Author alexlakeman Posted August 24, 2010 Author Posted August 24, 2010 Curious. Did you reply to this? I plead the fifth.. whatever I answer, someone will not like it, lol... But between you , me , and the rest of the internet world... si..
WintersNightTraveler Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 But between you , me , and the rest of the internet world... si.. Ahh I think that was a mistake. But hopefully it went over well and didn't turn stupid. I was just thinking if you did it would turn full drama. She obviously is a bit insecure and also liked you more than you liked her.
alyssatranswarrior Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 (edited) She obviously is a bit insecure and also liked you more than you liked her. All wrong actually, she didn't like HIM at all, she liked the phony date "act" he puts on which extends to the fakest lengths of milking a date for kisses and affection even after he decides he does not have ANY interest in the girl. As I said earlier, he blatantly admits he uses the same style of first date with every single candidate he meets on internet dating sites. Conclusion = he won't be attached for quite a while til he realizes all women need to be treated as unique from one another when you meet them, they cannot all be treated the same way if he expects more of a connection. The terrible habits are strong with this one *_* ============== I'd like to add one more notion to the mix I love how cut he is getting that we dare have an opinion on what he admitted to us in an online forum - sorry bud we didn't ask you to write about yourself. This act volunteers the positive and negative truth of an opinionated body of people, and you were certainly naive and stupid to consider there would not be negative feedback Your attempts to quash some opinions by name-calling is especially manly. Bravo sir, bravo. Those girls from Match will have an amazing 6 hours they will look to burn out of their memory the next day. You are probly as memorable as Kevin Costner in Postman. That's right, nobody remembers or values that SHIzT once they experience it. LOLanalogy Edited August 24, 2010 by alyssatranswarrior
meerkat stew Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 All wrong actually, she didn't like HIM at all, she liked the phony date "act" he puts on which extends to the fakest lengths of milking a date for kisses and affection even after he decides he does not have ANY interest in the girl. Hrrmm, if he were a woman, he could put on lipstick, eye shadow, brow pencil, blush, dye his hair, dangle shiny things off his ears, accentuate his legs with high heels, show part of his breasts, accentuate his breasts with a padded bra, paint his nails, cinch his waist, etc. and accomplish the date "act" that way, right? But what's the difference? One is paint and another is flirtation. Which is more a mask, the flirtation or stuff that comes off on your hand when you touch it? Hmm? He likely wanted to kiss the girl or he wouldn't have done it and vice versa. So which is more "fakest" dear heart? which indeed. People wanted to get kissed, people got kissed, sounds like an equal playing field to me. As far as milking a date for kisses and affection, what is she an aphid? or perhaps Bossy the milk cow out in the barn? You have an abysmally low opinion of women it seems. Why isn't it possible that she flirted with him and that together with all the "fakest" types of female wiles listed above milked HIM in fact for his attention and affection? Doesn't work that way you say? Why in the world not? Because he has a penis and not a golden vagina? So everything that comes from the penis side is "taking" and everything that comes from the golden vagina side is a "precious gift," I think I'm starting to get it. How bout let's just drop the "milking" line of assumption altogether from our analysis of OP's thread shall we? As I said earlier, he blatantly admits he uses the same style of first date with every single candidate he meets on internet dating sites. Conclusion = he won't be attached for quite a while til he realizes all women need to be treated as unique from one another when you meet them, they cannot all be treated the same way if he expects more of a connection. How uniquely would you have him treat near perfect strangers? Should he memorize all her family members' names before the first date? Bring some thoughtful "no peanut" peanut butter for her allergic little brother? Perhaps a nice new prosthetic for her two-legged cat "Lucky?" And how about her, did she wear his favorite perfume on their first date? favorite color? bring him a new tie tack featuring his school crest? Just how "customized" should a first date be? Oh wait, I get it, in addition to taking the time to write her a pleasant Email commenting on her profile, asking for her phone number in his second pleasant Email, call her on the phone for a pleasant chat, come up with an idea for meeting, ask her out to said meeting, and probably pay for the entirety of said meeting, he is obligated 1. Not to be charming or flirtatious unless he definitely sees a future, 2. Not to respond to her green lights that she is physically interested unless he's ready to fly to Vegas that night, 3. To show her a good time... but not too good a time. And what exactly are her responsibilities in this transaction? 1. Open her email, 2. Answer her phone, 3. Dress up (which he does also), 4. Arrive at the date location. Yes, upon reflection, I can see the harsh injustice of it all in his refusing to treat these brand new acquaintances as "unique." What happened to the concept that first dates are the mechanic whereby people start the cumbersome process of getting to know one another? The terrible habits are strong with this one *_* Really, see I think OP is pretty good at telling the difference between a real prospect and a dried up old Yoda when he sees one. and you were certainly naive and stupid to consider there would not be negative feedback Admittedly, there -is- quite an epidemic of naivete and stupidity in these here parts, I reckon so. You are probly as memorable as Kevin Costner in Postman. That's right, nobody remembers or values that SHIzT once they experience it. LOLanalogy This is your brain... ... and the above is your brain on psilocybe cubensis, or PCP maybe? Something good it looks like. Can I have some? :bunny:
Tayla Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 Correct. And by OP not doing that, the girl could have assessed it as him not having the manners she requires & counted that against him. Not: ask him why he didn't call her.She didn't need to call him to figure that out. In this instance, I believe it did her a disservice. But that's just me. You are absolutely correct in that summation as well.
WintersNightTraveler Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 Hasn't anyone ever played spin the bottle or truth or dare?
Serenitynow Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 What a complete imbecile the OP is. You knew you had no interest in her, yet you played it up, solely for the reason as to not let her know you didnt like her? Another perfect example as to why dating is such a efn chore. because of this genius spreading his poison all over.
meerkat stew Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 I disagree, because I am a responsible well mannered adult. I hold adults accountable with the same expectations. If I am hosting a party I will call my guests to thank them and hope they made it home safely. Same thing different scenario.....One can politely check up on the safety of others...Its not an insult, it shows concern in a genuine manner. Enuff said. Correct. And by OP not doing that, the girl could have assessed it as him not having the manners she requires & counted that against him. Not: ask him why he didn't call her.She didn't need to call him to figure that out. In this instance, I believe it did her a disservice. But that's just me. So I take it that you two don't actually believe women are or should be considered equal to men, but our lessers to be coddled and treated like children? Asking again, does your mother/father/family member call you every night to make sure you made it home all right? Why not? Perhaps because they attribute adulthood to you, that as an adult you can take care of yourself on a daily basis? Why is a date any different then? It's not.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 I did it for the same purpose women do it.. except women get a free ride on it, since the guys always pay, lol... I had NO intention of trying to sleep with her, if it happened it happened... but I certainly KNEW it was not going anywhere but that is NOT going to stop me from having a good time and making sure my date has a good time... So I'm confused if it had happed to lead to sex you wouldn't have argued it? yet you knew well before hand you had totally ZERO interest in seeing her again? "if I'm not understanding you right then sorry" but thats kinda wrong would you have at least been honest and told her it was a ONSs before hand? Why kiss her? Hell, I love making out, lol... it was the right place I took her, romantic a live singer, singing your requests... I asked him to sing to her "lady in red"... If some guy requested that song for me on a date ide sure think he was interested in me and think I'm quite attractive to him Was it a great date? Of course it was, I know it was... I follow a simliar routine on all my first dates , it's like a dog and pony show.. at the end of the night, you go home, life goes on..The only thing in the past I don't text them back , I just let them assume it was a one night thing .. I don't do it to get laid.. I already have 1-2 fwb that are std safe.. All I am doing is looking for that candidate for a POTENTIAL RELATIONSHIP... You not taking it seriously so you assume the women are doing the same thing and your shocked and amazed when they want some feedback on how the date actually went? your in essence playing with these womens feelings/minds why not just stick to your fwbs? Oh, and when we were at the sports bar, she's like, crap I gave up a date with another guy for Saturday and we were going to the baseball game (all in good humor and laughing), but she's got her alternatives as well, she's hot looking, so I am sure no problem getting over it... Ok fair enough that might very well be true but I think she would have every right to feel led on and as if it was a waist of her time. If you knew she def wasn't your cup of tea why go to a whine bar after chills? Why even drag it out? why not just say hey I had a nice time after the meal and then part ways? dating isent a game IMO anyways this is why people are so frustrated when it comes to dating in general so many head games who needs it I'm not trying to judge you or be harsh op but seriously try to think of others as well as yourself next time how would you want to be treated? WOMEN do it ALL the time... So and your point being people do rude/wrong stuff all the time yes but 2 wrongs rarely ever make a right
elaina Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 Am I the only one who thinks getting a text message like that from a girl the next morning after a first date SCREAMS of insecurity? Even if the OP had intended to see her beyond the first date, he sure as hell won't anymore after getting a text like that. She's already dictating to him how she feels she deserves to be treated, and is doing it in a very snobby, needy way. And even if he had texted or called her that night to see if she was ok, like she asked, we would be telling the OP that he shouldn't have been too forward and he likely scared her off. I think it's all just very strange, the whole thing. Maybe it's cause I'm old - I'm 33, but this mentality of the op to go on a date with a girl and then throw her away without even telling her seems so different than how I personally think relationships are built. Friendship is an awesome thing, and I really appreciate my friends who are male. To go on a date however and then no longer contact that person implies that friendship is sadly missing, as well as respect for the other person's feelings. OP, were you friends with this girl before the date?
meerkat stew Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 why go to a whine bar This thread is a whine bar. OP did nothing wrong. Oh wait, now I see, he was supposed to come around with a glass slipper that fits her foot and live happily ever after. How silly of me to forget that. For shame! alexlakeman, for shame! for not treating all your first dates like the charter members of the principessa club that they are.
elaina Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 Ahh this is right up my alley! Maybe someone can enlighten me on this post, why a guy would spend 15 hours talking to me on the phone prior to the date, then spend 7 hours at dinner/drinks/mall/his house watching tv, initiating several kisses in the car, at least an hour of making out on the couch, kissing my forehead, rubbing my back, holding my hand, looking at me with that look of interest, only to text me the next day and say "didn't feel the chemistry I expected/wanted." WTF?! Talk about mixed signals! While I've accepted that this guy just wasn't feeling it, why do men do all these things if they aren't interested, and then us women get called the crazy ones?! It doesn't add up! That is perplexing. I am starting to wonder if guys who are into dating women who they do not know on a deeper level first (as in friendship) do not really know how many women think?
Gallaxia Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 This thread is a whine bar. OP did nothing wrong. Oh wait, now I see, he was supposed to come around with a glass slipper that fits her foot and live happily ever after. How silly of me to forget that. For shame! alexlakeman, for shame! for not treating all your first dates like the charter members of the principessa club that they are. Wow. Who even said that? You have an interesting measure for common decency and respect. It's no different than accidentally bumping into someone at the store and saying "excuse me".
SpanksTheMonkey Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 This thread is a whine bar. OP did nothing wrong. Oh wait, now I see, he was supposed to come around with a glass slipper that fits her foot and live happily ever after. How silly of me to forget that. For shame! alexlakeman, for shame! for not treating all your first dates like the charter members of the principessa club that they are. Who said he has to treat them like princesses? I don't remember saying that unless you consider treating women with basic respect to be "treating them like princesses"? totally odd response indeed..
Mme. Chaucer Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 I am not going to address the text from the girl. Alex, your original post and many of your subsequent ones show a gleeful disrespect and sort of a pathetic power trip regarding your approach to dating, as I read them. I believe that most of us who take exception to your situation are reacting to this tone more than the situation. Her "tits" weren't good enough for you? A or B cup? Why do you share this here? Something imperfect about her bottom teeth? Who cares? You knew you were going to "launch" her? Nice way of thinking about a girl with whom you've been spending a fun evening and smooching with. You'll show her, eh? Your frequent "women do it all the time, lol" comments. Again, who cares? It's gross no matter who does it. You can deny it all you want, but I get the clear picture that you wanted this good looking girl to think you liked her so you could have the "pleasure" of dissing her. You're gonna teach the women a lesson, aren't you? Whether she is a bunny boiling psycho, a needy clingon, an entitlement princess or whatever is not relevant. You used a fellow human being and treated that person with disrespect. Really, guys who make out with girls they don't like ... not cool. This is not high school. The least you could have done was let her know at the end of the date that you would not be contacting her for another rather that leave her hanging and thinking that you two had "connected." But that would not have fulfilled your mission, would it? Your behavior was nasty and your reveling in it here is even worse. You are not going to find a girl with whom to have a good relationship. The "relationship material" girls don't like guys who would behave this way. I hope you find one with just the right breasts and perfect teeth who plays you like you played this girl. After all, women do it all the time. Lol.
meerkat stew Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 Wow. Who even said that? You have an interesting measure for common decency and respect. It's no different than accidentally bumping into someone at the store and saying "excuse me". Who said he has to treat them like princesses? I don't remember saying that unless you consider treating women with basic respect to be "treating them like princesses"? totally odd response indeed.. 1. Ya'll are the ones making statements that not contacting a first date to see if she got home safely is a lack of basic manners, a ridiculous standard to expect of men after first dates. The exception would be if he had picked her up at her house and something prevented him from taking her back himself. Women are completely capable of getting home safely on their own, and unless they are generally getting "did you get home safe" calls from family or work on a nightly basis, expecting it of first dates is ridiculous. It's a gesture, like paying for a first date, not an obligation. 2. Others want to jump on OP for his "gleeful tone" in describing his date's imperfections. I can cite dozens and dozens of such threads by women here microanalyzing their date's features, yet no one gets their feathers ruffled in those threads. OP merely expresses his honest feelings. If he doesn't like her tits, he doesn't like her tits, so what? 3. Another bogus line of reasoning is that he is somehow "leading her on" by kissing her and flirting with her on the date, yet not asking her out again. This is reminiscent of the disgusting old rape defense "she was dressed like a whore, so she was sending signals and deserved what she got." Neither men nor women are obligated to second date anyone no matter how far they go physically on the first date. People have the right to change their minds or feelings. Better that than to keep dating someone and build -true- expectations. 4. But the real princess mentality in this thread is displayed by posters who claim that by kissing and flirting with the woman he was somehow "taking" something from her and somehow "owes" her something in return, which is absurd. Whatever consensual things a man and woman decide to do on a date are presumably mutually pleasant, not a "gift" from one to the other.
LondonS Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 You sound angry... lol.. if my threads bother you, don't click when you see them, lol... wow, I didn't know senior citezenship just went down 20-30 years, lol... At least you bump up my threads, so keep reading and responding angrily, I just realized you are the one keeping my threads on the first page.. thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!! wow a 40+ man getting orgasms seeing his thread on the first page for all the wrong reasons...pathetic is an under statement.. the whole point is that you need to be mature enough not to talk about women the way you do....if they are stupid enough to date you, text you or even bother with a tramp like you.. now Goodbye, I have wasted enough seconds posting to you..
Mme. Chaucer Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 (edited) 1. Ya'll are the ones making statements that not contacting a first date to see if she got home safely is a lack of basic manners, a ridiculous standard to expect of men after first dates. It's a gesture, like paying for a first date, not an obligation. Yes, it is one of those types of gestures practiced by quality people. 2. Others want to jump on OP for his "gleeful tone" in describing his date's imperfections. You must mean me. I was referring, in fact, to his "gleeful tone" in recounting how he purposely got her interested in him while all the time planning to "launch" her. "Women do it all the time. Lol." I would really enjoy it if the OP would post a photo of himself here for critique. A guy with such exacting standards for a woman's physical appearance must be a veritable god; I'd like to feast my eyes upon his glorious self. I can cite dozens and dozens of such threads by women here microanalyzing their date's features, yet no one gets their feathers ruffled in those threads. Cite some, please. I can think of one that's current, and she is getting a lot of criticism. If the women posting showed such a boorish and ignorant arrogance as this mid-life crisis poster boy does, I would have my feathers ruffled. A woman can be a creepy loser as well as a man can - fortunately for the OP. He'll find an appropriate match with someone who has the same level of class that he does. But the real princess mentality in this thread is displayed by posters who claim that by kissing and flirting with the woman he was somehow "taking" something from her and somehow "owes" her something in return, which is absurd. Whatever consensual things a man and woman decide to do on a date are presumably mutually pleasant, not a "gift" from one to the other. I certainly don't think anybody "owes" their date anything. I believe that an honorable, cool, desirable stand-up MAN would not EVER be in this situation, and absolutely not be gloating about such a thing on the Internets. That's for insecure middle school boys. Admirable grown up men and women treat other human beings with respect and if they don't feel that someone's worthy of respect, they do not waste their time there. One more thing - yeah, I said I was not going to address the spurned date's text. More than one of you has said that it "screams of insecurity." I agree. I am quite certain that the ONLY women who Alex is going to get to play along with his little game are going to be extremely insecure and needy ones. And I'm pretty sure that these texts are the very outcome he desires in his quest to "make women pay." Edited August 25, 2010 by Mme. Chaucer forgot
WintersNightTraveler Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 Does anyone disagree that the phrase "what did I do that you didn't like?" in the text 12 hours after the date implies that the lady probably had low confidence, was way too into this guy quickly, or some combination of the two? What anyone thinks of the OP's tone and attitude is a matter of taste. It just seems so obvious to me that the motivation on the part of the women to send that text was largely based on her insecurities, not the OP's insidious, cruel and irresistable seduction techniques. Also everyone discusses tits and teeth in the real world, even women.
Art_Critic Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 (edited) Does anyone disagree that the phrase "what did I do that you didn't like?" in the text 12 hours after the date implies that the lady probably had low confidence, was way too into this guy quickly, or some combination of the two? I disagree.. What is missing to make that determination is how much we haven't been told. The OP has made it clear that he hasn't told us everything so I would think that he implied more than he is letting on, that he also made it sound like he would call.. The OP has also made it clear that she was used.. so there is more to the setup that we haven't heard Edited August 25, 2010 by Art_Critic
WintersNightTraveler Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 I disagree.. What is missing to make that determination is how much we haven't been told. The OP has made it clear that he hasn't told us everything so I would think that he implied more than he is letting on, that he also made it sound like he would call.. The OP has also made it clear that she was used.. so there is more to the setup that we haven't heard In order to say she has low confidence the playing field would have had to be level and since she was there honorably to find someone she could date and he wasn't then it isn't a level playing field. Give me a break. Unless he slipped her some love potion #9 there is no good reason to send a text asking "what did I do that you didn't like?" a mere 12 hours later. It just screams out "doormat". Her lack of confidence is not his doing, regardless of whether he is a jerk or not. A text like "hey, how are you doing" is fine. It's the "what did I do that you didn't like" that everyone is ignoring, and it's the most telling thing in the whole original post (I am assuming this was the exact text since the OP quoted it).
Art_Critic Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 Give me a break. I don't have to give you a break.. I'm using the OP's own posts to make up my opinion..
Mme. Chaucer Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 I would be willing to bet that when he said goodnight to her, he made quite sure that she would have every reason to expect to hear from him again, soon. I would also bet that he'll deny this. But clearly "tricking" her was his agenda. Women do it all the time. Lol. Yes, she sounds insecure and needy. Just the perfect type for this middle aged boy's game. Who else would have spent a whole evening with this clown, eating up whatever lame stuff he was offering her? Most of us aren't very focussed on her text, though - Alex just mentioned it at the very end of his long and detailed post about how he judged her, used her, purposely led her on, while happily knowing that she was destined for "launching" as of the first moment.
WintersNightTraveler Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 I don't have to give you a break.. I'm using the OP's own posts to make up my opinion.. OK but will you kindly explain why you disagree with the statement I asked about (that the text implied neediness and/or an attraction imbalance). I was not asking anyone to change their opinion on his douchbaginess or lack thereof. I don't care if he's a jerk, I just don't think it's as relevant to why she texted the next day as some other people here seem to. Even Mme. C agreed on that neediness thing: Yes, she sounds insecure and needy
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