TwiztidNIN Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 I am 22 yrs old started a new job about 2 months ago working at a business with approximately 30-35 people. I have met a guy there (he's 23). He's cute, sweet, funny, and we've become good friends. We e-mail each other at work, chat online at nite almost every day, and we've hung out a couple times. I went to college for computers and he is an IT/Tech. We have so much in common, it kind of scares me because I would like to possibly have this relationship go further, but I'm not sure if it is a good idea since we work together and all. Can anyone give me any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
squirrels Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 I started dating a co-worker 5 months after he started and it is the best relationship we've both ever had. You just have to be careful. I've never had problems working with him because we're both really laid back, but you may want to avoid an at-work relationship because of the fact that some people can criticize the other's job performance. Also, it's possible for your relationship problems to be brought into the office, and at-work relationships don't usually look good in the eyes of the boss. So, think about those issues and hopefully that'll help you make a decision Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 For two people who work together and are very mature, dating is no problem. It's when the relationship terminates that the "working together" part becomes awkward and uncomfortable. Nowadays, the only place a lot of people have for meeting people is at the workplace. Go for it just in case this guy is your Mr. Right. But if he's not, lay some ground rules down early on so that if there's an ending it won't be nasty and the two of you can continue to work together in peace and harmony. Link to post Share on other sites
silk_sword Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 tricky situation. i would say no. u r really young and so is he. there is a good possibility it won't work, but then again he could be mr. right (right for u that is). it's a big risk, because if u both break up then u'd still have to work with him day in and day out. decide whether or not u could or would want to do that. hmmm, but ultimately it's your choice. good luck!!! Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 I DEFINITELY say no. You JUST started there. Play it safe. Don't mix business with pleasure. It rarely works. Link to post Share on other sites
tphillip Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 ABSOLUTELY NOT! If the relationship goes south, expect a lot of problems in the work place from that point on. Depending on the people involved, the pain of the failed relationship can turn into petty bickering and bad office politics. It could also turn into a lawsuit, given today's need to sue. Keep any relationship at work at a professional level. Otherwise you're playing with a fire that can not only burn you badly where you work now, but burn you in your career as well. Link to post Share on other sites
jester Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 The workplace is a huge meeting place for men and women. Every day, male and female co-workers , who find one another attractive, flirt, talk and just relate at work. Work is a great place to take the measure of the person. Much more so than at a bar. Just bear in mind that if it all goes south, work will turn from heaven into hell in a split second. But what's life without a little risk. I say, go for it. But I suspect you already are doing that. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 You might want to make sure your company doesn't have a policy against coworkers dating before you dive into anything... Link to post Share on other sites
Girlie Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 I try to avoid that. Never get your meat where you get your bread, so to speak. Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 It might seem exciting to work with someone you're involved with, but are you open to being the subject of office gossip? You are a new employee, immediatley dating a co worker might not be the best way to impress other people. You might keep the relationship a secret, but chances are that others will catch on. What if you two have an argument or break up? Do you want this stress added to you day to day work? It's just not a good idea in the long run. Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 If you DO end up going out with him, DO NOT TELL ANYONE. Keep it to yourselves. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 say it goes sour, how hard would it be for you to find a new job? good luck, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Mr X Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 Oh God.... Don't get me started. Been there, done that, not doing THAT again. Things were a little more interesting for me...I was her supervisor. For you guys reading that may remember Vixen...Its me, the snooper, but we've discussed that already. Just trust me...its not a good thing. Mr X Link to post Share on other sites
longlegzs80 Posted February 18, 2004 Share Posted February 18, 2004 About the dating thing. I really think it depends on the job. Some jobs do not want you to date coworkers or clients of the company. But it all depends I suppose. Too, I think it is great that you found someone who you click with. I would say go for it, but you have to think about the company and what their rules are as far as dating goes in the workplace. Sorry for not being much help. But, if you and this guy click so well, ask him if there is any dating restrictions about dating someone from work? Or ask another coworker. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted February 18, 2004 Share Posted February 18, 2004 The reason people feel very strongly about your question....is because each person has different results with it. Much like Tony said....it depends on the two people involved. It can bloom into a great relationship. Or it can come back to really bite you. I would think the best thing to do...if you really want to go out with this guy....is for both of you to discuss it early on. Something like....we both work together....so let's take this slow....so we can remain friends if we see we aren't quite right for each other. Make sure you have a 'stable' relationship before trying intimacy. That way there isn't a problem if he blabs afterwards. HAHA! Also, you may want to check to see what the company policy is for fraternization. Some companies allow it....some don't. Statistically though, most adult couples DO meet at the work place. Link to post Share on other sites
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted February 18, 2004 Share Posted February 18, 2004 Also, you may want to check to see what the company policy is for fraternization. Some companies allow it....some don't f*** the company policy, if i met a girl i liked i wouldn't let anything stand in the way, especially a job... here in Ireland any policies like that would be laughed at! its only a job! i'm not american by the way so work is not the most important aspect of my life whatsoever... family and relationships are! Link to post Share on other sites
jester Posted February 18, 2004 Share Posted February 18, 2004 Didn't Wal-Mart have some idiotic policy prohibiting its employees from dating? I agree that's fascist especially as applied to equals. It smacks of intrusive paternalism. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr X Posted February 18, 2004 Share Posted February 18, 2004 A situation like mine was, is usually forbidden in large corprorations. This, however, was a retail chain with 24 stores to its name. Because of my position, we tried to keep it hush hush, but as I have recently discovered EVERYBODY knew. Mr X Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted February 18, 2004 Share Posted February 18, 2004 When I worked for British Airways.....fraternization was a BIG NO NO!!!! People still did it....but kept it quiet. Where I work nowthough, several couples have gotten married who met on the job. Link to post Share on other sites
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted February 18, 2004 Share Posted February 18, 2004 fascist indeed it is... just like in Nazi Germany they wouldn't let the master race inter relate with others OR in 1950's / 1960's America in the southern states e.g. buses were segregated as if you'd let a stinking company tell you that you couldn't date possibly the love of your life f*** them all!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted February 18, 2004 Share Posted February 18, 2004 i could imagine you as a stewardess Arabess! you have the look although aren't half of the male airline staff homosexual? maybe that is why they had that policy? i can't see what harm it would do to impose a daft policy like that and as you say people generally ignore it anyway Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted February 18, 2004 Share Posted February 18, 2004 HEY.....I'm the BOMB at handing out peanuts and Vodka-Collins......HAHAHAHA! .........yeppers about the gay stewards.........! Link to post Share on other sites
longlegzs80 Posted February 18, 2004 Share Posted February 18, 2004 Your basicly taking a risk if you date someone from work. But as I have said it depends on the company policy. I know if I was in my field, dating coworkers or clients is a BIG BIG BIG BIG NO NO. You could risk your job, but hey if you don't care about your job and just into dating this guy then so be it. I agree with ARABESS, it could come back to you if people at the company find out or if there is any problems in the relationship that it could effect your productivity on the job or whatever. Its just an overall not a great idea to be dating, but I have never been in a situation like this. So, personally, I think you need to fight the tempation and stay friends, go out, have fun but strictly be only friends so it don't effect your job whatsoever. Link to post Share on other sites
longlegzs80 Posted February 18, 2004 Share Posted February 18, 2004 I can see ARABESS as a sturdeus. Sorry for the misspelling. Was the pay good money? Just curious. Link to post Share on other sites
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted February 18, 2004 Share Posted February 18, 2004 i think it is only appropriate to have such policies for certain jobs such as teachers and college students or therapists and clients etc. Your basicly taking a risk if you date someone from work it is a risk anyway as you risk hurting yourself, most lines of work i can't see this would matter whatsoever Link to post Share on other sites
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