I new making sense of this

[TeenMovie]

I've posted a few other threads but left out how we separated. I was away on vacation. 2 weeks before I left, my gf and I took space and se realized how important I was to her and that the distance didn't matter and she needed to start using me to help her stress, not blaming it on me and walking all over me with her stress.

 

Then while I was away, we spoke sometimes because of the time difference and everything seemed alright. She even booked a ticket to come with my family on vacation in a few

 

Next thing I know, she has a busy weekend and everything is going normal. I get on plane to head home and had no battery on my phone. When I landed, I got a voicemail from her sounding worried that I didn't give any flight information. Then, she was busy till late at night, and worked early in morning so it didn't make sense for me to see her. We both agreed to just wait till tomorrow and we also talked about having an amazing week doing things around the city.

 

That next morning, she breaks up with me and tells me she isn't into it. Is it really possible to just forget all emotions like that? I don't think so. It's only a matter if time before she starts missing me. Right?

Edited August 20, 2010 by TeenMovie

[Jeff M Stevens]

Sorry man....once women make the break, that is IT. She is NOT missing you at all. She has moved on for sure.

 

Even if she does come back, she is OUT as far as I'm concerned because once they break up with you, it will never be the same.

 

One chance, per woman, per lifetime. Below is an article I wrote about breaking up. I hope it helps you.

 

She Says She Hates to Break Your Heart

 

 

She is crying.

 

She is miserable.

 

She is breaking up with you and says she hates to break your heart.

 

On our dating women radio show, we have a name for her.

 

Actress.

 

Do you think she cares a bit about you once she has decided she is done with you and cuts you off?

 

No she does not.

 

You could fall down in the middle of the street with 2 broken arms struggling to get up before a Mack Truck ends your existence and she will step over you to get a tissue for her new boyfriend who has the sniffles.

 

All right, that is in extreme example, but not by much!

 

The point is, women do not just break up in a huff (most of the time). They are generally better at this dating and relationship stuff than guys are.

 

They lose interest slowly, over time. They make a decision to break up with you but stay around for awhile just making sure they are right to end the relationship. And they are building up resentment for you.

 

When their resentment pail is filled, it is time to make you go bye bye.

 

It is a great scene too. She has never found anyone like you. She wishes things had worked out. Gosh, she wants you to have all the luck in the world and hopes you find true happiness.

 

Then she leaves. It would be easier for her to remember the 100 questions on her 4th grade spelling test than it would be to remember your name after she is out of there!

 

Meanwhile, you have a bottle of booze, a sad radio station playing at all times and you are ready to crawl under your bed and never come back out.

 

I am not saying that a breakup is easy, especially when you loved the girl but NEVER fool yourself that she is somehow thinking she made a major mistake.

 

Yes, there can be scenarios where the woman was totally in love with a guy and he might have been an alcoholic that reformed and they got back together.

 

But that is not the vast majority of what we experience on our dating women radio show.

 

Most of the time the guy finds her, gets her to fall in love and then lowers her interest level in him by doing all the wrong things because he got too "comfortable" with her.

 

Her response? Getting less and less interested until she is completely resentful and sure that she never wants to see him again.

 

Remember guys, after she is done crying and claiming that she hates to break your heart, she is out of there and you are nothing more than an afterthought, FOR LIFE.

[flyguy23]

I feel like this is so true and this is the case for me

[dextm]

Most of the time the guy finds her, gets her to fall in love and then lowers her interest level in him by doing all the wrong things because he got too "comfortable" with her.

 

So it's the guys fault then?

 

 

Sounds like my situation though...how do we prevent ourselves from getting too "comfortable"?

[Jeff M Stevens]

Sometimes you are with the right girl and you get too comfortable with her. Exciting Friday night dates with her where you laughed and danced until 2 in the morning now are a movie with you falling asleep with half eaten pizzas on your lap.

 

A crazy illustration but it is true in most relationships that the man she FELL IN LOVE with no longer exists.

 

As guys, we think we can RELAX once we have her but the work has just begun. She is NOT our best friend or faithful pooch. Both our buddies and our dogs will forgive a lack of attention but she will not. You better be the guy she fell in love with in year 1 and in year 40. (A lot of) guys will stop taking their significant other out, stop paying attention to her (or dial the attention back) and basically not be the same guy she fell in love with.

 

It's like sales. If you've never been in sales before, it is a lot of work to get the right account to spend great money with you just as it is a lot of work to get the right girl. Of course, if you have the right girl, she does make it obvious and easy for you to be around her, but it is still work in that you have to approach her, get her number, ask her out, take her on several dates and get TIME in with her as you develop the relationship.

 

Just as there is HEAVY COMPETITION for a good paying account in sales, there is HEAVY COMPETITION for a girl that is attractive to you, sweet, supportive, self-reliant and flexible with high integrity (the only type of girl you should try to build something long term with).

 

You can never be off your A game with a good account in sales just as you can never be off your A game with the woman of your dreams.

 

Every relationship does get out of the giddy phase but that does not mean you can take her for granted. Even guys that have been married for 30 years should take their wives out on a "date" at least once a week where you do not talk about problems----you just have fun.

 

On the other side of the coin, some guys just pick the wrong girl. They overrate her physical beauty and ignore signs that she might be structured, hard headed, more into money than them, a person with low integrity or someone with low self-esteem. It is impossible to make it work when you have the wrong girl to begin with.

 

The key is to weed out the wrong ones and then make sure to treat the right one, right............for life!

 

Hope this helps