Reconciliation sex...the best ever!!!

[Spark1111]

Okay, so I read that people are curious as to what happens in a marriage when the BS finally decides to reconcile with a fWS.

 

Here's my story:

 

I did not want him back for the sake of the kids, the marriage, the status, the history or the legacy. Not the money either...I make my own.

 

I didn't want him back at all. I told him to go get her; no texts, no pleadings, no begging to stay together for the sake of the kids....NOT ON MY PART! He called. texted constantly, sometimes cried....I hung up on him.

 

I was NOT helpless without him; last kid had gone to college; wasn't staying for the paycheck; had a ton of supportive family and friends, a good job! I LOVED HIM.....but he stopped letting me. That simple.

 

NOTHING of the script he told her, he told himself to justify his affair, was true! And I feel for her, believing his empty promises for 1.5 years, even if I still do not understand a woman who would do this!

 

I was/am a happy person. He was angry and depressed and so sad. Apparently he blamed me and the marriage to his OW; must have worked, but it wasn't true. He was unhappy, yet we had sex twice a week during HIS affair. Go figure.

 

Apparently he lived with her, his soulmate, the one he spoke to his sister about leaving me for, for about three weeks? Not sure. Didn't care; didn't call him; didn't want him.

 

He started showing up at my job, sending flowers, cards, "I love YOU! I can't lose you" texts. "Please talk to me." Tears, dinners, coffee dates...and "what are you doing tonight? Who are you with?"

 

None of your business. Begged me to tell him if I had been with someone else. "None of your business." I hadn't.

 

Meanwhile he tells his OW, his default choice, that our R was going "just okay" and that he was meeting "unwavering hostility." Did not want to lose his Plan B I guess, if I divorced him.

 

I allowed him to eventually take me out to dinner, the finest dining, and we'd talk, he'd cry, I'd cry, we'd laugh and at the end of the evening he'd rip my dress off (sometimes not even getting my dress completely off) and make love to me all night long.

 

Or if I was in one of my rages, he'd remove himself to the couch until the storm passed, but I would wake up to him staring at me, rubbing my back, telling me he loved me and only me, to please forgive him, he'd made such mistake, he didn't love her, he was such an azzhole...

 

We could not keep our hands off each other! Day, night, couch, kitchen, shower, bedroom.....overnight trips every few weekends, spur of the moment adventures all planned by him to win me back! Limosines to wineries, apple-picking and staying at quaint B and Bs, jewelry for no occasion, flowers to the office with the card reading, "I hope it is not too little too late!"

 

Jeez...It has been so painful...but so amazing in it's romance and eroticism and profound intimacy and it all continues to this day.

 

We are deeply in love with each other; emotionally. romantically and physically! We are conquering new frontiers together and realize we belong together; what we have now could never be had with anyone else on the planet.

 

He asked me recently if I would marry him again. He was nervous. And I responded that I loved him and would marry the man he was today; a good man who treats me like a queen.

 

So it has been three hard and painful and wonderful years to both grow and heal and get to this point.

 

But the sex? The sex was always amazing and now, almost transcendent. And it was a huge indicator to me of the health of our relationship and our future success in reconciliation.

 

You just aren't gonna have that connection with too many people in a lifetime.

 

Who agrees with me?

 

Thoughts anyone?

[Woggle]

I am happy for you but I kissed my cheating ex once after the divorce and it literally felt digsusting. I felt like showering for 8 hours after it. Once I am betrayed there is simply no going back for me. It sounds like your husband is sincere about changing though so good luck to you two.

[Snowflower]

Oh Spark, don't you really mean to write that you have to constantly check your husband's texts, cell phone, work phone, computer for messages from the OW? Don't you just live in constant suspicion all the time?

 

Or how about never letting the A go? Don't you just want to talk about it ALL the time in the years since your H's affair? Isn't the A (and of course the OW) the main topic of all your conversations? I mean, what else would you talk about?!

 

Of course, there is just NO way that your marriage could be happy now. I'm sure you and hubby live in misery 24/7 while you constantly check up on him as he mourns/misses his OW.

 

C'mon, isn't that how it really is? How would you know your own situation anyway?!

 

Okay, all written tongue in cheek, based on assumptions I've read about reconciliations.

 

In all seriousness now, I'm glad you found your true love and connection to another. Likely it was there all along for you and your H, just forgotten.

 

It sounds like you are at peace with what happened and are very happy in your marriage. It's a bittersweet journey, to be sure, but like all hard-earned things in life, very rewarding.

 

Best wishes!

[You Go Girl]

You post is so unusual that everyone who reads it stares dumbfounded and can't think of anything to say.

Congrats!

I hope you have sorted out why he did it in the first place, and how he's going to grow enough ballz to finally be able to tell people the truth, and man-up.

[Spark1111]

I am happy for you but I kissed my cheating ex once after the divorce and it literally felt digsusting. I felt like showering for 8 hours after it. Once I am betrayed there is simply no going back for me. It sounds like your husband is sincere about changing though so good luck to you two.

 

Woggle thank you!

 

And no one is more amazed than I that I stayed around long enough to see the sincere transformations.

 

But I certainly can understand how you feel. Betrayal is sooooo painful, until you realize it is much more about the cheater than the AP.

 

And either you can forgive or you cannot.

 

My biggest indicator that we had a shot at forgiveness??

 

We could never keep are hands off each other.

 

If I ever looked at him and did not desire him physically, we probably would not have made it.

 

You did what was right for you.

[Spark1111]

Oh Spark, don't you really mean to write that you have to constantly check your husband's texts, cell phone, work phone, computer for messages from the OW? Don't you just live in constant suspicion all the time?

 

Or how about never letting the A go? Don't you just want to talk about it ALL the time in the years since your H's affair? Isn't the A (and of course the OW) the main topic of all your conversations? I mean, what else would you talk about?!

 

Of course, there is just NO way that your marriage could be happy now. I'm sure you and hubby live in misery 24/7 while you constantly check up on him as he mourns/misses his OW.

 

C'mon, isn't that how it really is? How would you know your own situation anyway?!

 

Okay, all written tongue in cheek, based on assumptions I've read about reconciliations.

 

In all seriousness now, I'm glad you found your true love and connection to another. Likely it was there all along for you and your H, just forgotten.

 

It sounds like you are at peace with what happened and are very happy in your marriage. It's a bittersweet journey, to be sure, but like all hard-earned things in life, very rewarding.

 

Best wishes!

 

Thank you! I do grow weary of the assumptions. I heard those same "assumptions" in his OW's voice when I finally spoke with her.

 

Hey! I am no little wifey. Never was.

 

And he lives every day to make me happy; from bringing me coffee in the morning to buying and cooking my favorite dishes; buying my favorite red wines.

 

It is just amazing to me how happy we are. How compatible. How sexual.

[Spark1111]

You post is so unusual that everyone who reads it stares dumbfounded and can't think of anything to say.

Congrats!

I hope you have sorted out why he did it in the first place, and how he's going to grow enough ballz to finally be able to tell people the truth, and man-up.

 

Oh he's manned so up. We go to IC and MC and he was deeply depressed...thought no one wanted him, including me! Very delusional self-pitying behavior.

 

He's told everyone the truth about he felt and how he feels now. He only feels shame and hates what he and she did, according to him.

 

She thought he was all that....and that is what he needed at the time, but not enough to be with her full time. Really doesn't care too much for her now. Don't know why, but that's the way it is. Something about helping him to betray the very characteristics he and she most admired in himself; family guy, devoted husband.

 

But I no longer care because we are deeply in love and it is all good and really has been for a very long time.

 

I come to LS with my pain and my weightier concerns and questions, and everyone here has really been very helpful to me.

 

But I thought it was time to write of the joyous parts of our reconciliation, because if there wasn't amazing joy....of course I wouldn't be here to wade through the tougher issues.

[fooled once]

Okay, so I read that people are curious as to what happens in a marriage when the BS finally decides to reconcile with a fWS.

 

Here's my story:

 

I did not want him back for the sake of the kids, the marriage, the status, the history or the legacy. Not the money either...I make my own.

 

I didn't want him back at all. I told him to go get her; no texts, no pleadings, no begging to stay together for the sake of the kids....NOT ON MY PART! He called. texted constantly, sometimes cried....I hung up on him.

 

I was NOT helpless without him; last kid had gone to college; wasn't staying for the paycheck; had a ton of supportive family and friends, a good job! I LOVED HIM.....but he stopped letting me. That simple.

 

NOTHING of the script he told her, he told himself to justify his affair, was true! And I feel for her, believing his empty promises for 1.5 years, even if I still do not understand a woman who would do this!

 

I was/am a happy person. He was angry and depressed and so sad. Apparently he blamed me and the marriage to his OW; must have worked, but it wasn't true. He was unhappy, yet we had sex twice a week during HIS affair. Go figure.

 

Apparently he lived with her, his soulmate, the one he spoke to his sister about leaving me for, for about three weeks? Not sure. Didn't care; didn't call him; didn't want him.

 

He started showing up at my job, sending flowers, cards, "I love YOU! I can't lose you" texts. "Please talk to me." Tears, dinners, coffee dates...and "what are you doing tonight? Who are you with?"

 

None of your business. Begged me to tell him if I had been with someone else. "None of your business." I hadn't.

 

Meanwhile he tells his OW, his default choice, that our R was going "just okay" and that he was meeting "unwavering hostility." Did not want to lose his Plan B I guess, if I divorced him.

 

I allowed him to eventually take me out to dinner, the finest dining, and we'd talk, he'd cry, I'd cry, we'd laugh and at the end of the evening he'd rip my dress off (sometimes not even getting my dress completely off) and make love to me all night long.

 

Or if I was in one of my rages, he'd remove himself to the couch until the storm passed, but I would wake up to him staring at me, rubbing my back, telling me he loved me and only me, to please forgive him, he'd made such mistake, he didn't love her, he was such an azzhole...

 

We could not keep our hands off each other! Day, night, couch, kitchen, shower, bedroom.....overnight trips every few weekends, spur of the moment adventures all planned by him to win me back! Limosines to wineries, apple-picking and staying at quaint B and Bs, jewelry for no occasion, flowers to the office with the card reading, "I hope it is not too little too late!"

 

Jeez...It has been so painful...but so amazing in it's romance and eroticism and profound intimacy and it all continues to this day.

 

We are deeply in love with each other; emotionally. romantically and physically! We are conquering new frontiers together and realize we belong together; what we have now could never be had with anyone else on the planet.

 

He asked me recently if I would marry him again. He was nervous. And I responded that I loved him and would marry the man he was today; a good man who treats me like a queen.

 

So it has been three hard and painful and wonderful years to both grow and heal and get to this point.

 

But the sex? The sex was always amazing and now, almost transcendent. And it was a huge indicator to me of the health of our relationship and our future success in reconciliation.

 

You just aren't gonna have that connection with too many people in a lifetime.

 

Who agrees with me?

 

Thoughts anyone?

 

Oh Spark, are you sure? I mean, don'tcha know, the cheating spouse doesn't lie to the OW, only the wife

 

In all seriousness, I am glad you and H have worked through his issues and that he has made the necessary changes in order to be your man. I am happy that you refused to settle for less than you deserve

 

Oh Spark, don't you really mean to write that you have to constantly check your husband's texts, cell phone, work phone, computer for messages from the OW? Don't you just live in constant suspicion all the time?

 

Or how about never letting the A go? Don't you just want to talk about it ALL the time in the years since your H's affair? Isn't the A (and of course the OW) the main topic of all your conversations? I mean, what else would you talk about?!

 

Of course, there is just NO way that your marriage could be happy now. I'm sure you and hubby live in misery 24/7 while you constantly check up on him as he mourns/misses his OW.

 

C'mon, isn't that how it really is? How would you know your own situation anyway?!

 

Okay, all written tongue in cheek, based on assumptions I've read about reconciliations.

 

In all seriousness now, I'm glad you found your true love and connection to another. Likely it was there all along for you and your H, just forgotten.

 

It sounds like you are at peace with what happened and are very happy in your marriage. It's a bittersweet journey, to be sure, but like all hard-earned things in life, very rewarding.

 

Best wishes!

 

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

 

Spark, I am actually glad you posted this because so many times, the AP likes to believe the MM is just miserable at home with the wife. Or that the wife has her head buried in the sand and doesn't see what is right in front of her.

 

In your case, it seems like your H realized the collassal mistake he made and has done anything and everything to earn your trust back and to show you that his life, his future is with you. Remember, 'everyone' makes mistakes and he realized the A was a mistake.

 

The growth you both have done will take you to your golden years together, laughing, loving and being happy. Here's to you and him!!!!

[bentnotbroken]

Spark, I admire you girl:D I wasn't sure I could ever get to your level, hell I knew I could never get to your level. But what you have shown here is that when there is true commitment to the marriage and rebuilding ALL aspects of it, nothing is impossible. It can wipe away the things that were once believed to be true. It is clear when the hysterical bonding is in the past and the, shall we say, chandelier dancing begins.

[SidLyon]

...

 

We could not keep our hands off each other! ....

 

We are deeply in love with each other; emotionally. romantically and physically! We are conquering new frontiers together and realize we belong together; what we have now could never be had with anyone else on the planet.

 

...

 

But the sex? The sex was always amazing and now, almost transcendent. And it was a huge indicator to me of the health of our relationship and our future success in reconciliation.

 

You just aren't gonna have that connection with too many people in a lifetime.

 

Who agrees with me?

 

Thoughts anyone?

 

 

Oh yes, yes, yes!

 

 

 

Seriously I'm just responding to the thread topic and some of the content - and yes I am serious - it was all true for me and still is.

[Spark1111]

Aren't you taking some poetic license here?

 

I'm still not sure about this poetic license thing and I'm a writer.

 

I thought she was being tongue-in-cheek, or a little facetious, but since I have seen many posts allude to these assumptions about reconciliation, I found it funny. Because they are frequently made assumptions. Sometimes true, sometimes not true.

[Spark1111]

Oh Spark, are you sure? I mean, don'tcha know, the cheating spouse doesn't lie to the OW, only the wife

 

Well, my fWS lied to her, to me but mostly to himself. And I am such a truth vigilante, I had to know everything, everything he felt and why he felt that way before I would even consider reconciliation! And the hardest part of it all was waiting for him to sift through all his self-delusions to come to some sort of inner truth....not what he thought I wanted to hear.

 

In all seriousness, I am glad you and H have worked through his issues and that he has made the necessary changes in order to be your man. I am happy that you refused to settle for less than you deserve

 

I have never settled for less and on some level I think that has made all the difference.

 

 

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

 

Spark, I am actually glad you posted this because so many times, the AP likes to believe the MM is just miserable at home with the wife. Or that the wife has her head buried in the sand and doesn't see what is right in front of her.

 

Yeah, I heard that in his OW's voice...such minimizing...condescending contempt almost...and so totally off the mark. Did not even attempt to know me because she already thought she knew everything. At least I attempted to give her the benefit of the doubt. (There is that word DOUBT again.)

 

In your case, it seems like your H realized the collassal mistake he made and has done anything and everything to earn your trust back and to show you that his life, his future is with you. Remember, 'everyone' makes mistakes and he realized the A was a mistake.

 

The mistake my husband made almost destroyed us....and continued to almost destroy him! Long after I had forgiven both him and the OW, he could not. His affair forever robbed him of what he had held most dear: the legacy of being a loving husband and devoted father. And she enabled? encouraged? him to do this! So he cannot forgive her either. Sad, really sad.

 

The growth you both have done will take you to your golden years together, laughing, loving and being happy. Here's to you and him!!!!

 

Oh God I know we are fine, more than fine! Thank you!

[Snowflower]

Aren't you taking some poetic license here?

 

I'm still not sure about this poetic license thing and I'm a writer.

 

I thought she was being tongue-in-cheek, or a little facetious, but since I have seen many posts allude to these assumptions about reconciliation, I found it funny. Because they are frequently made assumptions. Sometimes true, sometimes not true.

 

I was being a more than a bit tongue-in-cheek!

 

I feel spunky tonight--what can I say?

 

I used the term "poetic license" on another thread recently--I didn't come up with the term but I was referring to the wild assumptions that are sometimes made when someone posts their situation.

 

Kind of like what I did here (in a completely joking manner) in response to Spark's OP. I was being completely facetious because I get tired of posters being told that they don't know their own situation and that others here know it better.

[Snowflower]

The mistake my husband made almost destroyed us....and continued to almost destroy him! Long after I had forgiven both him and the OW, he could not. His affair forever robbed him of what he had held most dear: the legacy of being a loving husband and devoted father. And she enabled? encouraged? him to do this! So he cannot forgive her either. Sad, really sad.

 

Spark, this is really interesting to me. What do you mean by the "mistake" or whatever his affair was continued to almost destroy your H?

[Spark1111]

Well, Spark, it just goes to say MM will lie as much if not more to the OW. The BS is most always in the driver's seat, the one MM loves, the one he comes home to night after night. She's the one with that can make love to her H all night and day long as many days as she wants, while the OW is left to wait for the next snippet when the MM can make a little time for a little nookie- and then he goes home to who? The wife that he loves. She's the one that gets him on holidays and glorious vacations. What does the OW get? Sex, texts, emails, broken promises and lies. She's the one left waiting...and waiting... and waiting. For what, for a huge majority of them, is what will never ever come. I'm glad you feel sad for others, but I no longer have empathy for that kind of lifestyle. It's pathetic in my opinion. Frankly, the whole cheating business is plain trashy and low class.

 

I get you girl on the hot sex with the man you love and comes home to you. How wonderful it is to have a man of my own. One that doesn't have to get up and go home. One that I can have crazy hot monkey sex with after a hot date out on the town. One that I can wake up later in the night to make love with again, and then once more in the morning. And maybe home for lunch for a nooner. Ah, I LOVE the married life.

 

I think the lies are self-deluded confusion and not always intentional.

 

Can't we all find reasons to justify our behaviors if we are so inclined, especially if in denial or self-deluded? I think yes.

 

And I now believe affairs need constant fueling of texting or sexting or cell calls.....You need to keep the fantasy well-oiled, well-fueled, IMHO.

 

People who are confident of their intimacy, do not need 13 needy texts or sexts a day. We speak maybe three times a day, and when he gets home, if either of us is so inclined, we head up to the bedroom before dinner. Then again after.

 

There is no neediness here. Only intimacy and desire. I do not wait or mince words or side=step issues. What I want, I express. And I get it. It is all good.

[Spark1111]

Spark, I admire you girl:D I wasn't sure I could ever get to your level, hell I knew I could never get to your level. But what you have shown here is that when there is true commitment to the marriage and rebuilding ALL aspects of it, nothing is impossible. It can wipe away the things that were once believed to be true. It is clear when the hysterical bonding is in the past and the, shall we say, chandelier dancing begins.

 

He is taking me on a cruise for our 29th anniversary. He has booked a state room and has concocted some excuse as to why I need to bring our marriage license.

 

I think he means it to be a secret, but I have deduced he intends to marry me again on board the ship.

 

Think they have chandeliers there? Damn, I do not have a chandelier worth hanging on here.;)

 

Ahhh, we will find something!

[Spark1111]

The mistake my husband made almost destroyed us....and continued to almost destroy him! Long after I had forgiven both him and the OW, he could not. His affair forever robbed him of what he had held most dear: the legacy of being a loving husband and devoted father. And she enabled? encouraged? him to do this! So he cannot forgive her either. Sad, really sad.

 

Spark, this is really interesting to me. What do you mean by the "mistake" or whatever his affair was continued to almost destroy your H?

 

Snowflower, those are his words, not mine. I forgave his OW pretty quickly. I figured she was a lonely divorcee raising a difficult child. My husband IS the KNIGHT in SHINING ARMOR. I fell for him. I forgave her for falling for him too.

 

My anger was directed at him. I almost divorced him. For the longest time I did not want to reconcile with someone who lied to me about his feelings for another. It is the lying and secrecy that almost destroyed me.

 

He today is examining how and why his life took a left. He today realizes he can NEVER go back to the legacy of being a faithful loving family man. That's gone forever. And he blames himself terribly for making such a weak choice for reasons of ego.

 

But he blames her too. Because she encouraged, enabled, helped him to break the very thing he and she and I prized most of all about him: he WAS a good, loving, devoted family man who had been faithful. And until his depression, his integrity had been rock solid.

 

But she wanted him for herself to ease her loneliness. And ultimately, she was as selfish as he was. Because if you love someone, how do you help them become less honorable, less devoted, less loving, less honest to their spouse and family?

 

So he deals with self-hatred. In his words: "I hate what she and I did! We used each other to feel good. It was breathtakingly selfish on both our parts."

 

So now he hates her too. I wish it wasn't true because I think it impedes his healing, but there it is.

 

Also, he claims sex with her was boring. He was so turned on by a lonely? woman who so wanted him and gave him her undivided attention and flattery that he loved feeling so needed.

 

But the sex? Pretty routine and boring. Go figure.

[Snowflower]

Snowflower, those are his words, not mine. I forgave his OW pretty quickly. I figured she was a lonely divorcee raising a difficult child. My husband IS the KNIGHT in SHINING ARMOR. I fell for him. I forgave her for falling for him too.

 

My anger was directed at him. I almost divorced him. For the longest time I did not want to reconcile with someone who lied to me about his feelings for another. It is the lying and secrecy that almost destroyed me.

 

He today is examining how and why his life took a left. He today realizes he can NEVER go back to the legacy of being a faithful loving family man. That's gone forever. And he blames himself terribly for making such a weak choice for reasons of ego.

 

But he blames her too. Because she encouraged, enabled, helped him to break the very thing he and she and I prized most of all about him: he WAS a good, loving, devoted family man who had been faithful. And until his depression, his integrity had been rock solid.

 

But she wanted him for herself to ease her loneliness. And ultimately, she was as selfish as he was. Because if you love someone, how do you help them become less honorable, less devoted, less loving, less honest to their spouse and family?

 

So he deals with self-hatred. In his words: "I hate what she and I did! We used each other to feel good. It was breathtakingly selfish on both our parts."

 

So now he hates her too. I wish it wasn't true because I think it impedes his healing, but there it is.

 

Also, he claims sex with her was boring. He was so turned on by a lonely? woman who so wanted him and gave him her undivided attention and flattery that he loved feeling so needed.

 

But the sex? Pretty routine and boring. Go figure.

 

Never mind...

Edited August 21, 2010 by Snowflower

[Distant78]

Never mind...

 

 

:lmao:

 

After reading that, I think its never mind for me also!:lmao:

[LilyBart]

Spark, two thumbs up on getting over your H's A and getting the M back on track! But this?

 

Also, he claims sex with her was boring. He was so turned on by a lonely? woman who so wanted him and gave him her undivided attention and flattery that he loved feeling so needed.

 

But the sex? Pretty routine and boring. Go figure.

 

OH PUHLEEZE!!!! Like he would EVER admit to you what the two of them did behind closed doors. Come on, you're smarter than that - aren't you?

 

But the flip side is, who cares? Since the two are you are having "amazing reconciliation sex". Lucky for you, you're not like that poor lady whose H was into BDSM and she really didn't know to what extent!

[WTFBBQ]

It's sad when OW get their panties in a twist over sex with the wife. It's a darn shame.

Whoo Hoo Spark!

[turnstone]

Spark, two thumbs up on getting over your H's A and getting the M back on track! But this?

 

 

 

OH PUHLEEZE!!!! Like he would EVER admit to you what the two of them did behind closed doors. Come on, you're smarter than that - aren't you?

What would be the point of Spark's H's policy of complete transparency with his wife if he were lying about this? And anyway it sounds as though it was boring even if only in comparison to what Spark and he has now.

 

But the flip side is, who cares?

Exactly, who cares if he was having great sex with her or not? So why give your opinion that it wasn't boring?

 

Since the two are you are having "amazing reconciliation sex". Lucky for you, you're not like that poor lady whose H was into BDSM and she really didn't know to what extent!

And why put it in inverted commas? I'm guessing you must realise its the equivalent of casting doubt. If you don't believe it then say so, but frankly it just makes you look bitter and I have no idea what your backstory is.

[jennie-jennie]

I am happy for you, Spark!

 

Looking back at my own experiences as a BS, I would say that it depends on the capacity and quality of the sexual aspect of the relationship to begin with.

 

My first SO and I always had great sex. Of course it became even better after we reconciled and did not need to worry anymore about either of us side-stepping the relationship.

 

My second SO has intimacy and sex issues. Sure, we had good sex too, but... as long as his issues were not solved, it could only become that good.

 

Even with the amazing sex my first SO and I had (and it truly was amazing), there have been new experiences, new firsts, greater intimacy with my MM. :love:

[jennie-jennie]

You just aren't gonna have that connection with too many people in a lifetime.

 

This is the very reason why I stay with my MM.

[jennie-jennie]

I am a little confused, Spark. I reread your OP. It sounds to me like hysterical bonding, but still going on after three years?

 

As the hurt caused by the extramarital relationship subsides, there ought to be a difference in quality in the sex life long term compared to the sex life closely after Dday. That is my experience, and perhaps yours, perhaps I am just not seeing that in your post?

Edited August 21, 2010 by jennie-jennie