zengirl Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 Lol, so basically Fowler was right. Women dont really care about the sex itself. They dont want men who wait too long not because they cant stand not having sex, but because they feel unwanted and it hurts their ego. Not precisely. I care about sex plenty. But I can wait for things I care about. But, yes, I would say that most of the issues related to waiting -- and I think this is true for some men too, from some of the things I've heard men say here (a certain number of dates and she isn't attracted, etc) and elsewhere -- aren't really about the sex itself. Some people truly lack patience, but most mature people who really think they have something great are able to develop or exercise it. You think some men don't have ego issues attached to sex? I find this pretty common amongst people of both genders.
zengirl Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 (edited) Anyone remember that scene for Sex in the City where the main char (Carrie?) dates that guy Ian (the guy who owned the high end furniture store). He said he wanted to wait because he cared too much. Nothing ever materialized because of that. Okay, I hate when people use that show to talk about anything real, so it's sad I know this but: Uh. . . his name was Aidan. And that was one episode where that caused conflict. And they totally slept together later and had a whole relationship, though she did cheat on him, then want him back, then almost marry him, then say she wasn't sure about rushing the whole marriage thing, and he left her (smartly) and wound up happy with a furniture designer (who we never saw that I know of) and a cute baby. But all the cheating and problems had nothing to do with his waiting and wanting romance before sex and everything to do with her unhealthy attachment to Big, which had started seasons earlier, and own broken psychology. That girl was a train wreck. I would totally take Aidan over most of the SATC men. He was a cutie. And Carrie is an idiot who acts like a 13 year old. Does any healthy, mature man really want to date a Carrie? Edited August 22, 2010 by zengirl
meerkat stew Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 And Carrie is an idiot who acts like a 13 year old. Does any healthy, mature man really want to date a Carrie? Women who model their social lives, or attempts at such, after that show are very numerous in my age range. Trouble is they know what it says about them so you never see the SATC qualities until 2 months or so into exclusivity. By then, when they announce it's their favorite show, you have too much time invested to just walk out the door over something seemingly that trivial the minute they announce it, you have to stick around another month while they show you -exactly- why it's their favorite show. You may be "Mr. Big," or you may be one of the quirky "prop" schmoes inserted in their lives as placeholders while they continue to pine for or search for Mr. Big. It all amounts to the same shallow, obnoxious, pervasive MODERN AMERICAN female lifestyle.
alexlakeman Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 Pretty dumb, especially in Miami, where you have alot of competition... you won't gain any brownie points with her, unless yourr kids and she's a virgin..
jamesum Posted August 23, 2010 Posted August 23, 2010 (edited) But, yes, I would say that most of the issues related to waiting -- and I think this is true for some men too, from some of the things I've heard men say here (a certain number of dates and she isn't attracted, etc) and elsewhere -- aren't really about the sex itself. Mmm, I think more like very few men. Most men who dont wanna wait, dump the women because they have no patience. Zero to do with insecurity. But on the other hand, its safe to say that most women immediately internalize the issue when their men wont have sex with them which I think is pretty dumb. Why? Because men will have sex with anyone including women whom they find ugly if their high testosterone tells them to. So when a man waits to have sex with a woman, then chances are it has zero to do with physical attraction. It is either psychological (ex: personal value) or medical/biological (ex: low libido) issue. Just to put it into perspective, it was in the news a while back about a Virginian man who had sex with a female goat. So just because a man wanna have sex with you, it doesnt necessarily mean you are attractive. Dont evaluate yourself based on how much a man wanna have sex with you. A study shows that a man's rising testosterone level is as intoxicating to his brain as alcoholic consumption. Edited August 23, 2010 by jamesum
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