jazzarina Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 I have been with my boyfriend now for a little over a year and a half. About 2 months ago he broke up with me (we were broken up for about 3 weeks)...we were long distance at the time and he was depressed over not being able to find a full time job and having to move back into his parents house. During the time we were broken up I met a new guy and we went out on three dates. I liked him instantly and we had very very good chemistry. My ex began contacting me again, saying he realized his mistake, missed me more than anything, and completely did a 180. After much thought, I decided to give him another shot and hes been nothing but amazing. At first I was very happy to be back together with him but the past few weeks I've been feeling confused about my feelings toward him. I just don't know if I love him like I used to and I keep thinking about and dreaming about the guy I met while we were broken up. Although we only went on a couple dates, I miss him and am beginning to wish I gave him a chance as opposed to my ex. This other guy admitted to liking me a lot but understood why I wanted to give my ex a second chance. My boyfriend now has a lot of faith in our relationship and has even said he wants to marry me a few years down the road. A part of me feels I need to end things with him and see where things could go with the other guy and a part of me wants to stay with my current boyfriend. I know he would make a great husband and father someday but I keep having the "what ifs" running through my mind. My biggest fear is breaking up with him and regretting it. I’m extremely confused and just dont know what do. Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated!!!! I just feel so lost
BiAxident Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 As a guy who is on the other side of your situation (except that she broke up with me the first time, and there is no "new guy", at least not that I know of) I would advise that you give your relationship time to see where it goes. You said he has been amazing since the two of you got back together. What I cant speak to is the issue of you not being sure if you "love him like you used to". My GF used a similar line on me, and it was just confusing as all hell. Perhaps you've eventually love him more, or in a better way, than you used to?
User1029 Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 9 times out of 10, the grass is not greener on the other side. If you have something special going right now, let it ride out. Don't end something good and then realize you made a mistake.
bboy Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 Be careful. I've done what you're about to do. Look where I am now. Coping and reading LS. You've got a relationship vs. a flirt. They are not really comparable and you might end up with nothing and a few months down the road wonder "what was I thinking?". Your BF is probably putting every effort he has to make it right. Don't create havoc now, wait a little bit longer and see if you really want to break up. I fell into a situation that I KNEW would not end up good at all. Stupid me.
YellowShark Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 I would take the path that you have more invested in right now. Your boyfriend. And see where it leads. By taking emotion that should be reserved for your boyfriend and investing it in fantasies with "a new guy" it will hurt your current relationship. If this re-connection with your boyfriend doesn't work out, then you can walk away knowing you did your best, and invest all your emotions towards a "new" guy.
Author jazzarina Posted August 21, 2010 Author Posted August 21, 2010 Thank you everyone for your posts and advice!! Its really great hearing a few guys' perspectives about all this. I really appreciate it! Despite my thoughts about the other guy I breifly was seeing, I have been putting forth a lot of effort toward my current boyfriend and I'm glad I'm doing that because I don't want to have any regrets. I don't want to break up with him and then realize he actually was the best thing to ever happen to me. He tells me 2 or 3 times a day how much he loves me and I know he's sincere. For now at least I do want to see if it continues going strong and if down the road I decide to break up with him, I do want to know that I put every ounce of effort I had into our relationship. bboy and Biaxident, what happend with your girlfriends?
bboy Posted August 21, 2010 Posted August 21, 2010 She got tired of feeling insecure, didn't know how to communicate/solve things so then left... And is permanently moving far away. So it's 100% sure loss...
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