Reconciliation sex...the best ever!!!

[fooled once]

Well, I have to say I thought the OP was a joke at first. When I read responses I realized it was serious. So I went back over some of your older posts and remembered some I've read for a few months and have come to the conclusion it appears you're trying to convince yourself how wonderful life is now.

 

I said it appears.

 

You say things about their sex being boring and someone countered it-what makes you think you can believe him anymore than the OW should have. My ex MM made nicey nice with his W 2 times and the second time it went on for 3 years before I got tired of it all. She didn't have a clue what was going on and I don't know to this day if she does. All the BS say that no one knows what goes on in a M, well no one knows what goes on in an A either.

 

You come across as protesting too much quite often. I hope it's all as rosy and wonderful as you say it is.

 

As for R sex or A sex. I found A sex was much better. R sex was wonderful, but there was always a point I laid there and looked at the man who betrayed me like no other. Pretty well spoiled anything else that had gone on. I finally gave up because I found myself doing just what it appears you are-trying to convince myself. Know who finally showed me that? A gay friend who had been in the closet most of his life. He told me I was acting just like he had been before he admitted he couldn't admit what his life really was.

 

I hope you truly are as happy as you say, but I doubt it. I know my opinion really doesn't matter and that's fine. My opinion and I hope I'm wrong.

 

Isn't what matters is that she is happy? Is what matters is that her and her H have reconciled?

 

Why do you need to post this kind of post here? This isn't the OW forum, this is the infidelity board. Just as OW/OM want 'support', don't you think the BS want support too? This kind of post just screams the opposite of support.

 

Why lie to the OW in the midst of an A? To keep things going. I'm not saying that's your experience. I'm saying that's my perception and it's why I could never trust anyone who cheated on me.

 

I have read your posts and find you very intelligent and empathetic and one who plays the devils advocate at times. However, there are times when you seem to go ott about how perfect and wonderful it all is. I site Seren and Snow Flower as two who put across their new relationships in a manner that isn't quite so ott. This may be simply your writing style or that you are truly showing the joy in your heart at that moment. It appears false and ott to me. That doesn't mean I want anything bad in your life whatsoever.

 

again....how are you to know what goes on in Spark's marriage and reconciliation? Why do you have to throw dirt on Spark's thread? Can't you just be happy for her or choose to not post your pessimistic thoughts?

 

Isn't what is said all the time that ACTIONS speak louder than words? In Sparks situation, her h's actions spoke volumes -- that he wanted to reconcile their marriage and he wanted HER. How come that is such a bad thing to some OW? That a BS and her H have chosen to make a good, honest go of their marriage??? Is it perhaps jealousy?

[jennie-jennie]

I noticed that too. If it hadn't been quoted we wouldn't have seen it.

 

I was surprised too. I would have thought JB to give kudos on this thread.

 

Jilly Bean is an interesting poster. She says what she believes whichever way it goes.

[seren]

Hey Spark, glad it's going so well. I get the shouting it from the rooftops, woo hoo! feeling. I was at a friends the other afternoon, these are new friends who don't know about H's A and they were all asking how we managed to be so in tune, in love and so happy together after being married for so long. They all said that it was so obvious that we were in love, that we both adored each other. They went on to talk about how they felt in a rut and that passion had flown out of the window. A part of me thought, that was me at one time, that was me that missed the romance kind of love and so wanted it, as did they. I felt guilty that I didn't fess up, but thought, that was then, this is now and this is how it is, with no sign of abating.

 

It has been a very long, often very hard journey, I had never forgot, not for a minute, how I wanted our marriage to be, but once the way was lost, we both forgot who we were and what we had shared. A great and passionate relationship had slipped into a great marriage. I just wanted the relationship bit within the marriage (if that makes sense).

 

After D Day and much hysterical bonding, it settled down into much bonding, not always hysterically, sometimes gently, sometimes bonkers mad, but always with so much love it made my heart bleed at times. I sometimes lie there listening to him make his funny sleepy noises and feel sad that we lost our way, feel sad that it took us almost losing all that we have for the A. I don't minimise the A, he does, and as I have said numerous times here, I wish it had been for a great love, even great sex, but it was what it was.

 

I see H struggle and wrestle with his demons about what he did, I say we cannot change what has happened, but we learn from them. I love our relationship, I love every teeny tiny bit of it and I so, so , love my H, my MM. We flirt, laugh, dance, row, argue, at times have blazing arguments, but underneath we love and we like and we respect.

 

I reckon a long term relationship is like a house, after a while cracks show as the foundations settle, these if not fixed, become huge problems and leave the house shaky and unstable. If you just paint over them, they still come back, if they are fixed, then the foundations settle and the house has chance to become strong again and the foundations strengthened because of them. The memory of the cracked wall never, ever goes away, but knowing that the house almost fell down, makes you deal with cracks straight away to keep it all in order. Moving house was never an option, we love our house, but we have redecorated and it is dammed fine, the foundations are rock solid.

 

Reconciliation sex has become, not so much reconciliation sex, which I think is sometimes like trying to keep getting on a safe bit after a shipwreck, all frantic paddling and swimming like crazy!! Even thought it is very intense, it is now just what is pretty dammed amazing, it always was really. Spark, I love that it is all going great for you and H, if you want to hire a band, fly it from a plane, shout it from the rooftops then that is great. I hope it gives other BS who aren't so far along hope and reassurance that it can work out.

[newdawn]

I am celebrating with you on your reconciliation - what an amazing and rare triumph over the ultimate challenge.

 

I for one could not do it, so kudos to you.

 

I would walk away disgusted, but that's me.

 

You are a better person. Congrats.

[White Flower]

He today is examining how and why his life took a left. He today realizes he can NEVER go back to the legacy of being a faithful loving family man. That's gone forever. .

I disagree, he CAN go back to being the faithful, loving family man; he'll just have one little checkmark against him and it won't be visible as long as there is forgiveness.

[wheelwright]

Okay, so I read that people are curious as to what happens in a marriage when the BS finally decides to reconcile with a fWS.

 

Here's my story:

 

I did not want him back for the sake of the kids, the marriage, the status, the history or the legacy. Not the money either...I make my own.

 

I didn't want him back at all. I told him to go get her; no texts, no pleadings, no begging to stay together for the sake of the kids....NOT ON MY PART! He called. texted constantly, sometimes cried....I hung up on him.

 

I was NOT helpless without him; last kid had gone to college; wasn't staying for the paycheck; had a ton of supportive family and friends, a good job! I LOVED HIM.....but he stopped letting me. That simple.

 

NOTHING of the script he told her, he told himself to justify his affair, was true! And I feel for her, believing his empty promises for 1.5 years, even if I still do not understand a woman who would do this!

 

I was/am a happy person. He was angry and depressed and so sad. Apparently he blamed me and the marriage to his OW; must have worked, but it wasn't true. He was unhappy, yet we had sex twice a week during HIS affair. Go figure.

 

Apparently he lived with her, his soulmate, the one he spoke to his sister about leaving me for, for about three weeks? Not sure. Didn't care; didn't call him; didn't want him.

 

He started showing up at my job, sending flowers, cards, "I love YOU! I can't lose you" texts. "Please talk to me." Tears, dinners, coffee dates...and "what are you doing tonight? Who are you with?"

 

None of your business. Begged me to tell him if I had been with someone else. "None of your business." I hadn't.

 

Meanwhile he tells his OW, his default choice, that our R was going "just okay" and that he was meeting "unwavering hostility." Did not want to lose his Plan B I guess, if I divorced him.

 

I allowed him to eventually take me out to dinner, the finest dining, and we'd talk, he'd cry, I'd cry, we'd laugh and at the end of the evening he'd rip my dress off (sometimes not even getting my dress completely off) and make love to me all night long.

 

Or if I was in one of my rages, he'd remove himself to the couch until the storm passed, but I would wake up to him staring at me, rubbing my back, telling me he loved me and only me, to please forgive him, he'd made such mistake, he didn't love her, he was such an azzhole...

 

We could not keep our hands off each other! Day, night, couch, kitchen, shower, bedroom.....overnight trips every few weekends, spur of the moment adventures all planned by him to win me back! Limosines to wineries, apple-picking and staying at quaint B and Bs, jewelry for no occasion, flowers to the office with the card reading, "I hope it is not too little too late!"

 

Jeez...It has been so painful...but so amazing in it's romance and eroticism and profound intimacy and it all continues to this day.

 

We are deeply in love with each other; emotionally. romantically and physically! We are conquering new frontiers together and realize we belong together; what we have now could never be had with anyone else on the planet.

 

He asked me recently if I would marry him again. He was nervous. And I responded that I loved him and would marry the man he was today; a good man who treats me like a queen.

 

So it has been three hard and painful and wonderful years to both grow and heal and get to this point.

 

But the sex? The sex was always amazing and now, almost transcendent. And it was a huge indicator to me of the health of our relationship and our future success in reconciliation.

 

You just aren't gonna have that connection with too many people in a lifetime.

 

Who agrees with me?

 

Thoughts anyone?

 

I'm very happy for you Spark. You know the right connection when you have it.

 

And it doesn't happen with many people. Well probably only with one.

 

Enjoy! And stop blistering our ears about how good it is

 

She's dust, your H is (finally) there for you. Even the OW on this forum couldn't be more happy for you.

 

I've always thought that M sex is better than any other kind, if you have all the elements present.

[bentnotbroken]

I disagree, he CAN go back to being the faithful, loving family man; he'll just have one little checkmark against him and it won't be visible as long as there is forgiveness.

 

 

He can become a new man with a new marriage, but he can't go back. His affair killed that marriage. They have built a new one:love: because it was what they both really wanted and was willing to work for. It is proof that hard work, forgiveness and love can truly make something new.

[White Flower]

He can become a new man with a new marriage, but he can't go back. His affair killed that marriage. They have built a new one:love: because it was what they both really wanted and was willing to work for. It is proof that hard work, forgiveness and love can truly make something new.

I think we're saying the same thing, only in different ways. But we feel each other.

[Summer Breeze]

Isn't what matters is that she is happy? Is what matters is that her and her H have reconciled?

 

Why do you need to post this kind of post here? This isn't the OW forum, this is the infidelity board. Just as OW/OM want 'support', don't you think the BS want support too? This kind of post just screams the opposite of support.

 

 

 

again....how are you to know what goes on in Spark's marriage and reconciliation? Why do you have to throw dirt on Spark's thread? Can't you just be happy for her or choose to not post your pessimistic thoughts?

 

Isn't what is said all the time that ACTIONS speak louder than words? In Sparks situation, her h's actions spoke volumes -- that he wanted to reconcile their marriage and he wanted HER. How come that is such a bad thing to some OW? That a BS and her H have chosen to make a good, honest go of their marriage??? Is it perhaps jealousy?

 

First of all I am not an OW. I was an OW. I was also a BW.

 

Then-I didn't throw dirt on the thread. I made a comment that some of her posts appear to me to be ott. As I've seen you say so many times we're all allowed our opinions. I never once said I didn't want her happy and I wasn't happy it was working out well. I saw White Flower systematically dismantled a few months ago by many BS when she dared write about a lovely night out she had with her MM. She was taken to the bones on that and there weren't too many celebrating her happiness.

 

They are both intelligent posters and both appear to be good women. I am happy for anyone who finds happiness, but if it comes across to me in a certain way then I'm not shy-I'll mention it.

 

Jealousy, no not a lick. I'm happy she has the internal fortitude to push through the tough times. I couldn't and I would have ended up miserable. Love how you needed to get a little dig in with even less information about me than I had about Spark.

 

Oh and it being the infidelity board v OW, so what. I see the same names everywhere and the only time someone throws that chestnut up is when they're feeling put upon. I think Spark was right that she and I see things very similarly. I respect she was able to do what I couldn't, but once in a while I feel her posts are a bit too animated and are working hard at trying to convince people of things. My opinion.

 

And to add-the whole actions speak louder than words is a crock. We all know that everyone speaks one thing and acts another all through their lives. We know our teenagers can tell us what we want to hear to keep up whatever mischief they're getting into. We all know that sometimes words are more powerful than actions and vice versa. It's like every other saying as that sometimes it's true and sometimes it's not.

Edited August 22, 2010 by Summer Breeze

[Summer Breeze]

I am celebrating with you on your reconciliation - what an amazing and rare triumph over the ultimate challenge.

 

I for one could not do it, so kudos to you.

 

I would walk away disgusted, but that's me.

 

You are a better person. Congrats.

 

No, she's not a better person-she's a different person. What's right for one isn't necessarily right for another.

[jennie-jennie]

Okay, so I read that people are curious as to what happens in a marriage when the BS finally decides to reconcile with a fWS.

 

Originally posted by Jilly Bean

This thread was in response to a fOW posting on being curious about what life is like back at home for her reconciling xMM. I don't think she was speculating on what kind of sex he was having. Yet, this is the topic of your thread? To tout how a reconciled couple has a lot of hot and frequent sex?

I didn't realize that this thread was a response to Oxfordsock's thread on the OW/OM forum. That is . Oxford is truly hurting. Why would anyone want to rub a happy sex life in her face at this painful time of her life?

 

I can understand wanting to tell the good parts of reconciliation, but the timing?

Edited August 22, 2010 by jennie-jennie

[Spark1111]

I didn't realize that this thread was a response to Oxfordsock's thread on the OW/OM forum. That is . Oxford is truly hurting. Why would anyone want to rub a happy sex life in her face at this painful time of her life?

 

I can understand wanting to tell the good parts of reconciliation, but the timing?

 

Who's thread?

 

Are people now taking exception to MY THREAD based on a thread elsewhere?

 

I am rubbing what???

 

I think you are looking for insult and injury where none are intended!!!!

 

You are defending who???? FOr what reason????

 

On the Infidelity Forum???

 

If I posted this elsewhere, yes, it would be insensitive.

 

But how many posters here are congratulating me on our success?

 

Are you kidding me?

 

Now who is taking this personally?

 

PULLEAZE.

[Spark1111]

Spark, I am very happy for you! I share in your joy over what has become a successful reconciliation.

 

 

I for one do not find your OP sophmoric. I find it to be encouraging for any posters here who suffer from betrayal and hope to reconcile at some point after the A. You and your H are an example of how to overcome a major hurdle in a M.

 

Consequently, it may even play into your H's need to be a KISA but that's ok. You're too smart to let him fool you so I'm pretty sure he's entirely sincere.

 

I have found a couple of your posts regarding your H's current feelings toward his exOW interesting and hope you don't mind if I start a new thread on it.

 

 

Thank you WF!

You are always so gracious and kind and I learned so much from you.

 

You are a pretty wise cookies yourself.

[Spark1111]

So odd you've said this. A friend of mine told me yesterday she and her H did the same when trying to R. We joked they were having an EA. That really struck her because she realized at that point how much easier it was to talk to someone with such anonymity, even someone she had been married to for 16 years, so how easy would an EA be to happen and get out of hand. That started quite a chat and opened our eyes a bit.

 

You bet!

 

It was so hard for him to deal with, and so ecessary for me to sort out...that's why the emails started.

 

And it worked really really well!

[Spark1111]

I noticed that too. If it hadn't been quoted we wouldn't have seen it.

 

I was surprised too. I would have thought JB to give kudos on this thread.

 

Well, it wasn't me!

 

I do not alert to anyone ever.

 

Remember that.

[Spark1111]

Thank you new dawn!

 

I cannot seem to find your original post to respond to.

 

I admire anyone who has the courage and strength to make whatever decision is right for them.

 

Whether you stay or go.

[jennie-jennie]

Who's thread?

 

Are people now taking exception to MY THREAD based on a thread elsewhere?

 

I am rubbing what???

 

I think you are looking for insult and injury where none are intended!!!!

 

You are defending who???? FOr what reason????

 

On the Infidelity Forum???

 

If I posted this elsewhere, yes, it would be insensitive.

 

But how many posters here are congratulating me on our success?

 

Are you kidding me?

 

Now who is taking this personally?

 

PULLEAZE.

 

I am not taking it personally. I just thought it was offensive if your thread was a response to Oxfordsock's thread which was insinuated in the posts I quoted earlier. If I was mistaken in that assumption, I apologize.

 

What is with this abundance of question and exclamation marks? God, you are touchy.

Edited August 22, 2010 by jennie-jennie

[jennie-jennie]

You bet!

 

It was so hard for him to deal with, and so ecessary for me to sort out...that's why the emails started.

 

And it worked really really well!

 

Just so you know, sometimes those emails are read aloud to the OW. And the responses too. Not saying that was the case for you two, but it was for us. My MM's email to his wife was just dripping with lies.

[jennie-jennie]

Well, it wasn't me!

 

I do not alert to anyone ever.

 

Remember that.

 

Someone else was looking out for you then. Nice of them.

[Spark1111]

I am not taking it personally. I just thought it was offensive if your thread was a response to Oxfordsock's thread which was insinuated in the posts I quoted earlier. If I was mistaken in that assumption, I apologize.

 

What is with this abundance of question and exclamation marks? God, you are touchy.

 

I resent the "ASSUMPTION" that this is in response to anything other than my own personal feelings.

 

I resent the insinuation.

 

I resent you, once again, assuming the role of LS gatekeeper moderator.

 

If i wanted to respond to oxfordsocks, I would DO SO ON HER THREAD.

 

Please give advice, support or opinion, or constructive discussion on my thread or you can choose to ignore it.

[xxoo]

Are you saying that the best sex requires that one partner to have an affair, in order to have reconciliation sex? What happens in 10 years or so, when the affair is no longer a driving force in your relationship? Less fulfilling sex?

 

Yes, parts are awful and painful; parts are equally joyful and loving.

 

It does not work without the two parts, IMHO.

 

Could you explain this more? Are you saying that relationships need to require some pain in order to provide great joy? I'd respectfully disagree. Well, there is pain in the death of a deeply loved one, but pain in life is not necessary to fully appreciate the joy.

[hunnybea]

Hey Spark, glad it's going so well. I get the shouting it from the rooftops, woo hoo! feeling. I was at a friends the other afternoon, these are new friends who don't know about H's A and they were all asking how we managed to be so in tune, in love and so happy together after being married for so long. They all said that it was so obvious that we were in love, that we both adored each other. They went on to talk about how they felt in a rut and that passion had flown out of the window. A part of me thought, that was me at one time, that was me that missed the romance kind of love and so wanted it, as did they. I felt guilty that I didn't fess up, but thought, that was then, this is now and this is how it is, with no sign of abating.

 

It has been a very long, often very hard journey, I had never forgot, not for a minute, how I wanted our marriage to be, but once the way was lost, we both forgot who we were and what we had shared. A great and passionate relationship had slipped into a great marriage. I just wanted the relationship bit within the marriage (if that makes sense).

 

After D Day and much hysterical bonding, it settled down into much bonding, not always hysterically, sometimes gently, sometimes bonkers mad, but always with so much love it made my heart bleed at times. I sometimes lie there listening to him make his funny sleepy noises and feel sad that we lost our way, feel sad that it took us almost losing all that we have for the A. I don't minimise the A, he does, and as I have said numerous times here, I wish it had been for a great love, even great sex, but it was what it was.

 

I see H struggle and wrestle with his demons about what he did, I say we cannot change what has happened, but we learn from them. I love our relationship, I love every teeny tiny bit of it and I so, so , love my H, my MM. We flirt, laugh, dance, row, argue, at times have blazing arguments, but underneath we love and we like and we respect.

 

I reckon a long term relationship is like a house, after a while cracks show as the foundations settle, these if not fixed, become huge problems and leave the house shaky and unstable. If you just paint over them, they still come back, if they are fixed, then the foundations settle and the house has chance to become strong again and the foundations strengthened because of them. The memory of the cracked wall never, ever goes away, but knowing that the house almost fell down, makes you deal with cracks straight away to keep it all in order. Moving house was never an option, we love our house, but we have redecorated and it is dammed fine, the foundations are rock solid.

 

Reconciliation sex has become, not so much reconciliation sex, which I think is sometimes like trying to keep getting on a safe bit after a shipwreck, all frantic paddling and swimming like crazy!! Even thought it is very intense, it is now just what is pretty dammed amazing, it always was really. Spark, I love that it is all going great for you and H, if you want to hire a band, fly it from a plane, shout it from the rooftops then that is great. I hope it gives other BS who aren't so far along hope and reassurance that it can work out.

 

This gives me hope too, thanks! I needed to see that some people can make it work.

[Spark1111]

Are you saying that the best sex requires that one partner to have an affair, in order to have reconciliation sex? What happens in 10 years or so, when the affair is no longer a driving force in your relationship? Less fulfilling sex?

 

 

 

Could you explain this more? Are you saying that relationships need to require some pain in order to provide great joy? I'd respectfully disagree. Well, there is pain in the death of a deeply loved one, but pain in life is not necessary to fully appreciate the joy.

 

Not the relationship....the reconciliation.

 

It is a new relationship with new people in it.

 

It was both difficult and joyous.

 

Now it is only joyous.

[Fight4Me]

Okay, so I read that people are curious as to what happens in a marriage when the BS finally decides to reconcile with a fWS.

 

Here's my story:

 

I did not want him back for the sake of the kids, the marriage, the status, the history or the legacy. Not the money either...I make my own.

 

I didn't want him back at all. I told him to go get her; no texts, no pleadings, no begging to stay together for the sake of the kids....NOT ON MY PART! He called. texted constantly, sometimes cried....I hung up on him.

 

I was NOT helpless without him; last kid had gone to college; wasn't staying for the paycheck; had a ton of supportive family and friends, a good job! I LOVED HIM.....but he stopped letting me. That simple.

 

NOTHING of the script he told her, he told himself to justify his affair, was true! And I feel for her, believing his empty promises for 1.5 years, even if I still do not understand a woman who would do this!

 

I was/am a happy person. He was angry and depressed and so sad. Apparently he blamed me and the marriage to his OW; must have worked, but it wasn't true. He was unhappy, yet we had sex twice a week during HIS affair. Go figure.

 

Apparently he lived with her, his soulmate, the one he spoke to his sister about leaving me for, for about three weeks? Not sure. Didn't care; didn't call him; didn't want him.

 

He started showing up at my job, sending flowers, cards, "I love YOU! I can't lose you" texts. "Please talk to me." Tears, dinners, coffee dates...and "what are you doing tonight? Who are you with?"

 

None of your business. Begged me to tell him if I had been with someone else. "None of your business." I hadn't.

 

Meanwhile he tells his OW, his default choice, that our R was going "just okay" and that he was meeting "unwavering hostility." Did not want to lose his Plan B I guess, if I divorced him.

 

I allowed him to eventually take me out to dinner, the finest dining, and we'd talk, he'd cry, I'd cry, we'd laugh and at the end of the evening he'd rip my dress off (sometimes not even getting my dress completely off) and make love to me all night long.

 

Or if I was in one of my rages, he'd remove himself to the couch until the storm passed, but I would wake up to him staring at me, rubbing my back, telling me he loved me and only me, to please forgive him, he'd made such mistake, he didn't love her, he was such an azzhole...

 

We could not keep our hands off each other! Day, night, couch, kitchen, shower, bedroom.....overnight trips every few weekends, spur of the moment adventures all planned by him to win me back! Limosines to wineries, apple-picking and staying at quaint B and Bs, jewelry for no occasion, flowers to the office with the card reading, "I hope it is not too little too late!"

 

Jeez...It has been so painful...but so amazing in it's romance and eroticism and profound intimacy and it all continues to this day.

 

We are deeply in love with each other; emotionally. romantically and physically! We are conquering new frontiers together and realize we belong together; what we have now could never be had with anyone else on the planet.

 

He asked me recently if I would marry him again. He was nervous. And I responded that I loved him and would marry the man he was today; a good man who treats me like a queen.

 

So it has been three hard and painful and wonderful years to both grow and heal and get to this point.

 

But the sex? The sex was always amazing and now, almost transcendent. And it was a huge indicator to me of the health of our relationship and our future success in reconciliation.

 

You just aren't gonna have that connection with too many people in a lifetime.

 

Who agrees with me?

 

Thoughts anyone?

 

Our success stories are very similar... especially the "hot love making." What really struck me was the part about when you get angry, and you wake up with him caressing you, whispering words that you are the only one he loves, etc. That has been my exact experience too, and it takes a brave man to go near a sleeping bear.

 

Oh Spark, don't you really mean to write that you have to constantly check your husband's texts, cell phone, work phone, computer for messages from the OW? Don't you just live in constant suspicion all the time?

 

Or how about never letting the A go? Don't you just want to talk about it ALL the time in the years since your H's affair? Isn't the A (and of course the OW) the main topic of all your conversations? I mean, what else would you talk about?!

 

Of course, there is just NO way that your marriage could be happy now. I'm sure you and hubby live in misery 24/7 while you constantly check up on him as he mourns/misses his OW.

 

C'mon, isn't that how it really is? How would you know your own situation anyway?!

 

Okay, all written tongue in cheek, based on assumptions I've read about reconciliations.

 

In all seriousness now, I'm glad you found your true love and connection to another. Likely it was there all along for you and your H, just forgotten.

 

It sounds like you are at peace with what happened and are very happy in your marriage. It's a bittersweet journey, to be sure, but like all hard-earned things in life, very rewarding.

 

Best wishes!

 

Thanks, now I've got coffee all over my screen.

 

Oh yes, yes, yes!

 

 

 

Seriously I'm just responding to the thread topic and some of the content - and yes I am serious - it was all true for me and still is.

 

We had great sex before, but I think they tend to step up their game after R, when they realize who they almost lost. kwim?

[jennie-jennie]

Our success stories are very similar... especially the "hot love making." What really struck me was the part about when you get angry, and you wake up with him caressing you, whispering words that you are the only one he loves, etc. That has been my exact experience too, and it takes a brave man to go near a sleeping bear.

 

They probably have practice after dealing with the fury of the OW. Mine does for sure.