LostInTurn Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 So, today... I asked that he block me from ever being able to contact him. I tried NC and I can go maybe but one week and then I cave. I cannot do this. I asked that if he really feels we are through then to block me to ensure no contact made on my part. This will essentially help me as well with the coping / moving on process. I feel like an idiot having called and text. I am a good person, and I feel like a needy ex girlfriend; which I'm not. Never mind, I don't want his ego to think I'm pathetic. So, there it is. Hopefully he blocks me. He gets so frustrated with me, I don't see why he won't. He really has no reason not to. Unless he doesn't because he just needs time. Regardless........ I hope he does. It's sad, but I had to.
flyguy23 Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 Sorry to hear that, NC is hard for me as well. I haven't even made it a week yet. A couple days and I am struggling. Hang in there hopefully it will get easier for both of us.
Author LostInTurn Posted August 19, 2010 Author Posted August 19, 2010 Sorry to hear that, NC is hard for me as well. I haven't even made it a week yet. A couple days and I am struggling. Hang in there hopefully it will get easier for both of us. One day I'm fine, the next I call. It's not easy. I wish you luck. I know it's difficult. Stay strong... I wish I could just blink my eyes and make it all better for us. I truly do.
Thierro Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 You seem like a sweet girl. You are really hurt right now. This is obvious after reading your posts. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t241428/ Maybe that story will sooth your mind for a bit. The world seems like one crazy place right now. You thought that you build something out of solid rock, but now it seems only paper that is ripping to pieces and taken by the storm. The wind makes you cold and scared. You feel alone and you don’t have a place to hide. The fear is blinding you from all the greatness that life has to offer. You have found some valuable info and people here on LS that will help you out. You are sharing your feelings; great. Keep sharing your heart and we will listen. If you really have a hard time; you can send me a private message when I am around and we will talk for a bit. Get those thoughts out there. I believe that this period you are going through is an experience we all need to go through. You learn, you evolve, you grow stronger and more capable of loving yourself. This is about you. There comes a time that you will need to accept life and who you are. This doesn’t give you immunity from pain or a broken relationship in the future, but it gives you the right fundamentals to heal and work with to keep your self-worth up to par.
BiAxident Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 Perhaps you could try focusing on what contacting your ex makes you feel like? I know that when I initiated NC, it was easy for me to maintain it. What was hard was fighting the feeling of exhilaration that would overcome me whenever I looked down at my cellphone and saw that she had called. Does contacting him, out of desperation or not, make you feel any better?
Username37 Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 We cave. I did a few times. But now I know ya know? Remember: If you fall, LS will catch ya and bring you back up. Good luck to you
Author LostInTurn Posted August 20, 2010 Author Posted August 20, 2010 I just feel like a pathetic moron who reached out and got beat up. He has this entire thought of me that's so twisted now. It's like he lost sight of the good in me because what... I reached out, he freaked out and jumped to conclusions and wouldn't listen. Mad! It's worse than talking to a wall. Seriously.
Author LostInTurn Posted August 20, 2010 Author Posted August 20, 2010 You seem like a sweet girl. You are really hurt right now. This is obvious after reading your posts. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t241428/ Maybe that story will sooth your mind for a bit. The world seems like one crazy place right now. You thought that you build something out of solid rock, but now it seems only paper that is ripping to pieces and taken by the storm. The wind makes you cold and scared. You feel alone and you don’t have a place to hide. The fear is blinding you from all the greatness that life has to offer. You have found some valuable info and people here on LS that will help you out. You are sharing your feelings; great. Keep sharing your heart and we will listen. If you really have a hard time; you can send me a private message when I am around and we will talk for a bit. Get those thoughts out there. I believe that this period you are going through is an experience we all need to go through. You learn, you evolve, you grow stronger and more capable of loving yourself. This is about you. There comes a time that you will need to accept life and who you are. This doesn’t give you immunity from pain or a broken relationship in the future, but it gives you the right fundamentals to heal and work with to keep your self-worth up to par. Thank you, and that post via link was amazing. I thought I had learned. I've had my fair share of horrible relationships. And there I was, with a guy I thought was everything. Giving my all, taking care of him, doing everything by the damn book. Now, I'm angry and jaded. That moron still won't block me! I know it sounds juvenile, but it makes total sense to me. He needs to do this for me. Then, poof, I'm gone. It's a win-win. I don't know what his problem is!
Author LostInTurn Posted August 20, 2010 Author Posted August 20, 2010 Still not blocked! It's not rocket science! I don't know what his problem is! It's a win-win for both of us. Yes, I am freaking out because I just want the closure. I want it to end. Maybe he likes knowing I'm there and he'll hear from me. I don't know, but regardless. I've had times in my life when I didn't want to hear from someone and I blocked them, easy. WTF!? I hope each day I wake hating him more and more. This is the only way I think. He has broken my soul. I'm a good person.
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