Nappeal Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 So I made a post about it, but like I knew, my day slid way downhill rather quick. Needless to say, I didn't get much work done today. I had an ultrasound today; I sent him a pic and gave few details about the baby. I got no response. I'll say that sure, my text didn't warrant a response, but still...no 'that's good'; 'I'm glad he's healthy'...some BS answer like that? Why don't they ever try to contact you? How fkd up does that make you feel? Could they really have forgotten you that quickly, or do they have that little regard for you? I'm having a huge difficulty not expressing to him my anger, but @ the same time, wth would a text or email, no matter how well thought out, do to the situation? They won't change their minds. They won't come running back. IF they even look @ it, they'll roll their eyes and mumble...'why don't they get it?' Its pointless to tell them off - you still won't be satisfied because you'll never get the response from them that you want. I know it the deepest part of my heart AND mind that I couldn't have continued the relationship another year. For once, he was right. We wouldn't have worked out and I would've been soooo unhappy. He's a bad relationship guy, a total narcissist (sp?), and would make me miserable. I noticed in our time together that I walked on eggshells, avoided saying or doing certain things just to avoid his *****. That's SO NOT ME. I'm a 'I don't give a fk what you think or have to say about me!' kind of chick; I felt like I was letting my own self down when I'd avoid certain things just to not get a negative reaction or judgement from him. He often didn't have anything positive to say about me, intentionally did things I didn't like, and was always talking ***** about something that had to do w me. He called me fat more throughout this pregnancy while everyone has said nothing but great things (I've gained and then lost 8 pounds this whole time); he admitted he had to give me crap cuz everyone else babies me. Really??! I wonder if the relationship was borderline abusive... He's also right that things haven't been working for months. Things were off; he was acting weird; and I was reminded ealier tonight about the 'friend' w a female name who text messaged him late. Or how the last 2 wkends of our relationship he didn't once cuddle in bed - not like him. Or how he didn't bother for sex for 2 weeks. Damn, I could go on. Either way, something had been going on, but I was under the impression from him that he was still interested and commited. It was a rug pulled under me w the one liner text break up. I'm angry he didn't have the balls to dump me in a more considerate way; that he has the ability to totally wipe me out of his life; that he could do it w no explaination; that he could do it when I'm 7 months pregnant. But I'm thankful. I've been too afraid to lose him despite my unhappiness and such, so I would've probably stuck it out for a while. I'm glad that if he was going to be such a punk that he did it now instead of letting me believe we had a future...all thru having the baby. His ignoring me is doing me a favor - there's no way I could've kept myself from conversation had he contacted me, and its really pissing me off. He's not a very good person unless he wants to be. There's so much I will miss, but there's just as much that I won't. His life is crappy right now so maybe I should feel bad for him. He's only got enough motivation to do so much in his life; chances are he'll be in a year where he is now, plus a baby who he never wants to see but he pays child support for He'll move from one to another, never being content because he isn't fulfilled w in himself. Thanks ABC for doing this; it'll be hard for me, but its my motivation to do even better for myself...and OUR son. You did me a favor. I truly hope you show interest in your child like you've promised this whole time, but otherwise I wish you well. And thanks if you read this far...I really, REALLY needed to vent
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