by kissing her and flirting with her on the date, yet not asking her out again. This is reminiscent of the disgusting old rape defense "she was dressed like a whore, so she was sending signals and deserved what she got." Neither men nor women are obligated to second date anyone no matter how far they go physically on the first date. People have the right to change their minds or feelings. Better that than to keep dating someone and build -true- expectations.

 

It is leading her on and you know it so what should we call a women who gets a guy all horned up and then has nothing to do with him beyond it? we call her a "cock tease" well it goes bouth ways. People do have the right to "change their minds" yes but that clearly wasn't the situation here the op STARTED off the date knowing full well he was never going to have anything to do with again afterwards clear differance no matter how you try to defend him

 

 

4. But the real princess mentality in this thread is displayed by posters who claim that by kissing and flirting with the woman he was somehow "taking" something from her and somehow "owes" her something in return, which is absurd. Whatever consensual things a man and woman decide to do on a date are presumably mutually pleasant, not a "gift" from one to the other.

 

Yes but I wonder if she would have "consented" if she had knowen his true feelings for her before hand I some how doubt it but either way she should have had the choice. Or it shouldn't have even gotten to that level in the 1st place. Again it all boils down to basick human respect in a way he did take something from her her right to choose wither or not she wanted to be used like that

[SpanksTheMonkey]

 

Yes, she sounds insecure and needy. Just the perfect type for this middle aged boy's game. Who else would have spent a whole evening with this clown, eating up whatever lame stuff he was offering her?

.

 

Far as the women herself I agree with this it was a odd text to send at best but then again shes prob been mucked around like this a few times so it gets tiering ide imagen. And as art says I'm sure the op hasn't been totally open I guess he expected us all to gang up and say "yeah what a fruit loop she was"

 

But you also have to consider what is provoking some one to some extent usually in life it boils down to cause and effect more times then not. I think the only ones who are going to give the op the cyber "high fives" hes really looking for are going to be other members of the "bitter little boys club"

[Tres]

Does anyone disagree that the phrase "what did I do that you didn't like?" in the text 12 hours after the date implies that the lady probably had low confidence, was way too into this guy quickly, or some combination of the two?

 

What anyone thinks of the OP's tone and attitude is a matter of taste. It just seems so obvious to me that the motivation on the part of the women to send that text was largely based on her insecurities, not the OP's insidious, cruel and irresistable seduction techniques.

 

Also everyone discusses tits and teeth in the real world, even women.

 

Perhaps, she was secure enough but naive and inexperienced in dating.

My guess is that she really liked OP and did not play any games to hide the fact that she was into him so much.

[meerkat stew]

"bitter little boys club"

 

Oh there's definitely a "bitter club" here in this thread, but it ain't a boy's club.

 

OP describes a date where both parties enjoyed themselves, danced and made out. Unfortunately he wanted no more of the woman, yet she seemed to feel otherwise. He made a few arguably unkind comments about her physicality in the OP as partial reasons for his "launching" her, not the most sensitive term for rejection, but not exactly the language of a hate crime either.

 

He maintained a polite disposition with the woman and told her directly he was not interested in further dating rather than stringing her along or using her for sex. OP has never directly insulted anyone in this thread, the closest he got was stating his hope that one poster wasn't as bitter in real life as she seemed here.

 

Here is a list of insulting terms applied to OP by posters to his thread. I hope some of you read and reread it:

 

[sIZE=2]"deceitful, jackass, 17 y.o., childish, pathetic, idiot, senior citizen, phony, naive, stupid, imbecile, spreading poison, rude, disrespectful, power trip, gross, user, high school, nasty, tramp, boorish, ignorant, arrogant, gloating, insecure, middle school boy, clown, c_ck tease, bitter little boy"

 

Umadbro? or rather, Umadhos?

[/sIZE]

[meerkat stew]

Meerkat, we are to an extent our brothers keepers.

 

Speak for yourself, I'm not my brother's keeper, the law says none of us are, no etiquette book, rule or custom says we are. I'm actually a "car door opener" and don't call to see a first internet date is safely home. Nobody calls me to see I'm safely home. I don't call my 68 y.o. parents nightly to see they are safely home, nor my friends nor any other family.

 

As far as "chivalry" goes, define that term please. It comes straight from romance novels, no joke it really does, not from anything existing in the real world for the last 600 years. It's an empty term women use to bully men today, nothing more. When's the last time you heard a man say the word "chivalry?"

 

As far as manners go, there's no mannerly rule of calling one's acquaintances to see they are home safe, none. Prove me wrong, I have been wrong in the past, but it has been so long I've forgotten what it feels like and would really enjoy eating some crow. Please serve me some

 

You all just want to jump on OP so bad for rejecting this woman that you are making up social rules that don't exist.

[SpanksTheMonkey]

Oh there's definitely a "bitter club" here in this thread, but it ain't a boy's club.

 

OP describes a date where both parties enjoyed themselves, danced and made out. Unfortunately he wanted no more of the woman, yet she seemed to feel otherwise. He made a few arguably unkind comments about her physicality in the OP as partial reasons for his "launching" her, not the most sensitive term for rejection, but not exactly the language of a hate crime either.

 

He maintained a polite disposition with the woman and told her directly he was not interested in further dating rather than stringing her along or using her for sex. OP has never directly insulted anyone in this thread, the closest he got was stating his hope that one poster wasn't as bitter in real life as she seemed here.

 

Here is a list of insulting terms applied to OP by posters to his thread. I hope some of you read and reread it:

 

[sIZE=2]"deceitful, jackass, 17 y.o., childish, pathetic, idiot, senior citizen, phony, naive, stupid, imbecile, spreading poison, rude, disrespectful, power trip, gross, user, high school, nasty, tramp, boorish, ignorant, arrogant, gloating, insecure, middle school boy, clown, c_ck tease, bitter little boy"

 

Umadbro? or rather, Umadhos?

[/sIZE]

 

Were in his original post did he say he was totally honest with her about not wanting to date her? the answer is easy he didn't. He added that he would "respond" to her text but he cirtinaly isent saying he was planing on initiating one himself. I suspect if she hadn't text him he would have never bothered full stop.

 

Matter of fact in one of his posts he basically said "if things led to sex he wouldn't spoil the fun" or something along those lines. You seriously can't see the general wrongness of this? alright then carry on..

 

Oh by the way I said women who tease men are labeled "cock teases" I never said the op was one. If you could kindly refrain from putting words in my mouth that be great thanks!

 

I do how ever stand behind my "bitter little boys club" statement...

[meerkat stew]

Oh by the way I said women who tease men are labeled "cock teases" I never said the op was one. If you could kindly refrain from putting words in my mouth that be great thanks!

 

so what should we call a women who gets a guy all horned up and then has nothing to do with him beyond it? we call her a "cock tease" well it goes bouth ways.

 

...and that is the equivalent of calling OP a "c_ck tease," no need to put any words in your mouth. You're welcome!

 

As far as them having sex or not, which they didn't, now you are just engaging in absurd hypotheticals. And if they had had sex, so what? Thousands of people have sex with relative strangers every night of the year without any expectation that anything will come of it, in fact the presumption is almost universal that nothing will come of such sex. It's called a one night stand, and if she and OP had engaged in it, it would have been her choice to do so and certainly no fuel for those trying fervently to burn OP at the stake.

 

There is no justification for the quantity and harshness of insulting language that has been directed at OP.

[alexlakeman]

...how do I tell this guy that I have been seeing that I am no longer interested in dating him when the reason is because he was hor.i.ble. in bed. Not bad, not coachable, not first time awkwardness, just plain horrible. (We're in our 30s if that matters)

 

We've been out on about 5 dates. I did enjoy his company, but always knew that we weren't going to have a long term/forever kind of thing. Maybe date for a few months, but I manner?

 

I got this on a WOMAN'S thread that is very recent... oh my, poor man, she slept with him "knowing" it wasn't going to be long term?? Hmmmm, sounds familiar to what women do.... lol

 

Payback's a bi.tch..

 

 

 

 

Were in ....red full stop.

 

Matter of fact in one of his posts he basically said "if things led to sex he wouldn't spoil the fun" or something along those lines. You seriously can't see the general wrongness of this? alright then carry on..................I do how ever stand behind my "bitter little boys club" statement...

 

Nothing wrong with sleeping / f.cking / having sex / getting her wet, etc.. with a consenting adult... we didn't sign a long term agreement, NOR did I say we would be together for ever, NOR did I say or insinuate anything about a "second date"... Did I make the first date hot and sexy and romantic? YES, that's me, not made up, not fake.... that's me, I love women, I enjoy women, etc... etc...

 

If she goes and grabs my d.ck while we are making out ... what do you expect? "umm, let me read you the fine print"? We're adults... lol NO NO NO game playing.. lol

[SpanksTheMonkey]

I got this on a WOMAN'S thread that is very recent... oh my, poor man, she slept with him "knowing" it wasn't going to be long term?? Hmmmm, sounds familiar to what women do.... lol

 

Payback's a bi.tch..

 

 

So the sick truth finally comes out eh? I truly hope your a troll or joking so your taking stuff you read on LS and then twisting it adding bitterness and then using that as a excuse to go out in RL and hurt innocent unsuspecting women for no reason? Ok I don't even know what else to say to that but I'm sure other sane members will be along soon to help you out with that

 

 

 

Nothing wrong with sleeping / f.cking / having sex / getting her wet, etc.. with a consenting adult... we didn't sign a long term agreement, NOR did I say we would be together for ever, NOR did I say or insinuate anything about a "second date"... Did I make the first date hot and sexy and romantic? YES, that's me, not made up, not fake.... that's me, I love women, I enjoy women, etc... etc...

 

If she goes and grabs my d.ck while we are making out ... what do you expect? "umm, let me read you the fine print"? We're adults... lol NO NO NO game playing.. lol

 

 

But you see thats the thing shes consenting to those acts under the false facade that you in fact "like" her when in all reality you knew right from the get go you didn't and had no intention of even contacting her ever again!

 

Yes nothing wrong between two adults messing around when they both know the score before hand but the way your describing it is basically using some one for your own gain with out thinking about/caring about the consequences or the other persons feelings at all what better definition of "game playing" could there possibly be?

 

Ps... sorry about the double mistake post guys

Edited August 26, 2010 by SpanksTheMonkey

[Mme. Chaucer]

I got this on a WOMAN'S thread that is very recent... oh my, poor man, she slept with him "knowing" it wasn't going to be long term?? Hmmmm, sounds familiar to what women do.... lol

 

Payback's a bi.tch..

 

There you have it. He's on a mission to make women pay. Oh well. Sorry for the women who cross his path.

 

As far as I'm concerned, he is a pretty embarrassing example of a middle aged man. I guess he got no play in 8th grade so he's trying to make up for lost time in his waning years.

[meerkat stew]

There you have it. He's on a mission to make women pay. Oh well. Sorry for the women who cross his path.

 

As far as I'm concerned, he is a pretty embarrassing example of a middle aged man. I guess he got no play in 8th grade so he's trying to make up for lost time in his waning years.

 

I don't get the impression that OP is running around at large twisting the knife in women for payback so much as he is twisting lots of tails here...

 

 

rather expertly.

[SpanksTheMonkey]

There you have it. He's on a mission to make women pay. Oh well. Sorry for the women who cross his path.

 

As far as I'm concerned, he is a pretty embarrassing example of a middle aged man. I guess he got no play in 8th grade so he's trying to make up for lost time in his waning years.

 

Glowing example of the "bitter little boys club" ide like to see some one try to argue in his favor now with out themselves looking like a total wank as well..This should be intresting

[meerkat stew]

ide like to see some one try to argue in his favor now with out themselves looking like a total wank as well..

 

"deceitful, jackass, 17 y.o., childish, pathetic, idiot, senior citizen, phony, naive, stupid, imbecile, spreading poison, rude, disrespectful, power trip, gross, user, high school, nasty, tramp, boorish, ignorant, arrogant, gloating, insecure, middle school boy, clown, c_ck tease, bitter little boy"

 

There are already plenty of "total wanks" in this thread, why add more?

[SpanksTheMonkey]

I don't get the impression that OP is running around at large twisting the knife in women for payback so much as he is twisting lots of tails here...

 

 

rather expertly.

 

And your point being so you yourself are saying hes acting childish? or do you condone this kinda thing on LS?

 

"deceitful, jackass, 17 y.o., childish, pathetic, idiot, senior citizen, phony, naive, stupid, imbecile, spreading poison, rude, disrespectful, power trip, gross, user, high school, nasty, tramp, boorish, ignorant, arrogant, gloating, insecure, middle school boy, clown, c_ck tease, bitter little boy"

 

There are already plenty of "total wanks" in this thread, why add more?

 

Again your point being? I agree there are total wanks yes least we agree on something for once. So let me ask you this do you think that acting this way is acceptable in the adult world? So you don't see either using women OR wasting people time on LS as some one who could/should be described as any of those words above? So what would you call him kat a saint a crusader for jaded men every were?

[meerkat stew]

And your point being so you yourself are saying hes acting childish? or do you condone this kinda thing on LS?

 

I don't know what is more childish, the big to-do folks have made over OP kissing a girl he didn't really like (if i had a nickel for every woman who kissed me who didn't really like me... and that's fine, I got kissed), or OP stirring up some nasty, bitter people. Frankly, if I were OP given some of the ridiculous names he's been called, and some of the unwarranted accusations leveled against him here, I'd twist as many tails as possible and enjoy every minute of it. Immature? maybe, but we are posting on a forum named "Love Shack" and not the National Review.

 

wasting people time on LS

 

C'mon get off it already. You weren't one of the primary name callers, but you did throw in some. Just quit while you are behind and don't be so quick to fingerpoint at every male who rejects a female next time.

[SpanksTheMonkey]

I don't know what is more childish, the big to-do folks have made over OP kissing a girl he didn't really like (if i had a nickel for every woman who kissed me who didn't really like me... and that's fine, I got kissed), or OP stirring up some nasty, bitter people. Frankly, if I were OP given some of the ridiculous names he's been called, and some of the unwarranted accusations leveled against him here, I'd twist as many tails as possible and enjoy every minute of it. Immature? maybe, but we are posting on a forum named "Love Shack" and not the National Review.

 

 

 

C'mon get off it already. You weren't one of the primary name callers, but you did throw in some. Just quit while you are behind and don't be so quick to fingerpoint at every male who rejects a female next time.

 

what ever you say sunshine.

[alexlakeman]

I'm not the big bad wolf lol! Funny no one commented on ther other thread I mentioned, so it's ok for that woman to sleep with a man for 5 months knowing it wouldn't be long term. Lol so that's ok for a woman to use a guy for 5 months having sex. Lol

 

I bet some of the bitter posters here are more hung up on this still than my date. Lol. Note I am LOOKING for a relationship so if off the bat it doesn't click to ME I am moving on. I'm not hanging around to get laid or to see if things turn out good. I think that is admired by some women, since I'm not playing games or just looking to get laid (that's what d fwb in the interim is for).

 

I believe it is harder for me to break up with someone than it is for women. Women are cold at times and probably are the initiators of more break ups.