thinkgal Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 today I feel so so sad and is just not hormonal..Im like crying even though I shouldnt cuz I know I gotta be stronger.. I wish I didnt care so that I wouldnt feel this pain in my heart right now . I love my bf very much, our relationship I can say its a lil strange. Sometimes he makes me feel so insecure and the thing I dont like is that I think he lies about many things and I just dont like that. Today he was supposed to come pass by my place to see me. Sometimes there is traffic to get to where I live. So I dont know why but I got this feeling earlier that he wasnt gonna come today all cuz of a text he wrote saying yes Im coming but depending on traffic...I was like hmmm so early and already writting that,I felt like that was gonna be used as an excuse to not pass by. So later when I text him are you on your way?? he texts back saying yes and that he'll let me know how traffic is..an hour passes I call him and no response so I text how's traffic...he replies terrible and that he didnt hear the phone cuz the music was soo loud.so I text call me now...and I call him and he responds and oddly enough it iss soo quiet there( I really didnt feel like he was in his car stuck in traffic)..I tell him that and he is like oh its cuz the windows are all the way up, then he says there is a lot of traffic and can't sit in it too long cuz then his back will start hurting if he sits too long (he has a back problem, that is true and it is starting to heal) . then he says he will let me know if the traffic is too bad. Ok so after this we hang up, then I start thinking and 5 mins later I come up with an idea. I was thinking that why dont i just take the train and meet him there adn then we can head back later when traffic is not soo bad. But when i call back no response...so i text respond cuz I wanna tell you sometihng quick,, still no response,, I left a voicemail saying to call back and nothing..... seee what I mean its all strange and weird. later on like an hour later i do one last text saying how mean it is for him to be nonresponsive and that it hurts and he shouldnt be that way cuz I've been good with him..he texts back to that saying that he isnt mean and that is not his fault about the traffic and how he had to deal with something on the phone .... ok so now Im gonna vent cuz I dont wanna tell him BUT.... I FELL THIS IS BS, THEY SOUND LIKE EXCUSES ,WTF IS THE PROBLEM HERE, I AM NOT STUPID...if it isnt him with some other chick which sometimes i wonder then just tell me,, just tell me what it is.. I rather someone be more honest and tell me than give me excuses. STOP LYINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG, cuz I can tell. and I guess what made it worse is that in his fb some girl wrote but really early like 1pm or so, "hey, ALL DONE" ...I didnt ask him about that but waht does that mean, with him not coming to see me it makes it worse it adds to my insecurity. in his fb i have replied to sum of his messages and call him babe and <3 so if that chick reads that she should get it unless he lies or she doesnt care..either way I hope is not cheating and if so I would like to find out. either way I know this shouldnt be like this,, and I feel sooo stupiddd cuz my heart cares for him and so I feel like been with him,, staying with him but I dont wanna keep craying at times and having insecurities ,, I feel there is soemthing he is not telling me and I wish I didnt care...sometimes I wanna be strong enough to let go and I can't,, feel so weak,, not cool phewwww thanks for reading this
Author thinkgal Posted August 21, 2010 Author Posted August 21, 2010 does his behavior and what he said sound suspicious??? it's late he didnt call his last text said that he isnt mean cuz of traffic and is not his fault that my time is now limited cuz I'll be working more that is why I sooo wanted to see him today cuz this weekend I wont be able to . and in his fb he writes to make up your mind and figure out what you want....not to me but just writes something general like that..and now that makes me think it is meant for someone else?? cuz I didnt say nothing that I dont want to be with him or nothing,, if anything my text said how I feel I care more for him than him to me and hope he realizes how much i luv him afraid to realize of what is really going on, dont wanna let go of someone I really care about any thoughts???
LoveTruthChaos Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 I feel there is soemthing he is not telling me and I wish I didnt care...sometimes I wanna be strong enough to let go and I can't,, feel so weak,, not cool Yep, I've been there. Mysterious crying and all. Your instincts are telling you the truth. They did it to me too. Instincts are a valuable thing. If you feel that something is not right, IT'S NOT. For your own sanity and peace of mind, leave. You've got to be strong hun. I know it's hard, but you gotta. And you got to not look back. If he comes back crying on his hands and knees, maybe then you can talk. If he leaves without looking back, you got your truth right there. Now go out there and find yourself a man who will never feed you stupid excuses ever again, one who will never let you go
Simon Attwood Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 Instincts can be right, and they can be wrong. Following your gut without question can be disastrous. Your gut reaction is a primitive animal reaction; it is autonomous and only capable of dichotomous thinking (thinking in black and white) It isn't capable of dealing with complex situations. Instinct is essentially a programmed pattern. It used to work very well when our lives were simpler; find food, avoid predators, etc. The trouble is that when we get a gut reaction now, it is based on a pre programmed response, so we may be reacting on something that is happening now, by using something from our past, whether it is a consciously or unconsciously remembered experience. All I am saying is; do not blindly follow a gut reaction without first applying rational thinking
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