Art_Critic Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 Rememeber.... "women do it alllllllllllllllll the time". Dude.. show some balls.. Own what you do.. don't justify by blame shifting.. that is just a immature stance to take on things in life... If you date like this then so what.. you aren't really doing anything horribly wrong but at least say you do it because that is who you are instead of saying "women do it to".. you aren't 12 years old..
phineas Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 I find the whole text thing interesting. I really don't care for texting. The woman I was just friends with for a while said the same thing but texted me ALL THE TIME. Then when we figured out we both actually liked each other *poof*. The blessed silence from a cell phone no longer beeping! LOL! Every time I was leaving her house at night she'd text me to see if I got home ok like just as I pulled in the drive-way (its a 40 min drive). She'd call me all the time at night after the kids went to bed. ect. it started to get annoying. Now she knows I like her its as if she needs less validation? Which is good because I was thinking she was an insecure clinger.
alyssatranswarrior Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 (edited) I strongly believe this man-type is why so many women have words similar to "looking for a geniune guy, no games please, sick of jerks" in their online dating profiles. They are always good looking girls who have these words typed. Adults (if we can be that generous) who wine and dine girls all year long with a faux-charm "scripted" mentality under the umbrella of finding a date - he even openly admits he will use the SAME style with every girl lol mowing through dozens of good looking girls barely knowing them and deciding immediately they apparently aren't matched via this single date that never changes to meet each one. It's as though you think good first dates is some noble achievement you have bestowed upon women who you want to ditch. You have your guard up so much that you are playing a role of a "gentlemen", this phoney act that no girl is ever going to know you, and when they do they will see this first date you gave was a sham. I'm glad you got the text, it proves you are doing something wrong in a pretty big way. You just can't face how deceitful you act and how much it hurts your own chances for love, which is a shame. Edited August 22, 2010 by alyssatranswarrior
carhill Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 Why would any man wine and dine women, plowing through his disposable income, to purposely, and with forethought, reject them out of hand? The OP's story reminded me of many dates I've had with women over the years, as well as the advances of some married women, and the clear difference was I paid for their pleasure of rejecting me in exactly the same fashion. On the date, they knew a second one wouldn't happen, but they enjoyed my company and my generosity for the date. That's life.
Author alexlakeman Posted August 22, 2010 Author Posted August 22, 2010 LOL, if I would've tried to sleep with her and succeded then I would be an azz.. and if I take her out we BOTH have a great time, and I am myslef (what you see is what you get).. it's bad too? LOL TRUST ME... you know if there's chemistry or not within the first date, but what are you going to do when you decide that there's no chemistry? "check please", and run? LOL, not just continue on with the night, I had nothing else to do... PLUS, I let her know the next day, remember, so it's not like I left her hanging... so there's no credit for that? LOL Game playing? Of course not, on the contrary. I want a relationship, so why go further if I already feel it's not a relationship potential woman to my liking? Where was the leading on? I didn't tell her "i'll call you tommorrow"...
Cracker Jack Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 I honestly don't see a problem in your actions.
RecordProducer Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 I don't think the kissing is the problem. I think she is really disappointed that you were such a jackass for not seeing that your date got safe home. Even if you didn't click at all, it's a matter of good manners to call or text and make sure she's OK after a date with YOU. Don't bother telling her you didn't think you were right for each other - she already told you that you were not right for her. Thank her for the free lesson in good manners. While you're playing a macho guy who kisses and then leaves, gentlemen who are sweet score the best girls. You sound 17 to me. I hope you are because it'd be really sad if you're actually over 25.
Author alexlakeman Posted August 22, 2010 Author Posted August 22, 2010 I thought this was in my first post... when we left she said "i'm calling my sister or mom, and I'll call you in a minute".... so ball's in her park, she told ME she would call ME... end of story... :bunny: Don't microanalyze it, that's why some people are so bitter, lol, chill out.. y so sensitive? Has it happend to some women here?
RecordProducer Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 you know if there's chemistry or not within the first date, but what are you going to do when you decide that there's no chemistry? "check please", and run? LOL, not just continue on with the night, I had nothing else to do...You do sound like you have nothing else to do! Where was the leading on? I didn't tell her "i'll call you tommorrow"...Leading on means you're leading her on TODAY - not "tommorrow."
carhill Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 I recently dated a nice lady about my age. We didn't have enough mutual interest in each other to continue, but did go out on 3 enjoyable dates. She was a fully formed 47 y/o with a 23 y/o son and drove a big girl pickup and even had a big girl travel trailer and boat she took to the lake and had been divorced about eight years. IME, this is typical of women I meet. They are independent, educated, worldly women. Stbx was/is one. I spent a good fifteen years being the doting gentleman, silently plodding along doing what I *thought* was the right thing, and having zero luck with women. Once I changed, and began treating them more as mature, functional, secure equals with whom intimacy could be developed *eventually* and where such actions as checking up on them were *earned* over time, I became more successful at dating and eventually married. I recall, during my unhealthy period with the friend in my journals, reverting back to that prior, doting, gentlemanly methodology, and she found it patently annoying, and told me so. That may have been specific to her, but the reminder was a good one. Perhaps the OP can learn a few tips from the constructive criticism received here; I commend him for being honest about the details and perspectives he shared. Perhaps, with the right woman, at the right time, all those 'gentlemanly' behaviors will be natural and well-received. Compatible.
You'reasian Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 Oh, and when we were at the sports bar, she's like, crap I gave up a date with another guy for Saturday and we were going to the baseball game (all in good humor and laughing), but she's got her alternatives as well, she's hot looking, so I am sure no problem getting over it... WOMEN do it ALL the time... Dating is all fun and "games"... Women act like they don't play and we're all jerks...lol
Author alexlakeman Posted August 22, 2010 Author Posted August 22, 2010 Dating is all fun and "games"... Women act like they don't play and we're all jerks...lol Thank you... I guess some people here have selective reading, lol... The girls don't seem to remember that when they go on first dates they do similar things (ie, tell a freind, "hey call me at 8pm, in case the date is going bad, I'll tell him it's my freind and I have to go pick her up, etc.., lol... Well, I'll be in New Hampshire and New York this week, so we'll see how the women are up there, lol... you now with my match account, I think it allows you to search other specific areas, lol...
carhill Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 The girls don't seem to remember that when they go on first dates they do similar things (ie, tell a freind, "hey call me at 8pm, in case the date is going bad, I'll tell him it's my friend and I have to go pick her up, etc.., lol...Totally forgot until reading this....in my above anecdote, on our last date, we happened to 'run into' some female co-workers of hers at the movie theater. What a coincidence it was that they were sitting by the exit as we were leaving. Or was it?
Tres Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 Thank you... I guess some people here have selective reading, lol... The girls don't seem to remember that when they go on first dates they do similar things (ie, tell a freind, "hey call me at 8pm, in case the date is going bad, I'll tell him it's my freind and I have to go pick her up, etc.., lol... Well, I'll be in New Hampshire and New York this week, so we'll see how the women are up there, lol... you now with my match account, I think it allows you to search other specific areas, lol... Lucky women in NY and New Hampshire! There are going to have free dinners and free drinks
LondonS Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 This guy the thread starter is in his 40ies, yet I am tired of childish threads by him... seriously, grow up and get a life rather than posting your little dates and after events here... pathetic !! next dont snog a "chick" if you already know you are not going to see her again.. I am surprised women let idiots like you kiss them so easily..
meerkat stew Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 This guy the thread starter is in his 40ies, yet I am tired of childish threads by him... seriously, grow up and get a life rather than posting your little dates and after events here... pathetic !! next dont snog a "chick" if you already know you are not going to see her again.. I am surprised women let idiots like you kiss them so easily.. There are exactly -two- childish things in this thread: 1. Sending an insecurity laden text after a first date. 2. Running to tar and feather OP when he did absolutely nothing wrong. Consensual kissing, even sex, can and does take place on many many first dates. It obligates NEITHER party of EITHER gender to do or continue ANYTHING. It's a man's prerogative to change his mind. When two people meet out on a date, and depart in the same fashion, there's no obligation running either way to find out if they got home safe, none whatsoever, and I know and have dated women who would think such inquiries were condescending, patronizing and maybe a bit creepy. Does her -daddy- call every night to make sure princess is home safe on her pillowtop? Does security at work call to make sure she is cheerily sipping chamomile with her stuffed animals while reading the latest "Twilight" novel? Likely not, and likely most secure, mature women wouldn't appreciate such treatment. Despite everything culture tells women today, equality isn't some "add-on" to how women have been traditionally treated, not a newfound bounty of largesse, but rather a fundamental -change- of the dynamic. You don't get to -keep- what you had and get all the new stuff too. Doesn't work that way... well except on Sex and the City or Desperate Housewives. If someone is the type to take early kissing or sex that emotionally, perhaps they shouldn't be kissing STRANGERS on a first date or jumping in strange beds. There is no "child" in OP's scenario deserving of protection or special treatment, merely an equal adult capable of making their own choices. The double standards in the expectations men are held to v women in early dating are ridiculous and outrageous, as such are reflected here on LS, and the statement "owning up to" doesn't apply to OP in any way.
Tayla Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 There are exactly -two- childish things in this thread: 1. Sending an insecurity laden text after a first date. 2. Running to tar and feather OP when he did absolutely nothing wrong. Consensual kissing, even sex, can and does take place on many many first dates. It obligates NEITHER party of EITHER gender to do or continue ANYTHING. It's a man's prerogative to change his mind. When two people meet out on a date, and depart in the same fashion, there's no obligation running either way to find out if they got home safe, none whatsoever, and I know and have dated women who would think such inquiries were condescending, patronizing and maybe a bit creepy. Does her -daddy- call every night to make sure princess is home safe on her pillowtop? Does security at work call to make sure she is cheerily sipping chamomile with her stuffed animals while reading the latest "Twilight" novel? Likely not, and likely most secure, mature women wouldn't appreciate such treatment. Despite everything culture tells women today, equality isn't some "add-on" to how women have been traditionally treated, not a newfound bounty of largesse, but rather a fundamental -change- of the dynamic. You don't get to -keep- what you had and get all the new stuff too. Doesn't work that way... well except on Sex and the City or Desperate Housewives. If someone is the type to take early kissing or sex that emotionally, perhaps they shouldn't be kissing STRANGERS on a first date or jumping in strange beds. There is no "child" in OP's scenario deserving of protection or special treatment, merely an equal adult capable of making their own choices. The double standards in the expectations men are held to v women in early dating are ridiculous and outrageous, as such are reflected here on LS, and the statement "owning up to" doesn't apply to OP in any way. I disagree, because I am a responsible well mannered adult. I hold adults accountable with the same expectations. If I am hosting a party I will call my guests to thank them and hope they made it home safely. Same thing different scenario.....One can politely check up on the safety of others...Its not an insult, it shows concern in a genuine manner. Enuff said.
Author alexlakeman Posted August 23, 2010 Author Posted August 23, 2010 This guy the thread starter is in his 40ies, yet I am tired of childish threads by him... seriously, grow up and get a life rather than posting your little dates and after events here... pathetic !! next dont snog a "chick" if you already know you are not going to see her again.. I am surprised women let idiots like you kiss them so easily.. You sound like an angry and bitter person,.. hope you are not like that in real life, lol:bunny::bunny:
Gallaxia Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 I disagree, because I am a responsible well mannered adult. I hold adults accountable with the same expectations. If I am hosting a party I will call my guests to thank them and hope they made it home safely. Same thing different scenario.....One can politely check up on the safety of others...Its not an insult, it shows concern in a genuine manner. Enuff said. Correct. And by OP not doing that, the girl could have assessed it as him not having the manners she requires & counted that against him. Not: ask him why he didn't call her.She didn't need to call him to figure that out. In this instance, I believe it did her a disservice. But that's just me.
WintersNightTraveler Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 I read her text... "ok thanks, you're probably right.. but can you tell me why...and why can't we just be freinds".... Curious. Did you reply to this?
LondonS Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 You sound like an angry and bitter person,.. hope you are not like that in real life, lol:bunny::bunny: Please keep all your hopes for your next dating saga... where the lady might have "high mileage" than you'd like or some other problem.. I just dont like senior citizens acting like teenagers which you seem to be doing- atleast what I gathered from last 2-3 threads that I have noticed by you...
carhill Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 OK, so now 40's is senior-citizen land. Hell, I must be dead
meerkat stew Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 I disagree, because I am a responsible well mannered adult. I hold adults accountable with the same expectations. If I am hosting a party I will call my guests to thank them and hope they made it home safely. Same thing different scenario.....One can politely check up on the safety of others...Its not an insult, it shows concern in a genuine manner. Enuff said. No, not "enuff said." You don't seem to understand the difference between a nice gesture and an obligation. Calling to see that someone made it home safe can be a nice gesture in certain circumstances, but never an obligation. OP is being treated in this thread as if it is an obligation.
meerkat stew Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 Please keep all your hopes for your next dating saga... where the lady might have "high mileage" than you'd like or some other problem.. I just dont like senior citizens acting like teenagers which you seem to be doing- atleast what I gathered from last 2-3 threads that I have noticed by you... Posters of both genders and all ages post their dating experiences here, many dissecting traits or actions of their dates in plain, honest language. Perhaps you need to work out why that is so offensive to you personally.
Author alexlakeman Posted August 24, 2010 Author Posted August 24, 2010 Please keep all your hopes for your next dating saga... where the lady might have "high mileage" than you'd like or some other problem.. I just dont like senior citizens acting like teenagers which you seem to be doing- atleast what I gathered from last 2-3 threads that I have noticed by you... You sound angry... lol.. if my threads bother you, don't click when you see them, lol... wow, I didn't know senior citezenship just went down 20-30 years, lol... At least you bump up my threads, so keep reading and responding angrily, I just realized you are the one keeping my threads on the first page.. thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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