LostInTurn Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 I'm going to have a nervous breakdown. Today I'm just flat out angry. I just want to focus on myself and I cannot. I asked him to block me, for whatever reason, he will not. I got a new, awesome job today. I was excited about it for 2.3 seconds and then I started thinking about him again and I'm miserable. I have a date. A date I don't know if I want to go on, but he's funny and I know I would have fun. But I'm scared. I feel empty. And I'm still so angry. But I know the best thing for me to do is, date someone. Not many people. I've never been the type, but date someone and see how it is. I can't believe this all happened. This is so frustrating. I'm so freakin' angry!!!
ShannonMI Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 It's totally normal to feel angry! Anger is part of the healing process. Just don't take it out on your date! You should go on your date and try to have a good time.
Username37 Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 Anger is part of coping. I get PO'd too. Enjoy your date Lost You're gonna be fine
Author LostInTurn Posted August 20, 2010 Author Posted August 20, 2010 What if I'm not ready to date? I want to. I want to because I want to see my worth again and know that someone else will care for me and treat me better than I was treated and not turn their back on me. And I'm so angry because he won't just shut me out of his life! How difficult is that?! It's like one big damn test! Sh*t! I don't know what I'm thinking.
Username37 Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 What if I'm not ready to date? I want to. I want to because I want to see my worth again and know that someone else will care for me and treat me better than I was treated and not turn their back on me. And I'm so angry because he won't just shut me out of his life! How difficult is that?! It's like one big damn test! Sh*t! I don't know what I'm thinking. If you're not ready to date, then don't. But you said you want to and you gave a good reason for doing so.
Thierro Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 (edited) Don't go on a date. You are definitely not ready and it’s a HUGE mistake. You need a lot of alone time before you do stuff like this. You need time to think and evolve yourself like I mentioned in other posts. This can take up months, years. You are not ready. You want to be taken care of. This is not how it works. You need to take care of yourself. At the moment you are an emotional wreck. You need some preparation before you take a jump like this, because you are going to land flat faced to the ground. You need validation from others. You need others to tell you that you have any worth. Stop it. You are what you think you are. It’s time for you to take a deep breath and get out of this busy city for a while. You need to overlook everything and rebuild a healthy state of self-being. Edited August 20, 2010 by Thierro
Feelin Frisky Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 Excuse me but you asked him to block you? Are you perhaps possessed by Pizuzu or some other evil spirit and compelled to contact this fella against your own judgement? I wish I could help with that but usually it's the other way around where someone wants to block someone else from pestering them. Exorcisms aren't my specialty.
ShannonMI Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 What if I'm not ready to date? I want to. I want to because I want to see my worth again and know that someone else will care for me and treat me better than I was treated and not turn their back on me. And I'm so angry because he won't just shut me out of his life! How difficult is that?! It's like one big damn test! Sh*t! I don't know what I'm thinking. Don't date if you aren't ready. It's good to just hang out with friends. I want to date too, but I'm just not ready and I know that. I'm giving myself as much time as I need. You should do the same. I'm trying to heal my broken heart before I give it to someone else. You don't want to give someone a broken heart, do you? You want to give them a healed, whole, happy heart. :love:So take your time. And why won't he shut you out of his life? Is he trying to have contact with you? Tell him to leave you alone. You can't heal and move on if he's in your life in any way.
Hersheys Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 Why don't you block him instead? I blocked my ex and some other people right after he broke up with me. I say go on a date if you want a distraction. If you think that the date will somehow get you out of your head, improve your mood and emotions no matter what it's outcome will be then by all means go. If you feel you are not ready yet and you know that you will feel bad because it will just remind you of the ex then don't go. Go on a trip alone instead away. Go somewhere you and the ex haven't been to.
Sambo Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 I'm going to have a nervous breakdown. Today I'm just flat out angry. I just want to focus on myself and I cannot. I asked him to block me, for whatever reason, he will not. I got a new, awesome job today. I was excited about it for 2.3 seconds and then I started thinking about him again and I'm miserable. I have a date. A date I don't know if I want to go on, but he's funny and I know I would have fun. But I'm scared. I feel empty. And I'm still so angry. But I know the best thing for me to do is, date someone. Not many people. I've never been the type, but date someone and see how it is. I can't believe this all happened. This is so frustrating. I'm so freakin' angry!!! I can totally relate to you and your not alone. Unfortunately this is going to take TIME but look how far we've come. 2 months ago I could hardly breathe and tonight I'm out on the town.
Author LostInTurn Posted August 21, 2010 Author Posted August 21, 2010 I'm trying to think of every option available. I had blocked him, I can unblock; which is what I would do. I figure if he blocks me, I can't contact him. Therefore, I'm forced to move on. See my point? However, he won't. As for the date. I have never been big on dating. I need it to be someone I know I'll make the best of it with. I think I can and should. May be good for my soul.
You Go Girl Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 Congrats on your new job and that date you're going on! Do you notice something about my post?
Author LostInTurn Posted August 21, 2010 Author Posted August 21, 2010 Congrats on your new job and that date you're going on! Do you notice something about my post? You make it sound fun, exciting and reassuring?
You Go Girl Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 You make it sound fun, exciting and reassuring? I also don't mention ummm.........you know.
D-Lish Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 Take the power away from him and block him. A part of healing is putting yourself back out there. You aren't ready for a relationship right now, but that's WAY different than going on one date with someone. Don't hide in your house waiting to get over this- go out and socialize, enjoy a nice dinner with someone. That's how you move forward. Be active in your own recovery. If you passively sit around dwelling in sadness, anger, and resentment, you aren't participating in your recovery. You have to participate in healing, it doesn't just miraculously happen. Take the reigns and block him. By asking him to do it, you're giving him all the power to make choices for you.
Nappeal Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 I agree that you're still allowing him to have power over you by asking HIM to block YOU. Don't you have more strength then that? Please, take no offense. You've got to block him and LEAVE IT ALONE. Its not his job to help you anymore, especially to get over him. I'm sure he's just loving that you need him like that...or not giving a crap. Do it yourself; be strong for yourself, and let it go... IDK if you've gone on your date, but I suggest not to. You are not in a frame of mind where you'll even have fun, and if the guys picks up that you're super sad (which he will) he will lose all interest in the date, and even you. I think many here will tell you from personal experience...trying to get over someone by getting under someone (not that your intent is sex) will not change how you feel about your ex. On another note - congrats on your new job!! Focus on that now hun.
Author LostInTurn Posted August 21, 2010 Author Posted August 21, 2010 I appreciate everyone's responses. This is all very confusing. No, I have not gone on the date yet. However, it was nice to speak with someone and have them actually listen and be nice to me. That's a change since all of this has happened. I'm still not sure about the date. I need to think about it. I can re block him, sure. It's just a matter of time before I unblock and then break NC. I hate this. I hate being me and I hate that I cannot just move on.
Sambo Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 (edited) I appreciate everyone's responses. This is all very confusing. No, I have not gone on the date yet. However, it was nice to speak with someone and have them actually listen and be nice to me. That's a change since all of this has happened. I'm still not sure about the date. I need to think about it. I can re block him, sure. It's just a matter of time before I unblock and then break NC. I hate this. I hate being me and I hate that I cannot just move on. Stop that talk ! You are what YOU say you are. I know you are delicate and I understand how special and open hearted you are but you need to start seeing this a a huge strength. I pride myself on my capacity to LOVE. I know that the Woman that gets me has won the lottery. My open heartedness, compassion and kindness are my greatest strengths. You are a winner , He is the Loser ! Edited August 21, 2010 by Sambo
Author LostInTurn Posted August 21, 2010 Author Posted August 21, 2010 Stop that talk ! You are what YOU say you are. I know you are delicate and I understand how special and open hearted you are but you need to start seeing this a a huge strength. I pride myself on my capacity to LOVE. I know that the Woman that gets me has won the lottery. My open heartedness, compassion and kindness are my greatest strengths. You are a winner , He is the Loser ! I know, you are correct. I also know the person I am with has come across someone amazing as well. I hear it often from those around me and they say it because they mean it. I'm Ok, I think. I think I'm doing better. It just saddens me that someone could be so mean and cruel.
HeavenOrHell Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 How long ago did you break up? You don't sound ready to go on a date. I wasn't ready to even think about seeing someone else for at least 7 months post break up, but we were together 18 years in a very close and loving relationship. I have been with someone new for 4 months now. However, everyone is different, you'll know when you are ready to move on, have some time alone first, time to clear your head! BTW being angry doesn't = a nervous breakdown, it kind of belittles nervous breakdowns when people say stuff like that! A breakdown is when you can't function anymore and need help to cope with day to day life. I'm going to have a nervous breakdown. Today I'm just flat out angry. I just want to focus on myself and I cannot. I asked him to block me, for whatever reason, he will not. I got a new, awesome job today. I was excited about it for 2.3 seconds and then I started thinking about him again and I'm miserable. I have a date. A date I don't know if I want to go on, but he's funny and I know I would have fun. But I'm scared. I feel empty. And I'm still so angry. But I know the best thing for me to do is, date someone. Not many people. I've never been the type, but date someone and see how it is. I can't believe this all happened. This is so frustrating. I'm so freakin' angry!!!
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