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I have just publicaly broken the NC rule, and im loving it!!

Fruitpunch

By Fruitpunch
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Fruitpunch Established Member

Fruitpunch

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Haha, the title was a red herring btw, please read

 

I got dunped from a 4yr around 2 weeks ago. Long story. I broke up with her. She stalked me for 12 months instead of accepting it. She started a course next to my office to stalk me, we slept together, i couldnt commit, i eventually did. She ended it. I did NC for 4 months, we got back together, she one day acted like a dick and wouldnt even talk to me , just one text out of the blue saying it was over and she wasnt coming to meet to talk about it.

 

AAAnyway, i was on here the first few days cos it hurt. But all through that time, even after the text i was working, down the gym, planning my life. Not waiting about for someone who isnt worth my time.

 

Today our city paper rang me up and said they want to do a cover story on me. My music company has done amazingly in the last 2 years and its now worth millions, im travelling to 4 continents next week to talk at events, im a big deal, because i put a LOT of work in. And when we broke up i put even more work in, and it has really helped me evaluate my goals.

 

So in about 2 weeks when im half way around the world with many different women shell be looking at a pic of me, with an article telling the whole town how brilliant i am.

She may think i did it on purpose, i dont really ****ing care. All i know is human nature will make sure she isnt happy for me, and all she will feel is jealousy, longing and that nagging feeling that she just made a massive mistake. Revenge? Nah, not worth it. Retribution , maybe!

 

My point to this whole thing isnt that im brilliant, it's just that i got on with things. I was heartbroken, i had the same feelings everyone else gets, EXACTLY the same. But i chose to keep them there and battle through it, and in around 2 weeks i am so effing happy with how awesome my life is, that i feel like punching the air.

 

We are alive for such a short time. Dont count the days until your over someone. this is THE BEST time to go and do something. You wil NEVER be as motivated as you are when you got dumped.

 

If i was with my ex i wouldnt have been reaching out to the events i'm speaking at, organising hook ups, seeing girls in different countries.

 

But i now am, and thank **** i didnt fall to pieces.

 

The answer isn't them. It isn't getting someone on the rebound to put your emotional baggage on. Do YOU. You have an ambition? fulfill it

 

You've just lost what seems like the most important thing to you. It isnt the most important thing, you are!

Put yourself first now, take that pain you feel, get used to it and go out there and live your life.

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Fruitpunch Established Member

Fruitpunch

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Boooom!!!:)

Nappeal Established Member

Nappeal

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Congratulations !!

 

And Thank You...

 

We all realize, or will eventually anyway, exactly what you're saying. Its good to hear inspiring words when you're down

Thorgs Established Member

Thorgs

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Amazing. Great job on blowing up your record company and using the breakup as fuel to reach the top. That must be a sweet ass gig. Much better than working at a public school and hating it like I do. :p

Beeotch Established Member

Beeotch

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The answer isn't them. It isn't getting someone on the rebound to put your emotional baggage on. Do YOU. You have an ambition? fulfill it

 

You've just lost what seems like the most important thing to you. It isnt the most important thing, you are!

Put yourself first now, take that pain you feel, get used to it and go out there and live your life.

 

 

Ditto! :)

 

When you get to that point, you become so free! It's a beautiful thing when after focusing on this person for sooo long, what they're thinking, doing, saying, wearing and with whom, bending over backwards doing sometimes degrading things to get them back and the list goes on and on.....when that beautiful LIGHT turns on and you realize....WTF???!!! And see that break ups are FOR YOU. Something in YOUR life that can propel you in a better direction, your world becomes so different and you truly start healing :)

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Fruitpunch Established Member

Fruitpunch

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Amazing. Great job on blowing up your record company and using the breakup as fuel to reach the top. That must be a sweet ass gig. Much better than working at a public school and hating it like I do. :p

 

I actually worked in a school for a bit dude after i dropped college. And i was unemployed for 3 years while i was trying to get my company off the ground.

 

ANYthing is possible.

And i think i had more girls when i was unemployed lol, its all bout the attitude you project.

Thorgs Established Member

Thorgs

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I actually worked in a school for a bit dude after i dropped college. And i was unemployed for 3 years while i was trying to get my company off the ground.

 

ANYthing is possible.

And i think i had more girls when i was unemployed lol, its all bout the attitude you project.

Crazy, I dropped college too. I agree, attitude is everything. It's all about being confident.

leftfield Established Member

leftfield

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Crazy, I dropped college too. I agree, attitude is everything. It's all about being confident.

 

How do you actually BE confident when you have just had the rug pulled from underneath you? Does that old 'fake it till you make it' adage actually work, or do people just see you as, well, fake.

 

I'm loving the upbeat nature of this post, and I completely agree that the time after a break up can be the most self-focussed and productive time anyone can ever experience if you spin it right. But it's a lot easier if you're naturally confident. what happens if you're not?

Sambo Established Member

Sambo

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This post should be made a Sticky lol

 

Congrats Bro !

 

The absolute best way to get over your ex is to GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE !!!

 

We are all not rock stars like op but we can all be happy and that's what your number one goal should be. I found my happiness by reconnecting with my spirituality and God and we all must find our own path to happiness.

 

 

GET HAPPY and you will have your life back !!!

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Beeotch Established Member

Beeotch

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How do you actually BE confident when you have just had the rug pulled from underneath you? Does that old 'fake it till you make it' adage actually work, or do people just see you as, well, fake.

 

I'm loving the upbeat nature of this post, and I completely agree that the time after a break up can be the most self-focussed and productive time anyone can ever experience if you spin it right. But it's a lot easier if you're naturally confident. what happens if you're not?

 

It's a great time to actually work on yourself.

 

If you aren't a confident person, then now you can figure out why you aren't confident and how you can genuinely become that way. :)

 

I think so many people fail to realize the truth about break ups: they expose YOU. You no longer have someone else to invest in, hide behind, put your baggage on so you become acutely aware of yourself. It may not be pretty, it hurts, not because the other person is gone only, but because you finally have to face yourself and your demons alone...no excuses. Things you didn't even know were a problem come up, good time to fix them. When you do that and GROW for real, your life gets soo much better.

I love this quote:

 

One of the biggest problems in a relationship is that after six months to a year, one or both parties will often complain of feeling “bored”.

In reality, you probably felt bored before you ever met this person. Now that the newness has worn off, you're back to life as it was before the relationship started, because the fact is:

Being in a relationship is just like being single – only with another person there

If you are a boring person, you'll probably attract other boring people... and have a boring relationship. Whatever you took with you into the relationship, will be what you have to deal with.

Sambo Established Member

Sambo

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. :)

 

I think so many people fail to realize the truth about break ups: they expose YOU. You no longer have someone else to invest in, hide behind, put your baggage on so you become acutely aware of yourself. It may not be pretty, it hurts, not because the other person is gone only, but because you finally have to face yourself and your demons alone...no excuses. Things you didn't even know were a problem come up, good time to fix them. When you do that and GROW for real, your life gets soo much better.

 

Very well said !!!!!

 

Everyone in here needs to understand this.

leftfield Established Member

leftfield

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...the truth about break ups: they expose YOU. You no longer have someone else to invest in, hide behind, put your baggage on so you become acutely aware of yourself. It may not be pretty, it hurts, not because the other person is gone only, but because you finally have to face yourself and your demons alone...no excuses.

 

Hmm, yes, I see what you mean :o

Beeotch Established Member

Beeotch

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Very well said !!!!!

 

Everyone in here needs to understand this.

 

Yea....it was a great epiphany when I realized it.

 

Observing my ex also helped me to see that truth, that many people use relationships as a huge distraction from the real problem: themselves. He wouldn't want to face himself so he would find some woman, any woman it would seem, overnight and then get into a "relationship", not because it was genuinely what he wanted but because it was a perfect distraction. He would get "bored", because after a time the truth starts coming through (sorry you can't outrun your demons as they live on your back) , dump them, come back to me saying he needs to work on himself then get scared to face himself, so literally over night he would find another woman, get into a new relationship and the cycle continued. At first it was upsetting then when I saw how pathological it is and how so many people do this to some extent....It became sad.

 

The best thing you can do is to fix yourself, then EVERYTHING else will fall into place. But trying to get your ex back or finding some other person is putting the cart before the horse. If you have things to work on (as we all do) it is best you do that instead of repeating the same thing over and over, because you didn't grow, you just got over this one person only to find some new one to do the same thing with.

BeagleGal Established Member

BeagleGal

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AGREE 10000%!

I am a work in progress as I type this and although its freakin' scary for me to once again be on my own, its happened for a reason (that's an understatment) and I'm ready to get to know me.

 

Fruitpunch: I'm coming with you. :laugh:

 

It's a great time to actually work on yourself.

 

If you aren't a confident person, then now you can figure out why you aren't confident and how you can genuinely become that way. :)

 

I think so many people fail to realize the truth about break ups: they expose YOU. You no longer have someone else to invest in, hide behind, put your baggage on so you become acutely aware of yourself. It may not be pretty, it hurts, not because the other person is gone only, but because you finally have to face yourself and your demons alone...no excuses. Things you didn't even know were a problem come up, good time to fix them. When you do that and GROW for real, your life gets soo much better.

 

I love this quote:

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Fruitpunch Established Member

Fruitpunch

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AGREE 10000%!

 

 

Fruitpunch: I'm coming with you. :laugh:

 

You are more than welcome, there is room at the top for everyone!!!

 

And as for where confidence comes from. I dont think ANYone is naturally 100% confident.

My confidence comes from embracing fear. If i am scared of something it gives me a massive challenge. And the feeling i get when i overcome said fear is amazing, and fills me with confidence.

 

Do something different, embrace your fears, even if its being on your own.

See this whole break up deal as a test on your character.

In 6 months time you will be mostly over it anyway.

If you spent the next 6 months working on yourself, becoming more confident, trying new things, it will show yourself and the world that you control your destiny.

And if life hands you a bad card you play on regardless

And you don't wait around on anyone to make life happen for you.

Sambo Established Member

Sambo

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You are more than welcome, there is room at the top for everyone!!!

 

And as for where confidence comes from. I dont think ANYone is naturally 100% confident.

My confidence comes from embracing fear. If i am scared of something it gives me a massive challenge. And the feeling i get when i overcome said fear is amazing, and fills me with confidence.

 

Do something different, embrace your fears, even if its being on your own.

See this whole break up deal as a test on your character.

In 6 months time you will be mostly over it anyway.

If you spent the next 6 months working on yourself, becoming more confident, trying new things, it will show yourself and the world that you control your destiny.

And if life hands you a bad card you play on regardless

And you don't wait around on anyone to make life happen for you.

 

 

Dude,

 

I'm not easily inspired but this is some deep stuff.

 

I actually think I'm going to cut and paste this so I can read this every day. :)

 

 

btw, I actually represent a musician called Paris Black who is on the verge of busting wide open big time. We are in negotiations with KISS right now to get him on the opening act for a few shows.

 

I hope to be in your shoes very soon as well.:cool:

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Fruitpunch Established Member

Fruitpunch

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Dude,

 

I'm not easily inspired but this is some deep stuff.

 

I actually think I'm going to cut and paste this so I can read this every day. :)

 

 

btw, I actually represent a musician called Paris Black who is on the verge of busting wide open big time. We are in negotiations with KISS right now to get him on the opening act for a few shows.

 

I hope to be in your shoes very soon as well.:cool:

 

That is Freekin AWESOME dude!! I just checked out the guy. Very cool.

Now He looks like he gets the chicks lol. You could do a lot worse than hanging out with that guy while your getting over things lol.

 

I actually started my company when i got dropped by a label and that was the exact same emotional pain as being dumped. And im so glad it happened because all that anger i had meant i was working 18 hr days and knew id do anything to show myself and that label i was worth something.

And guess what, 2 of those people from that label have come to me for jobs! And instead of taking them on i took on their younger, more dynamic and passionate interns who are effing brilliant!!!

 

I guess there is a massive relationship metaphor in that eh lol!!

 

I still get the empty feelings. The anger.

Its only been two weeks. If i go to sleep my brain drifts back where i dont want it to, and it is hard.

But i wake up, have a shower, remind myself what i have and what i want and then i get on it.

 

We all have so much awesome stuff around us that we take for granted.

To Quote Coco Chanel

"Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door"

 

That small part of your life is gone, but the rest of it is still here and a brand new door has just opened.

Lets GO!!!!!!

BeagleGal Established Member

BeagleGal

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YAY!

 

I couldn't have said it better myself. I have done the pity party, I have cried my eyes out, I have been depressed, I had my share of grieving the loss and I have felt hugely stung by the betrayal. It is now time to move forward and like you said below - its time to work on myself.

 

I got a new haircut last night, am going with my mom soon to be buy some painting supplies to get back into doing art, will be taking a solo trip this fall (haven't decided where yet), and am thinking of taking another part-time course (took an accounting one while living with my ex)...

 

I gave my ex way too much power up until recently. That power I have taken back to put it to good use for ME.

 

Fruitpunch, it was refreshing to read that you are now living your life and not living in "stuck" because of your breakup.

 

You are more than welcome, there is room at the top for everyone!!!

 

Do something different, embrace your fears, even if its being on your own.

See this whole break up deal as a test on your character.

In 6 months time you will be mostly over it anyway.

If you spent the next 6 months working on yourself, becoming more confident, trying new things, it will show yourself and the world that you control your destiny.

And if life hands you a bad card you play on regardless

And you don't wait around on anyone to make life happen for you.

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Fruitpunch Established Member

Fruitpunch

Posted
  • Author
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YAY!

 

I couldn't have said it better myself. I have done the pity party, I have cried my eyes out, I have been depressed, I had my share of grieving the loss and I have felt hugely stung by the betrayal. It is now time to move forward and like you said below - its time to work on myself.

 

I got a new haircut last night, am going with my mom soon to be buy some painting supplies to get back into doing art, will be taking a solo trip this fall (haven't decided where yet), and am thinking of taking another part-time course (took an accounting one while living with my ex)...

 

I gave my ex way too much power up until recently. That power I have taken back to put it to good use for ME.

 

Fruitpunch, it was refreshing to read that you are now living your life and not living in "stuck" because of your breakup.

 

Yes!!!

Thats the spirit!!! I can always tell when girls i know have been through a break up as they have brand new hair do's and a new way of thinking. And its SO attractive!!

 

Whatever happens to us just gives us experience and with experience new confidence in ourselves, and that is SO attractive to other people.

 

I went to a bar tonight and was feeling so hyped. The convos i had here, seeing old friends, i just seemed to have people pouring off me. I met a smoking hot girl that im going to meet up with soon, was sitting in a booth in between about 7 women lol and managed to make a bunch of my friends feel amazing about themselves because of the attitude i projected. Giving them value, wanting nothing in return

 

Dont let some person take away how awesome you really are. They want that. They want to see you miss them, feel bad, not go out.

**** that. You were awesome before they came along and we will be awesome after they have gone.

 

I have a flight to catch in the morning to go see my bisexual model who lives on the beach in Los Angeles. Someone i actually gave up to get back with my ex lol. Someone i thought was AMAZING before i got back with my ex but completely blanked here. Luckily for me she is still around.

You can imagine how much i WONT regret being couped up with my ex now, in a **** town with the same old **** we had before.

 

Be awesome , to everyone, and you will get it back one hundred fold.

 

Do it Today!!!!!

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